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Three Fridays ago, I went for an assessment at a counselling service. To my disappointment, after the assessment, they were not able to supply me with any sort of timings as to when I may be able to access their service. But after begrudging the idea of talking therapy for so long, and my GP's refusal to prescribe me any sort of anti-depressant, I kept an open mind and thought, "Hey, it won't be too long" because it's the only help the GP will current recommend, even if people I had spoke to prior had said that their waiting list can be extensive.
However, three weeks down the line, I'm not experiencing some pretty low periods, even for me. My anxiety flares up at pretty much any thought. I've got every kind of anxiety you could imagine: social anxiety, hypochondria, etc. My moods are just low, I'm pretty much always sad, my head constantly feels heavy and my eyes just want to shut all the time. I'm getting about 3-4 hours of sleep on good nights, 1-2 hours on bad nights and the worst I get no sleep at all. I've just completely lost interest in the one thing that gave me a reason: music. I'll just skip every song on my Spotify playlist and think 'meh' to all of them.
At this point, the only thing that keeps me going is when I think "tomorrow might be the day they contact me" but as each day goes by, that is becoming less and less of a consolation. I don't think GPs understand* that mental health doesn't happen six months down the line, it happens now and asking people to wait six months for any help is pretty disgusting. The least he could do is give me an anti-depressants to keep things at bay while I try and access a talking therapy.
*ok, they do understand in a medical sense, but not in a personal sense
I'm just not sure what to do... should I go back, explain that I've done what he asked and enlisted onto a counselling service, but the help isn't coming at a speed in which I need it and hope he suggests some medication for the meantime?
[Also, just out of curiosity, can depression be idiopathic? My dad keeps pestering me to "explain why" I'm depressed, but I just can't?)
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