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Ptsd and extreme behavior changes

Posted , 2 users are following.

bill78216
bill78216

If you’ve read any of my other post, then you’ll know that my partner who suffers with ptsd dumped me as if he were throwing away a bag of garbage. 

We started out, IMO, doing just fine. He was a little apprehensive with trust issues and all, but nonetheless, he was fine, or at least I thought. The last time I physically saw him was in November 2017, and his behavior was indicative of what was to come, but I wasn’t aware at the time. I remembered him hugging me as he did when we first started dating, and kissing me as if to say good bye forever. Now as I reflect, I recall his ex never really being out of the picture, so it leads to believe he still may be there. Before my ex left, he treated me like I was a major problem in his life and that what he once felt was no longer in place as if the entire time he was just stringing me along until things were back in place with his ex. Please keep in mind that I’m only speculating that he may be back with him; however, all the signs are there.

I can’t tell you how supportive I actually was and still am to this very moment, with: paying a monthly phone bill, paying for things he needed, wanting to know how to be more supportive, making personal sacrifices in order for him to have. Then he tells me before he leaves, whatever he does to not take personal. I don’t get that statement at all except for knowing that he’s ill. As much as I still try to support him with hopes that he will come to grips, I don’t trust him enough to have a relationship or friendship at this point; too much damage has been done.

His mom reached out to me to check on me and to explain that she definitely cares about me and she wants us to be fine; and although I found it a little strange, I was fine with her wants. So needless to say, I will maintain a friendship with his mom, with caution. I’m aware of ptsd not allowing for sufferers to maintain healthy connections with anyone who may be close to them, but I guess (without being educated on the subject) I never anticipated this to happen with me.

1 like, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • hope4cure
    hope4cure bill78216

    Posted

    I would be a little weary to remain friends with his family. They can suck you up back into the whole stressful life again preying on your need to remain friends anand you need to let it go and move on. Heal yourself find a better way to push thru whatever you decide remember behaviors do not change only you can change yours and he can only change his. 

    I wish you the best in whatever you decide.

    • bill78216
      bill78216 hope4cure

      Posted

      Believe me, due to my knowing if he and his mother’s craftiness, I’m aware of how I’ll behave at this point. 

      As mentioned, i can have a friendship with his mother, not necessarily him. I have no interest in re-establishing anything with him at this point. He really made a drastic mistake with me and I can’t ever let that go. I’m sure he’ll discover his mistake one day, but once you’ve crossed the line with me, I have a hard time letting you back in. It’s sad that ptsd robs not only the sufferer but also the supporter of what could be a fascinating relationship.

  • hope4cure
    hope4cure bill78216

    Posted

    You sound very wise and sometime the relationships we invest into can be a learning experience. PTSD will always come first and you need a stress free two way relationship putting each other first not the illness that rides on the on your heart ??.

    wishing you the best and everyone choices are made with their own life's experiences right or wrong we all know we have to put our lives first in order to move foreword.

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