Real time recording of codeine in Australia

Hi Ellenbe and everyone else. I'm clean now, I was good by Friday. As I said before my psychiatric illness is very well controlled and I take codeine because it is the only drug I can legally have in my system if I get random drug tested. I take codeine because it is fun and I always cwe, always. I never take nurophen + because cwe is problematic with that tablet and it has less active ingredient than generic panadeine extra. It is such an easy process. I have regular liver tests for my bipolar meds and my liver and kidneys are just fine.

This last 12 months has seen me addicted however and addiction is a drag that forces you to misdirect your energy.

Had a great long weekend and at a subconscious level I think my wife noticed a positive change in me. Happiest I have seen her since I was clean in the new year while we were travelling.

I have an evening alone coming up and I'm going to have a nice big one off then without the tolerance. With real-time it is like chocolate for sensible dieters - just a treat.

Ellenbe as you say does sound like there is some anxiety there that codeine just masks. Do you have private health? Best treatment apart from my meds which don't give any high at all that I have had is from a good psychologist.

Wow Michael, I admire your willpower. I can't have a night off, without slipping back into bad habits. My addiction is such that is all or nothing, so I have to choose nothing.

I've seen a psych in the past and it's something I need to resume for the stability of my mental health.

Take care and we'll talk soon.

Hi ellenbe,

Same here, in such a bad mood at the moment. I didn't sleep at all last night.

Just took some Kava tablets and some Rhodilia Rosea in the hope they will help me sleep.

I feel your pain Wilro. Hopefully a better night tonight and day tomorrow all round.

It's not will power it is age. I have been through raging amphetamine (dexies misdiagnosed as ADHD) addiction almost 20 years ago and spent so much time just dreaming about the next dose. Sometimes I'd see a bit of white paper that fell out if a hole punch and think it was a dexie and get down on my knees only to see it was paper.

It takes a lot of time to overcome these feelings. Let's face it if we could, if we were rock stars we'd take stuff all the time. We are just ordinary folk however and our choices are limited.

You are more than half way there. Could you have imagined even last year how far you have come painful as it is and my god isn't it ghastly.

Hi michael36105,

Can I ask how old you are?

I've been taking various substances most of my adult life which started in my teens.

I didn't drink at all unit my early 30's which then became a problem and eventually ended up using ridiculous amounts of codeine to suppress the desire to drink a D manage back pain and crazy bad headaches that made me vomit to the point of my eyes becoming extremely bloodshot and looking like they were going to pop out. This caused some really weird things like feeling as though I had bursted blood vessels in my head and was so painful they gave methadone and oxycodone in very high doses to manage the pain.

Strangely, I never had a problem or any addiction issues with those opiates. Codeine is the only opiate I seem to have issues with.

I have a very weird metabolism, when I was in hospital for my perforated stomach the doctors and nurses were confused about how much pain relief I was using because at the dosages they had me on (I'm talking about more that 500mg oxycodone), normally people wouldnt tolerate such a high amount over the day but I was completely there mentally, fully awake and talking to them like I hadn't taken anything.

I process drugs differently to most people and am currently undergoing DNA testing to find out why.

When my stomach perforated, no amount of morphine or fentynl did anything, I was I so much agony the staff were yelling at me to stay still because they couldn't examine me probably. They ended up giving me a large amount of ketamine to the point where I KHoled so to speak (look up ketamine usage for this term)

I thought at the time that I had died because the ketamine caused a huge disassociation experience. I remember thinking to myself "IMG, I've just died, I've killed myself with ibuprofen, Oh no, what about my kids" etc, my wife was there the whole time holding my hand (crying) with me asking her "Sweetie, can you hear me? Have I died? Am I still alive. Please Sweetie tell me, have I died?"

It was so strange. When it wore off the pain came back and I couldn't stay still again so they hit me with the ketamine again so they could get me to stay still for a MRI to see where my stomach had ruptured. Shortly after that I guess they took me to surgery.

Even after all that I jumped back on the codeine wagon 2 weeks later which is so stupid.

Now I'm 4 days clear, here's hoping it goes well

That turned out a lot longer than expected. But I guess that's the reason I'm here.

I've been through the worst case scenario of ibuprofen + codeine abuse (short of dying, which people do) and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I really should know better, I consider myself fairly smart, have an above average knowledge of a huge range of pharmaceutical drugs but I played the game for too long and it caught up with me.

I still have a lot to say on the subject but I'm working on another platform (ie, a blog) for that. I'll link to it here when the time comes if anyone's interested.

As always, I hope everyone takes care of themselves and to ellenbe, your courage and dedication to beating this is probably my major motivation at the moment. You should stand proud of your determination and achievements, you will never know how many people it may help. Stay strong, as will I.

Hi Michael, yes it does take such a long time to forget about our DOC. I don't know how long it will take, but given I've been on and off codeine for 20 years, I think it's going to take me a hell of a long time before I learn to function normally without them.

Like you said, I could never have imagined getting this far. I have tried to quit so many times, only to relapse a week or two in every single time.

It still feels really rough, I'm not going to lie. I just need to remember that taking codeine isn't going to make things better.

What is nice is not having that awful constant nagging feeling that I'm doing irreversible damage to my health. I used to have that feeling with every tablet I took (crazy that I still took them regardless).

It sounds like you've had some really difficult times with your addictions in the past. I applaud your honesty. Thanks for trusting us with your personal stories.

Wow Wilro, I googled K holed. What a nightmare, you've really been through hell and back. I think it's a testament to how addiction works. Like you said, even a perforatef stomach didn't stop you from going back.

I literally thought that I could die from N+ and still took them. I was prepared to leave my husband and kids behind for a short lived high.

Thanks for your kind words. I really don't feel strong, I feel completely weak. You know, before I read your last post, I was determined to take codeine just to have a break from this hell, but I am determined to not have any.

Thanks Wilro, you really helped me today. WE WILL DO THIS.

Your 5 days are just about up. Will you go back to codeine or keep going? No judgement, just asking. You have my support regardless.

WilRo I'm 54. I have never suffered physical pain. Used thc without any probs from teens to early 40's. Became a partner in a firm etc... not until my bipolar symptoms started that I got addicted to dex. As I was self medicating. I only take codeine now coz it is the only thing I can get away with as I work in a drug test environment.

Ellenbe,

Stay strong, the mental battle is much harder in the long run than the physical. The physical battle will end soon but the mental one will continue.

We need to find ways to occupy our thoughts and take up free time. My god, I know how bad it sucks but it is time that will heal.

I'm trying to get back to my hobbies which are woodworking and electronics. I used to build such great stuff but I lost it all with my addiction.

Our kids need us too, way more than we realise. I don't want my kids to remember me as an addict or alcoholic. They deserve better from me.

Keep fighting, at all costs

Hi Surfgirl,

Your night sounds like mine. It was so crappy last night, probably only slept for 3 hours in total in 1 hour increments. Hot flushes and sweating following by being so cold because the bed and my pillow was wet with sweat.

Oh well, I'm determined now, I think I'm 6 days off codeine. High doses of loperamide have worked wonders for the toilet episodes to the point of not being an issue.

I'm in the process of writing a letter to the AMA to make a formal complaint against 4 doctors who have been absolutely useless and basically told me to just keep taking Nurofen + for the time being because I've been doing it for years anyway.

My primary doctor who I've been seeing for over a year basically told me he will not treat me after I was completely honest with him about my codeine use. He told me he doesn't believe me because according to him if someone took 30 nurofen + tablets in a day they would die. He's an idiot, I was taking 90 a day for years until I ended up in hospital and my liver and kidneys are still fine.

The crap feelings will end eventually

Wow, 2 weeks!! Awesome work, you've done so well. It's awful at the start, so 2 weeks down is a major accomplishment .

Sometimes I feel like I'm so on edge and that I'm barely hanging in there. Reading everyone's stories had helped me a lot and I take strength from everyone here.

Take care, keep us posted on how you are doing.