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pushing my wife away

Posted , 5 users are following.

hanky
hanky

hi all,  i have really hurt my wife in the way i am pushing her away and she says she is the problem, told her im  moving out and see how we go and she went mad at me as this will make us both worse, i dont want to be like this and i spoke to my mental health nurse and she said im trying to run before i can walk where as im not givinng the tablets time to work, im lost and feel alone ( even with the wife here ) im all over her in the way i always want to hold her hand and sit next to her and i feel as though i am suffocating her ( she assures me im not ) im still going to work and am finding it really hard, i dont wanna give in as i got loads to live for, but i thought if i moved out i wouldnt be here to hurt my wife and to tell her my thoughts, my nurse did tell me that before i speak i should think about what im going to say,

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • happybarb
    happybarb hanky

    Posted

    Hanky, I'm sorry your feeling like this. My husband felt like I was pushing him out of by issues. I felt that I was protecting him.  This past ER visit we had a great talk, he wants to be involved and I'm sure your wife does too. Sometimes I think we project our feelings on our mates and we are completely off base.  Stick with it. 
    • hanky
      hanky happybarb

      Posted

      shes getting fed up of me repeating myself, like i askher if she loves me and that we will be ok, i just cannot help myself all i feel like is being on my own then i cant say hrtful things to her or others, my mental nurse said  it takes time for tabs to kick in. i want it to happen now :-/ i wish i wasnt like this, dont know if the sertraline is making me worse or the new tabs called quetiapine are but my nurse said these will calm your thoughts down hmmmmm  and thanks for replying
    • happybarb
      happybarb hanky

      Posted

      When my anxiety is high I ask my husband over and over if he loved. Even though he keeps reinforcing that we are together through sickness and health.  You are worth in hanky, your wife will stick by you. When the medication kicks in this will become clear to you. Hang in there. This is tough. 
  • jose79057
    jose79057 hanky

    Posted

    Hanky, your nurse is right also problems are better dealt with together and face to face. Also count to ten before saying something that may hurt her. About how long the Setraline will take to work I don't know as I only been on for 14 days. Stay strong, be positive. 
  • smiler3476
    smiler3476 hanky

    Posted

    DONT GIVE IN! my husband doesn't even understand what the tablets are (I've told him they're sleepers.) He's not the sympathetic type. Don't get me wrong he shows me love tells me he loves me etc but the reassurance I need is for him to understand how I'm feeling and he just can't get his head round it so prefers not to talk about it. Depression doesn't exist in his world (not for the want of trying to make him understand) please let your wife in if not for your sake for hers you both said vows let her stand by hers. Take care of yourself and hopefully we'll be seeing sunshine again soon xx
  • jose79057
    jose79057 hanky

    Posted

    How is going today Hanky ?
    • hanky
      hanky jose79057

      Posted

      Hey Jose, I'm fine today, please rad my new post on 14 day on sertraline :-) and thanks loads for asking 
    • jose79057
      jose79057 hanky

      Posted

      That's great news Hanky. You'll see it will get better. 👍😃
    • hanky
      hanky jose79057

      Posted

      hi jose, how are you today? im getting there but had a few thoughts today and just cannot get them out my head, im trying but prob trying too hard,i have just done a whole week at work and feel little better for going there as my mind is occupied quite a bit, i got the weekend of with the wife and im going to try nd enjoy it with no thoughts smile
    • jose79057
      jose79057 hanky

      Posted

      Hola Hanky; enjoy your weekend and try to clear your mind. Yes work keeps us occupied so away from some thoughts. Even I got back my appetite I still have this feeling of not wanting to do much , hope it goes away as I get into my third week. Have a great weekend.
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