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Myself, I did not realise the risks to health when I had my first ever smoke at 11, the only risk then was a tanned backside. It was a common thing for 11/12 year olds at school to be seen at lunchtime outside the heads offfice awaiting a slippering for smoking. Nobody ever said they caused lung problems etc.
Although I had my first smoke at 11, I didnt get hooked untill I was around 15/16. The years went by and I started getting asthma, but copd never crossed my mind, I had never heard of it, untill March 2009, two weeks after my 42nd Birthday.
I did have a spirometry test in December 2005, I was told the numbers were down a bit and that was it, I put i down to asthma. No mention from the hospital about copd, which I must of had then.
So another 4 years past by and still smoking. Then a routine asthma checkup took place in March and thats when I heard the word COPD.
I wasn't told anything about it. I came home with a leaflet and that was that. Started to search it out on google and have become a nervous wreck, who's having to pop happy pills to get through the day (prescribed ones)
I still feel its a death sentence, I'm depressed all the time and I have no interest in anything that I used to do. I still dont think that with the lung function that I have that I can get to 50. (I'm 42)
My Dr tells me he is sure I will make it into my 70s without a problem and that mine is very mild. My mind says though I am 2% off moderate.
It's not that I do not believe him, he is the best dr that anyone could wish for, he's always seen me when I have needed to see him, anytime I have wanted to see him I see him the same day,
The problem is I have brain washed myself by googling copd. It's three months and I still think about it every moment I am awake.
Thing is, I don't realy get out of breath. A little bit at times, a puff of ventolin sorts it. It's the thought that copd is progressive and that its possible that over the next few years I will start to gag for my breath.
This scares the S*** out of me.
On the whole I feel so healthy, but mentaly I am wrecked at the moment.
Had a few bouts of big time tears today. I have moments when I feel as fit as a fiddle. Then my mind says copd and I go to pieces.
I'm awaiting to see a specialist, so I just hope he can put my mind at rest.
As for my spirometry though, that first one in march 51% before ventolin and 61% after, then a month later 52% & 66% then I asked for one more at 2 months, I'de been excercising and also was well off the smokes so I expected it to be higher, but it came out as 52% and 62%.
My Dr says I have a asthma eliment in mine, so I am hoping that thats a good sign.
There are so many of you guys who are so positive, just wish I could be the same. But my head keeps telling me it will not be long untill it feels like I am breathing through a straw, or that I have right sided heart failure starting or that I have to much carbon monoxide staying in me. The list is endless.
There are stories of people who have had copd for 20 - 30 years. So I am trying to get it into my head that it's not always a bad ending.
Just wish I could find someone who was diagnosed at my age, with a simular lung fumction whos say in there late 60s to see how they are doing. But when I try and find that info, all it tells me is dead in ten years.
Look forward to replys
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