Questions on recovery, husband works away and I'm getting stressed

Posted , 3 users are following.

My husband is in the Navy and can't get any time off so we will be in different countries when I have my surgery and for most of my recovery. Also all my family and friends live too far away to be able to help (6 hours!). Thankfully my Mum can come up for a while. Initially I was thinking a week but now I'm thinking that's not long enough as once she's gone I'll be totally alone.

i'm having a 35cm simple cyst removed by laparotomy on the 7th July. How long will I be in hospital? What is the follow up care like in terms of hospital appointments etc? The hospital is really hard to get to by public transport (2 busses a day) and obviously I won't be able to drive but if my Mum was here she would be able to drive me. Is there anything I need to be aware of that I should consider?

any help would be appreciated as I'm starting to feel really stressed and alone sad

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi There mine was 23cm, and mum stayed with me for a month and had two weeks on my own before I was allowed back to work, I did have  full hysterectomy, and amendectomy, and to be honest you'll need someone for a month
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    • Posted

      Oh wow, a month?! I think I've really under estimated this sad As far as I know they are only removing the cyst and one ovary but because I don't have children they are going to try and leave the rest if they can. To be honest I'd rather they removed it all in one go. I'm 33 and have never wanted children, nor do I ever imagine I will. The thought of having to have further surgery is horrible so if I could get everything done in one go I would rather that. 

      Thank you so much for the reply. I think I'll need to speak to my Mum again!

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  • Posted

    Hi Carla. I wanted t share my experience with you but can't stress enough that everyone heals differently.

    I am 51 and 3 weeks ago I had large dermoid cyst removed along with both ovaries and tubes. This was done by open surgery and I have an 8" scar along my bikini line.

    When I woke from surgery I felt so bad for 24 hrs but think it was anaesthetic and morphine. 48 hrs after surgery I went home.

    It's true the more you move the less it hurts. I started short walks the day I returned. After 2 weeks I could look after myself perfectly, had no pain but very tired.

    it's now 3 weeks since my operation. I can do just about everything - no lifting heavy or stretching or driving- I have no pain and my energy levels are returning to normal. I can sleep on my stomach and though I am still swollen, this is starting to reduce.

    I would have needed help at home for 2 weeks. However I still can't vacuum or carry shopping but there are ways round that. I'm looking at going back t work in 3 weeks where hopefully I will be able t drive.

    I have one follow up appt 7 weeks from my operation. 

    My advice to you would be t have a plan a, b, and c just in case. Keep moving - regular walks even if only 5 minutes at a time and good luck!

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply. I'm thinking of asking my Mum to stay for 2 weeks as it sounds like I might need her! I'm not too bothered about housework, I'll just leave all that for when my husband eventually gets home lol. I guess I can stock up on food shopping and get some fresh (light) stuff delivered as and when I need it (I'll just give the delivery guy a sob story so they put it in my kitchen lol). Thankfully there's no kids to look after but I do have two small dogs. I think I'll look into hiring a temporary dog walker. 

      I have read a lot of women saying that moving about helps. I'm glad it will be the summer as I plan on short and easy walks around my little garden with my dogs (where they can be off lead and won't tug).

      I am starting to feel a bit more relaxed about it all after reading everyone's stories.

      Thank you!

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  • Posted

    Your going to need her for the month, i couldnt lift a kettle or drive for a month, and you'll be surprised how much you cant do, i was going to try and get my mum to just stay for two weeks but i was only just getting mobile then. Trust me, i'm the MOST impatient patient there is and wanted to be back at work asap and it was 6 weeks and then a staggard start back to work
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    • Posted

      I don't think she'll be able to stay that long. Her work are already being very understanding by giving her the 1-2 weeks off. I'm going to have to see if there's someone else that help me out. 

      I won't need to drive anywhere and will be taking loads of time off work. I think my husband can get weekends off from about week 3 which will help massively 

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    • Posted

      I do, also I am sure there are work colleagues I could ask for help. I hate to feel like I am putti people out but then I need to remember how important my recovery is. I'm 100% doing everything in my power to make this as good a recovery as possible. 

      Thanks for your replies, I really appreciate it smile 

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  • Posted

    Hi Carla

    I have done everything I've been told to - nothing more and nothing less and I truly was ok after two weeks. Just very tired easily. I aimed t have a routine as soon as I got home. 7am alarm and get up. Rest. Shower and rest. Lunch and rest. Walk and rest. Read and rest. Dinner and rest. Second walk, rest and bed. I filled a mug with water then transferred t kettle so I was only lifting minimal. I was putting washing in and hanging on a low washing line. I co u of cook just avoided heavy pans. You get the picture? I focussed on doing what I could rather than nothing and am so pleased I did. The last couple of days my walks are now 45minutes each, I've done gentle gardening, ironing with someone else getting the board out for me, computer work, washed Windows etc and I'm busy all day. Just have an hour's rest about this time of the day. Friends have had lunch 

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply. It really does sound like everyone is different when it comes to recovery.  I'm feeling a lot happier about it all in general after chatting to everyone but I do think I may ask my Mum to extend her stay a little if she can. Then I'll have a little more reassurance and will probably be able to relax even more! 
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  • Posted

    You're absolutely right  Carla. Everyone heals differently but we do need t be patient and get the balance right between doing and not doing. The one thing t stress is keep moving around. Hurts like shell t begin with but the more you do the better it gets - and quite quickly too.

    Good luck and let us know how you get on. Dx

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    • Posted

      Thanks Dawn. It's been really good to chat to others who understand.

      In a weird sort of way I'm looking forward to the surgery now! I guess I just want it over and done with so I can focus on recovery smile

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  • Posted

    That's great.  When you know it's coming you can't think of anything else can you!  Luckily I had a phone call giving me 5 days notice so I didn't have too long to flap - and trust me flap I did!

    I had a job interview 6 days after surgery and my goodness I looked a state.  I was wearing white surgical stockings (which I've only just ditched), too swollen to wear trousers, grey skin from lack of proper sleep and morphine, and had the most ridiculous walk.  Hey - I got the job though so it didn't affect my brain too much!

    One thing too - I also have a dog and I still won't walk him alone as I can't hold the lead if he pulls so your suggestion of a dog walker is essential.

    Good luck and as everyone on here says - often the thoughts and fear you have beforehand are much worse than the reality.  Thing beyond the first 48 hours and you will be fine!

    Take care

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    • Posted

      Although my dogs are small they are full of energy so they'll need at least one good walk a day! One of them pulls on his lead so I definitely need someone to take them out. I think a dog walker will be a good investment for all 3 of us! 

      I'm so glad it's summer too so I can leave the back doors open and they can go into the garden as and when they want, no need for me to get up! 

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  • Posted

    Just a quick update. I had my pre op assessment on Wednesday and explained my situation to the Doctor. He said due to size of the cyst and that I'll need a laparotomy he will be keeping me in 5 nights (not 3 like I was originally told to expect). My Mum has extended her stay to two weeks.

    everyone at the hospital has been fantastic and supportive which has eased my concerns a lot!

    Surgery on monday!

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