Ready to toss in the towel....

Posted , 16 users are following.

So, I'm ready to throw myself off a cliff. Had (yet another) doc. appt. today..for an overnight sleep study consult.

I was sure I'd gained some weight ( maybe 10lbs)....cuz my clothes all still fit, but I've definitely developed a Moonface and my upper arms are a bit larger.

I'VE GAINED 47lbs since mud-Aug!!

I feel ugly and HIDEOUS and sooo out of control of my life!

weight gain, emotional basket case, nausea, headaches, upcoming surgery, panic attacks, anxiety, profuse sweating" compression fractures, on and on and on!!

I no longer know what's PMR or prednisone, no longer know up from down....I'm a "hot mess" and don't know what to do any longer.

I'm going to try to get some type of therapy appt tomorrow!

The past 6mo have been life altering for me...I'm not the same person...

My question for anyone on this forum is...did you ever get to the point where you wondered if you'd ever get yourself back again...were you ever, just tired??

0 likes, 21 replies

21 Replies

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  • Posted

    HI Lynda

    I send you Lots of hugs and my wish for you would be that you get a lot better than you are right now, very soon.

    Even though we have all got similar issues, no one has your personal pain nor do they know what you are actually going through.

    The last thing you want to hear is "at least your still alive etc" that is extremely insensitive.

    you need to be heard and to be cared about.

    I have suffered from depression for many years now and its under control, I'm not a doctor but my guess is you are suffering from depression, please go to the doctor and talk to him / her about your feelings not just your pain.

    you have lost yourself for now but you will get better I know you will.

    the weight is a problem but you can do something there.

    I don't know if you like sugar but if you do cut it out for 2 weeks and see how you go.

    Hang in there we are all supporting you .

    Vicki

    • Posted

      thank you Vicki for your VERY sensitive reply! it made me cry...but that's ok, your words were Very compassionate.

      I think you're right...I have kinda lost myself for the time being....the past several months have just overwhelmed me!!

      But, I'll "get it together" sooner or later and 'find' myself once again.

      I need to take my own advice and keep swimming, swimming, swimming🏊.

    • Posted

      Hi lynda62707

      Only just happened on your post. Wow! this site has gone cuckoo...bit like me when i was on pred. I know exactly how you feel! I have gone through some adversity in my life but my pred days takes the biscuit. I didn't know whether i was going to make it, really! i felt i had lost the plot on many occasions. With all the side effects attacking me one after the other i was left weak with no fight left. Then one day i began to fight back. I took the bull by the horns and said right i'm getting of this horrific medication, and i thanked God i did not have GCA or i could not have got off pred as quick as i did. I told my rheumy that i was tapering off them and he said it was ok and to taper by 1mg a month. Even though i was drained, tired and weak mentally and physically i got off them albeit with many setbacks and bumps in the road I MADE IT!..and you can do it to lynda with help and support from rheumy and doctor and the forum. My help came from my rheumy, doctor, family and another forum member not on the forum now. Give yourself time and pace yourself. As previously mentioned by another reply do things you used to enjoy. Keep reminding yourself you will eventually be off pred. I used to visualise myself a year ahead with a normal face and just being myself again. I never thought, when in the middle of all the pred upheaval, that i would be talking and giving advice to another pred patient about getting off pred as i am talking with you now. Believe in yourself, take courage and you will get there.... sending loadsaluv and loving thoughts your way lynda....ciao for now💪👍🤗

  • Posted

    I'm not the same person. I'd like to think I'm a better, more compassionate person but I'm not the one who can judge that. If nothing else, PMR has taught me patience. I learned a lot about how to care for aging bones without using medication. This might not have happened without PMR/pred and I might have ended up with serious osteoporosis because, who knows, maybe my "low bone mass" predated pred?

    • Posted

      and how did you medicate for osteoporosis resistance or improvement, by food , by exercise by what....???

    • Posted

      Sorry to take so long to read your message. The changes to the forum have made it impossible to see what's going on. If you google healthunlocked my osteoporosis journey you will find my account.

      I never took any OP medications and never plan to.

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