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PTSD and Dissociation - How to deal with it?

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moon41001
moon41001

I have PTSD from multiple traumas in my life. I was in 2 fires around the age of 3 and now i'm intensely sensitive to alarms, open flames, prefer not to be around people smoking as the smoke sets me off, alongside a whole bunch of other hypervigiliante behaviour.This combines with PTSD from a sexual assault when i was 14 that i woke up to happening, and then a few years on when i was 19 i woke up to being raped. This has given me issues with sleeping, my own bed, hypervigiliance surrounding me, being followed and knowing who is in a room and where exits or weapons may be, alongside keeping my back to a wall at all times if possible. I live each day of my life never fully relaxing because of it, and it's exhausting. But the thing that gets to me the most is my dissociation. 

I experience dissociative symptoms where my skin does not feel like my own. It feels like it's a film laying on top of my muscles, that it does not fit and that i'm too small for it or that it's just plain wrong and it makes me wish I would rip it off in strips. This makes me self harm sometimes, though i have strategies in place to try and avoid this. But recently, for the past 3 weeks i have been constantly feeling like my skin does not belong to me. 

I cannot relax and i cannot get settled. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice for me from their own experience that may help me to feel normal in my own skin again?

1 like, 1 reply

1 Reply

  • brooke69679
    brooke69679 moon41001

    Posted

    I go through pretty severe PTSD and it’s a daily battle. The feelings I get on a daily basis and so rough, including not feeling like I’m myself in my own body almost. Sometimes it eases up, then comes back so strong. I get severe intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation that feels impossible to fight. I also relive what happened all the time. I also have terrible depression and anxiety. Each day is a battle, but you are not alone even when it feels it. Take everything minute by minute, don’t take on too much and keep fighting

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