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Re-introducing sex post op!!

Posted , 11 users are following.

JoolsB
JoolsB

Hi. I am six weeks post op for a vaginal vault repair and posterior fascial repair. All has gone really well and apart from still getting tired very easily, I seem absolutely fine. My query now is when is it ok to attempt having intercourse? I have had no infection although I still have a slight discharge. Bleeding stopped after first few days. But my surgeon hasn't booked me in for a post -op check up until mid October which is nearly 17 weeks after operation!! Do I need to wait until I see him - how will I know if I am healed enough internally? Help please ladies. 

0 likes, 32 replies

32 Replies

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  • Raesue
    Raesue JoolsB

    Posted

    I would ask for an appointment - mine was at 6 weeks.  Did they say why 17 weeks?  Or you could see your regular ob/gyn I guess.  But the follow up appointment is part of the surgery.  Someone needs to check you for healing, I'd say, before you have intercourse.  Good luck!
  • Over_it
    Over_it JoolsB

    Posted

    I would request an earlier appointment. I had one appointment 2 weeks post-op and my next appointment is 6 weeks post-op.
  • JoolsB
    JoolsB

    Posted

    Thanks for all the helpful advice. Have decided it's best to wait a couple more weeks plus we shall be on holiday then so should be very relaxed. Phoned my surgeon's secretary today to question 17 week wait for check up. She was really nice but told me that "yes, ideally you should be seen 6 to 8 weeks post op but lack of NHS funding means less clinics so I have earliest appointment available". What can you say to that??!? If I had any problems then would have insisted on seeing someone but as it all seems to be going ok I let it pass. I did ask what I should do if I thought things weren't as normal and she said "see your GP".  A man, who although an extremely good doctor, is not a gynae specialist! 
    • Over_it
      Over_it JoolsB

      Posted

      Wow! Hopefully you continue to heal well and don't need to see your GP. They really should give more post-op instructions. I am in the U.S. And didn't get much for instructions...most information I have found on the Internet . I think the whole thing is routine for them so they just don't tell us much. My doctor is a gynecologist, not in a clinic, and I am fortunate to have regular appointments for post-op. I also have a patient portal online where I can ask my doctor questions...very convenient. Have a wonderful holiday and be sure to bring a jar of solid coconut oil for lubrication as others have recommended in above posts!
    • JoolsB
      JoolsB Over_it

      Posted

      Thank you for your lovely reply. I cannot complain about the treatment I received whilst in hospital but this lack of after care isn't good. I think that's why so many of us use this Forum almost in place of medical advice!
    • Over_it
      Over_it JoolsB

      Posted

      I agree. My surgery was done as out patient in an out patient surgical center. The care there was very good, but the stay was very short. I woke up 15 minutes after getting to recovery and I believe I was out of there about an hour later. Was good to be home and my husband took very good care of mesmile
    • JoolsB
      JoolsB Over_it

      Posted

      Goodness and I thought 48 hours was fast!  Plus I had my procedures done under spinal block so no coming round time. My husband has been brilliant too although I have now reached the grumpy stage where I think I should be able to do lots more than he will let me! How on earth women living alone manage I have no idea.
    • mommylove
      mommylove Over_it

      Posted

      You must have had the mesh sling put in no? Using your own tissue I hear is much more evasive and I think requires a day's stay. My vaginal portion of my surgery was no issue, mostly just like having a baby, but the abdominal wall tissue portion is the part that has required a tremendous amount of healing.
    • Raesue
      Raesue Over_it

      Posted

      Trisha, I am also in the US and was not provided much info for after surgery - or for that matter, before.  I was so tired of bowel problems that I was eager for correction.  I also was not given any options other than surgery when I went in for a consultation initially.  I was recently sent a letter from the hospital (two weeks ago - surgery ws 8 months ago) offering to have me be in a study for non-surgical resolution to my rectocele problem.  I was discouraged to read in the letter that this study is a followup to another study that had some success with non-surgical something inserted (can't remember specifics).  They're telling me now, months after surgery?!   If any of you out there are considering surgery, ask for options - even experimental/research options.

      Also ask about the surgeon's success rate, any complications that are likely to develop, etc, so that you can be prepared.  Others can probably think of more specific questions....  Before the procedure, my surgeon just briefly mentioned that sometimes women end up being too tight and "we just go in and loosen things".  I should have asked how often that happens.  He's offered surgery to correct the tightness but the original surgery (rectocele with mesh) was so very painful that I can't imagine any surgery remotely similiar.

      Now here's the conundrum -  Was it worth it considering everything? The surgery did resolve my bowel incontinence - what a relief!!  Guess I'll have to give it a few more months, using the dilator kit, and being thankful for a very patient husband.

      I hope I didn't overwhelm the conversation.  This issue is one thing I think about so often, every day.

    • JoolsB
      JoolsB Raesue

      Posted

      Interested in your experiences. I did have non invasive treatment before opting for surgery and it didn't resolve my problems. I guess if I had started with all the exercises a long time ago then it may have worked but I think my symptoms were too far gone. Hope you decide it was worth it all. 
    • Over_it
      Over_it mommylove

      Posted

      No, I did not have any mesh or sling used in my surgery. I copied & pasted the following from the Internet describing the anterior vaginal wall repair surgery that I had.

      "In most cases, a surgical cut is made through the front wall of your vagina.

      Your bladder is moved back to its normal location.

      Your vagina wall may be folded, or part of it may be cut away.

      Sutures (stitches) are made in the tissue between your vagina and bladder. These will hold the walls of your vagina in the correct position."

      I do not have health insurance, and I am in good health, so my Doctor said he would perform my surgery in the outpatient surgical center to help keep the costs down. 

      Yes, I agree, there seems to be a lot more healing time than I thought there would be. More serious of a surgery than I had believed, but am happy I had it done, just feel like I'm losing the summer, but no way I would have waited till winter!

       

    • Over_it
      Over_it Raesue

      Posted

      Yes, I think about it often everyday also.

      No you didn't overwhelm the conversation...this is one place we can talk about it and everyone understands! Can't believe all the personal things I've shared on here...lol

      Not sure if the other options would have worked for you or not. They didn't work for me. My doctor tried to help me with fitting a couple different pessaries but neither worked, too far gone for kegels to work. Pessaries are best for stage 1 & 2 and uterus intact. I had my uterus removed about 30 years ago when I was in my 20's. My cystocele was stage 3 when diagnosed and was much worse, maybe stage 4 when I had surgery...was definitely part way out. In my mind there was no option as I did not want to live like that, even with a support garment. Much better now, I don't feel like I'm falling out any more or have an "egg" between my legs, lol.

      I may change my mind if things are too tight, but it was like that 30 years ago after my RECTOCELE and it did get better (didn't use any stretchers or anything & I did not have mesh used), so I am hopeful. 

      Trying to concentrate on healing right now. I still use the support garment on tough days or if I'm going to be walking a lot or doing more than usual or have done too much the day before. The extra support while I'm healing feels good on those days.

    • malecai48
      malecai48 Over_it

      Posted

      Hi, I'm having the same surgery as you the anterior repair, in three days..just wondering if this surgery commonly makes you too tight as much as the posterior one seems to? There's a lot of stories on here about painful sex with posterior repair and I know you said it didn't hurt cuz u used coconut oil, but was it much tighter? In my case the two times we had sex after our almost one year old - I hardly felt anything but mortified air would get in etc so I want it put back to normal, and at first my doc agreed and then last appointment she said I "may not even be able to tell" (that she did anything) like im sorry WHAT!? What's the point then what does anterior repair do to your vagina I thought it restored normal anatomy
  • mommylove
    mommylove JoolsB

    Posted

    I still was feeling very sore after an errand each day and if I sneezed or coughed it was very obvious all the layers had not yet healed and mended yet as it was excruciatingly painful. I finally just took three days 4 weeks post op and did absolutely nothing. After this, I finally felt like things were in tact and a cough or sneeze I noticed no longer brought on the same kind of pain. Hope that helps!
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