Reached a point!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

For a couple of weeks I have actualy realised that the job I do (Waitress) is just to physical for me plus I am still having seizures not as many but not medicated yet go to see Nuro soon. I recently went back to work after being sighned off for around 3 months. I had a seizure Thursday night day off Fri so worked out well then I had one the morning before my shift so my husband phoned in for me as I wanted to go in, didnt want to loose money. I am feeling a little fed up today I know its not my fault and I shouldnt feel guilty about letting my family down but between you and me i kind of do I think its natural for me to feel like this. My family want me to give up my job and let my body rest, I am 42 but deep down I know they are right. I enjoy my job just not the after effects. plus my boss has been watching me like a hawk and knows i struggle she is sooo nice, at the same time i understand her concerns about my seizures in the work place. I worry I wont get another job thats easier, nice little shop job would suit me. Oh What to do??????. My Aunt has sugested disabilaty or what ever its called now just for a year so I can sort my body out but is Fibro and seizures even recognised or taken into account I am not sure. Great to get my thoughts out to you all as I know you get it. I know what will be best for me, I do alot of self help and remain positive well up until now ha ha but the thought of not being able to earn scares me a little and if i do leave my job whos to say another employer would take me on questions questions. right got it out my system. Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts. any suggestions or experiences be much appreciated.eek big hugs xxxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Hazel

    I feel for you I really do. Please do not do anything in haste. Take your time and get your GP to sign you off for a while if necessary and seek advice.  The DWP has the following advice:-

    Your employer should not put pressure on you to resign because you have become disabled. Dismissing someone simply because they become disabled is likely to be direct discrimination which is unlawful.

    If you are covered by the Disability Discrimination Act then your employer has a legal duty to make reasonable changes to your work to enable you to carry out your job. These are known as 'reasonable adjustments'. You may be covered by the Act if you have a condition or impairment that causes long-term and substantial difficulties, which impact on your ability to carry out your day to day activities, such as:

    asthma or diabetes

    rheumatoid arthritis or motor neurone disease

    dyslexia or autism

    This list is not the only conditions covered. Access to Work also have some interesting comments and help people with travel amongst other things.

    I am in a similar position but decided to stay put in my job as I know at my age and with my medical conditions I will never find another job. I feel my job is important in that it keeps me moving and gives me a purpose. Employers are not supposed to discriminate but we all know that faced with two applicants, one of which is healthy and another who has issues needing management which one the employer is going to choose.

    It's hard I know but I find it better to do the research find out what you are entitled to and whether it is physically, mentally and financially sound to give up work. You do not want to find yourself stressed out by the consequences of a hasty decision and make yourself even more ill. 

    Sorry I can't be of much help but these are just my thoughts for you and to let you know you are not alone.

    Take care.


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    • Posted

      Thankyou you have helped. I dont want to give up work as i would miss the independant feeling and satisfaction of earning for my family. Spoke to my husband before he said he would worry we couldnt cope but at the same time doesnt want me to suffer. Flipping hard eh!!!!!!. I feel my boss wants me to leave not only for my benefit but hers aswell. I am going to see if my doctor can put me back on meds for seizures as that is the main reason i have found myself in this position. On meds for fibro learning to pace myself. You have helped made me think abit more. Hugs
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  • Posted

    Hi Hazel

    I completely understand where you come from.  After I had my first child I went back to work on a part-time basis. It was an office job for a tour operator company and I worked in the accounts. My pains were getting worse and I decided to take a year out to find out what my body wants too?  Although I signed on at the time. Income wasn't helping.....I was getting more stressed about it but at the same time I was getting harrassed by my inlaws to do all the running around after them.  After about ten months off work, I started to look for another job as I needed to get out. I am still in an office job and still work part-time and have been working for the same company for almost 13 years now.  You do need to listen to your body too and need to try and do what is best for you.  See if you can do a job that is keeping you happy but at the same time you are not stressing over it. It's easy to say this but only you can make that choice.  Health is number one priority to us all. 

    Gentle hugs wink x

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    • Posted

      Hi bee thankyou also for taking the time to reply. Thats what i am stressing about IF i took time out i feel i would stress more about money.i am now as get less wages taking time off. reading replies is making me realise already that i shouldnt just give up my job there are other areas i could work that wouldnt be as physical i will chat to my boss. Just need get seizures under control wouldnt surprise me if my physical pain and mental stress arent helping me. So i will be on the phone at 8am to try and see my doctor , surley he can prescribe me somthing to help before i see nuro. I have Catamenial epilepsy bloody hormones ha ha. Thanks again. hugs xxxxxxx
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  • Posted

    Hi Hazel, I really feel for you with your predicament, but wanted to say, money isn't everything. Please listen to your body, otherwise it will make its own choice and render you incapable.

    i was made to give up work by my company 1998 but to cut a long story short, they ended up paying out my pension on I'll health. That was for back / leg trouble. But to keep me sain I went and worked voluntarily for a few charities, that kept me feeling "worth it" . Although my pension paid out I was 26 when I was retired off and having only had my pension for 10 years it wasn't much of a pot. But we looked at DLA and incapacity benefits and they seemed to be ok to live on but my hubby had a £40k+ job so really we didn't suffer money wise. 

    However, three years ago my hubby, who was working and caring for me 24 hrs a day, had a mini kind of breakdown, he couldn't function, he left money in the cash machine and just walked away from it and seemed to be on auto pilot. My parents asked if he was ok and I mentioned it to my GPs who knew our situation. He was diagnosed with exhaustion and given a month off work. He changed, he was happy, I was happy I didn't need to rely on him so much as i could do things whilst he was supervising me instead of him preparing everything before he went to work. 

    So so we talked about how we would cope losing £3000 a month and him getting carers allowance. At about £60 a week. Ie £240 a month. We decided we'd be mad to try, so he went back to work. Within 2 weeks he came home and said I have to leave work I can not carry on this way- so his health forced him to leave although his work thried to keep him offering him part time ect, I didn't want him to stay, 

    im not saying it was easy, but a change of mortgage, from paying the capital to just interest, taking a motobility car, using my reduction of council tax of 19p a week to join the PDSA for vet bills, and if we hadn't had our own house, loans would have been wiped and we'd have been allowed housing  costs. But we coped, we changed to Aldi, had more time to shop to get the better prices, no big holidays but we could go out into the country side when ever we wanted. 

    Im not staying its a lovely life but despite my pain and disability and having my. Hubby have to wipe my b##, lol we are happy. Money really isn't everything.   

    And just to finish I get DLA which is going over to PIP but if your illness genuinely stops you being able to live a normal life and do normal things or if it's painful to do so, it should be recognised.  Hope it helps you make a decision, but look after you! You'll get no thanks off work if you can't do the job but likewise they have a duty to keep you in a job if at all possible by adjusting to your needs.  Good luck x

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  • Posted

    Woke this morning pain level 10 out of 10 today, guess thats somthing to do with me fretting about how to move forward.Phoned this morning and my Doctor is away so cant talk with him about medication. Head feels fuzzy today and I am tired didnt sleep well because of the pain in my pelvis and knees back ect ect. Look like cra*. Ooooh this is frustrating. I think I am just going to plod along until see Nuro, vicious circle, If I can get meds to control seizures then I can function better in work then I wouldnt stress as much therfore wouldnt be in as much pain hey presto a happy me. On meds for pain Duloxatine and amatriptalene but not hitting the spot today. I dont want to get down but i am stating to feel fed up well P****D off might be a better word. 
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  • Posted

    Gentle Hugs to you Hazel.

    Stay calm and positive and hope you get some sleep too. wink x

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