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Questions on future intimacy

Posted , 2 users are following.

rickysg
rickysg

Hi,

I am in a gay relationship and we are in closed relationship for 3 years. There is only once my bf recieve oral from a man in 2013. In mid March this year, he had blisters on his penis. He went to see the doc, and got a blood test for Igg for both HSV 1 and 2.  Result was positive for HSV1 and negative for HSV2.  He had a second out break in mid April.  Till now no more outbreak.  I went for blood test too and negative for both HSV1 and 2.

I trust him when he told me did not step out of our commitment except that one time.  And I know, based on my reading that for antibody to develop and detected in blood test, the infection got to be more than three months.  And we did have unprotected sex (oral and anal) between Jan to March.  My questions are:

1.  If I go by the assumption that he was infected at that one time in 2013 and he is probably asymptomatic genital HSV1, it means that I was probably lucky that there was no shedding and hence not infected?

2. Because it is HSV1, can I safely assume that when I oral or even anal sex with him, the chances of being infected is low?

3. If I had oral sex with him and then kiss him, will we both risk having oral HSV1?

He had wanted to end the relationship, worrying that he would infect me. But I told him I would not mind at all. Our love is more than this worry. So any info will help me assure him of his fear.  

Thanks,

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken rickysg

    Posted

    So the statistics out there are for heterosexual couples, but I will post both to five you an idea. The following caveats apply to both scenarios. The blow transmission risks are based on abstaining from sexuak activity during signs or symptoms and having sex 2-3xs a week.

    FEMALE TO MALE:

    - no condoms or meds: 4%

    - condoms or meds (meaning daily suppression therapy w antivirals): 2%

    - using both condoms and meds: 1%

    MALE TO FEMALE:

    -no condoms or meds: 10%

    - condoms or meds (meaning daily suppression therapy w antivirals): 5%

    - using both condoms and meds: 2.5%

    This pertains to gHSV2. Due to gHSV1 having a lower transmission rate from genital to genital and less shedding, you can pretty much cut those statistics in half.

    I would not feet over being tested, unless you experience signs or symptoms and/or you guys decide to part ways.

    Because you guys have anal sex, I would use the male to female transmission rates. Cut them in half though and just be safe and you'll be fine. Since it is ghsv1, may as well actually use the female to male. Him taking meds daily would help lower your transmission risks.

    • rickysg
      rickysg feelbroken

      Posted

      Thanks feelbroken :-).  Appreciate your sharing.

      I tried to look for info on homosexual-male and not much info as you said.  Most alluded that higher rate of genital HSV1 due to oral sex and it seems more from oral to genital and less of genital to oral and I guess genital outbreak for male is more obvious and harder to miss.  I went for the blood test, in honesty, hoping that I am a asymptomatic to assure my partner that all is well and not to worry of infecting me.  He is loving and worry of infecting me.  HSV1 is not life threatening and I am prepared to live with it in solidary with him.  

      But I am just wondering will I get infected at anus from him?  Or get oral HSV1 from him since his last outbreak was April.  We did not have any sex as he was worry infecting me and I do not want to rush. Will longer wait from outbreak further minimise.  I think info will help assure him, more than me.  :-)

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken rickysg

      Posted

      Well hsv 2 isn't life threatening either. Don't wish to be infected sweets, the psychological trauma from the stigma is not fun to deal w. I highly doubt you have it, but I can relate to how he must feel. I am terrified of the day I get in a relationship w someone, because I will feel the way he does.

      As long as you guys abstain from sex during signs and symptoms, your risk is pretty low, but yes, you can get hsv 1 in your anus. I've never had anal sex and it spread to my anus. The sacral ganglia cluster the virus hangs out in, has a web of peripheral sensory nerves that go to the anogential area. That is lower back, buttock, anus, genitals, pelvis and upper thighs... So it can pop up where ever it wants.

      Yes, it is possible to get it orally from him as well and that's more than likely to happen, that getting it from sex, but again, the risk is pretty low. GHSV1 just doesn't shed or break out much on the genitals. You're seriously looking a very low risk. How about he get on daily therapy to fuvw him some piece of mind and you're looking at a less than 1% risk of transmission.

      You are most contagious during prodrome (symptoms before an ob occurs), during and right after. You are OK probably a week after the ob.

    • rickysg
      rickysg feelbroken

      Posted

      Thank you for the information.  It is traumatic.  I just want to stand by him to support him and assure him of my love.I will discuss with him about the daily therapy.  Maybe when he is more settled.  I do not want to rush.  I want to give time to deal with his emotion and assuring him first.

      Wish you well too...

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken rickysg

      Posted

      Well I'm glad he has such a supportive and understanding partner such as yourself. :-)
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