PTSD from being sexually abused as a child
Posted , 6 users are following.
How do I stop the feelings I get where I no longer want to live? I am on my second marriage and I cheated on my husband. He knows we are trying to work through this and I cannot forgive myself for being so stupid as to.cheat on the only person who truly loved me. But I keep pushing him away. I have a dad who has nothing to do with me my step dad when I was a child sexually abused me. I had been remembering lately I was sexually abused by my second step dad as well. Over the past year when I get upset I want to kill myself. I have thrown myself downstairs I tried to slit my wrists but my husband stopped me. I have talked to professionals but I am sick of them just wanting to medicate me. I hit things throw things try to leave but I have no where to go and no one to run to? Any advise
1 like, 11 replies
Koolredd Whatever1972
Posted
The fact that your husband just wants to work everything out with you even tho you cheated sounds like a wonderful man and I swear to you the same thing that you are going through I'm having similarities . You have anger built go inside of you and you have to let it go (I know I haven't so I don't know why I'm not practicing what I'm preaching)
But you can't be stuck in the past , you have to move on .. You have a wonderful husband in your life who wouldn't let anything happen to you now .. And I would like to ask did you get therapy when you were younger ?
Even tho you cheated everyone makes mistakes .. The fact that you are try to mend that mistake and move on is all that matters .
Don't hurt yourself because of your past sweetie & who knows. Maybe a dose of medicine can help you rid these estranged feelings & hurt of the past , you also have to forgive .. Never forget . But forgive .the longer you hold on to the pain & hurt and anger the more it hurts you
How old were you when you got sexually abused ?
Whatever1972 Koolredd
Posted
hypercat Whatever1972
Posted
Meds have their uses and can get you to a place where you feel a bit better and more able to tackle this. Counselling (the right kind) can be of enormous help in this as it can help you face your fears and feelings, which is what you must do. You will never move on without it. So take the help offered and start changing your life for the better. x
simon66470 Whatever1972
Posted
You have been "unfaithfull".Did you do it for "Attention?"..."excitement?".to "re live" the guilt ?.=To punish yourself.
Your husband has forgiven.,because of "understanding".Others would not and terminate the relationship..You are fortunate you have been given another chance.Your husband is prepared to "talk",discuss etcTo be the "listener"
But you must listen to yourself first!Only then can you now steer yourself accordingly with your husbands emotional support.He is prepared to share your deep rooted issues.Don't use him as the "whipping post" for all your frustration.
Forgive yourself then accept His hand outstretched to you=TAKE IT.
Whatever1972 simon66470
Posted
simon66470
Posted
As long as you can both talk= you will make emotional progress.Strengthens everything...and you need strength to heal..
lorraine52317 Whatever1972
Posted
so sorry you are having such a difficult time right now.
when a person is sexually abused it's as if your very essence/soul is traumatised and scarred for life. It is something most people don't fully recover from hence the difficulties remain throughout a lifetime. The key is to accept that this has happened to you and accept this was out of your control eg you could not stop it. If
you continue to let these horrible events run your life, then you are letting those that abused you, keep that control over you.
You need to work on healing yourself and to truly believe that in no way was this abuse your choice. But now you do have the choice to move forward. Start by loving yourself and work hard on healing the scars of your past. By you hurting yourself, suggests you haven't learnt to love yourself and by cheating on your husband and telling him about it, suggests you were testing him to confirm if he would stick by you. Eg.Him agreeing would then confirm to you, that he lives you.
Each time you hurt yourself. .you are giving the power back to those that abused you. Hurting yourself is reaffirming in your mind that you are not worthy of being loved, happy and healthy. Please turn this behaviour around. YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING LOVED.HAPPY AND HEALTHY. External counselling is great but the real progress begins and ends with you.
accept you carry the battle scars, accept that this situation was out of your control, accept you are taking the control back, accept this situation hurt the core of you essence. Accept that you are going to work hard on healing your spirit/soul.
Lastly accept that hurting yourself or those that love you is counterproductive and delays your healing.
Remember you need to start loving yourself. . .This is essential for you to get better.
I'm so sorry you have had such a dreadful ordeal and sincerely hope you will fully recover from this.
You deserve to be loved by your husband/family and you deserve to be happy!
God bless you always
Lorraine xx
Whatever1972 lorraine52317
Posted
lorraine52317 Whatever1972
Posted
I'm here for you anytime.
Your in my prayers for you to find the strength to start the healing process xxx
fee25 lorraine52317
Posted
lorraine52317 fee25
Posted
How are you feeling today?
Really hope you are feeling a bit better xxxx