Realising my bad habits.

Hi - I'm really sorry to hear about your difficulties, it must be tough. Well done for acknowledging you have a problem, this is the first and hardest step.

The first thing I would do is encourage you to speak to your GP. They will be able to refer to services who can help treat your problem. People often worry about speaking to their GP, and you can find some excellent resources on the Beat website (Beat are the UK's eating disorder charity). It might also be worth giving the Beat helpline a call, they are open every day of the year, from 3pm-10pm and the helpline is free and confidential. If phoning isn't your thing, there is online 1-2-1 chat, twitter support and email support, as well as online support groups. If you are a student, there's actually a dedicated student line too.

I would start tracking what you eat and how you are feeling, as this is the kind of thing you might be asked in an appointment. It is also a good way to identify any patterns that might emerge e.g. does a binge period result from anything particularly stressful, or a particular emotion?

The fact that you're not skinny or overweight isn't important. Whilst there is a fixation by professionals about meeting a certain criteria (they shouldn't be doing this under the new NICE guidelines), people who are a healthy weight but experiencing these systems are just as poorly.

I would encourage you to get a referral to a dietitian as well as some kind of therapy, because it sounds like there are food behaviours that need addressing as well as the "why". 

I'm an expert by my experience of an eating disorder (and many years of treatment) not a qualified health professional, so the advice I'm sharing is based on my own treatment.

I appreciate it's tough, but it's worth starting by having breakfast. Evidence shows that people who eat breakfast maintain a low (healthy) weight, comparative to those who don't. Maybe have a look at some new breakfasts to try. I'm someone who is a very early riser and can't eat really early in the morning, so I've started bringing transportable breakfasts with me to work so I can eat later. There are lots of breakfasts that you can easily transport as well as thermos flasks if you are a porridge fan!

I wouldn't try to introduce big meals straight away. I'd try and get yourself eating regularly again. I used to ignore hunger and restrict, only to end up bingeing. This is because your body needs complex carbs to sustain itself. It's all linked to basic biology and survival. Like oxygen, your body needs energy, and if it is deprived it will seek energy in its most dense form. Now we are surrounded by food (unlike our ancestors) we can easily get the energy and hence bingeing occurs. A restrict - binge pattern will also lead to extreme mood swings, which really doesn't help if you're already feeling rubbish.

As mentioned, none of this is easy and you will want to start understanding a bit more about the "why" this is happening.

Please go and speak to your GP. Here if you want to PM at any point. I've been there and am pretty much recovered now. It's been a long battle, but it's so worth it.

Hi Noct9099 ! 

I am sorry to hear about your problem.. I am going through the exact same thing ! at the age of 16 I lost my self esteem, I though I was fat (even though when I look back I was almost too skinny) so I started skipping meals and stressing over food.. I am 20 now and last year I started having bulimia for a while. I am better now but for 2 months I have totally let myself go and I feel horrible.. I feel like I can't control myself at night, I eat so much of random stuff even though I am not even hungry.. I put on a little bit of weight and I am totally depressed about it. 

I really want to get better to feel more confident and less depressed so message me if you want to talk about your situation, maybe we can help each other out ? 

 

Hi Noct9099, its nothing like you are suffering from mental health problems, you are just concern about your weight that the reason you are behaving like that............or may be you are now addicted with your eating habits, you are always conscious about your weight...try out exercises and meditation to relax your patterns of behavior..really helpful