realized its depression and now I'm scared more than ever

Dont worry about telling your parents, they wont be disappointed. Trust me. They will understand and sympathise, and it will also give them an idea on why your behaviour has changed recently. Just tell them everything that is upsetting you. Sometimes simply talking about it to someone makes you feel so much better. I know how difficult it is to lose someone close to you. Cancer took my Aunt a few weeks ago. But at least she is at peace now, same as your grandma. Time is the best healer. Things will smooth out eventually. I'm going through severe depression myself. I completely sympathise with that lonely feeling. I get it a lot. All the best, Usmaan

Shenaz

Please go to your GP and say what is happenong to you..It is difficult to separate grief from depression but either way your GP should be able to pint you towards support.  It doesn't always mean taking medication but having someone trained to talk to and support you.

20 is a very likely age to experience depression and remember it doesn't have to be a permanent state for everyone who experiences it (1 in 4 will expereince depression at some point in their lives)   Many will recover with the right treatment and support

Hi, Shenaz:  Remember this...it is ok to grieve, and there is not time limit on it.  I lost my fiance' 18 yrs. ago, and both my parents around 12 yrs. ago.  Sometime I wake up feeling so low and all I want to do is call them up and tell them that I'll be over to get a big hug. I realize that they are all out of pain and in a better place, but that still doesn't stop the loneliness and empty void that I feel...If you start feeling guilty about the grieving process, you will get into a deep, dark depression because guilt is one of the symptoms...How about sitting down with your mum and telling her how you feel. I'm sure she will understand, and just talking about your feelings will help.   If you find yourself getting overwhelmed in a few months, it's time to see the doctor about it...It is possible you could have clinical depression like I have had for many years...I hope this helps...God bless...

I am so sorry for your lose, I think everyone just go into auto pilot to start with as there is so many things you have to do and go through. My advice is please just go and talk to your doctor he/she will listen and then decide if its grief or depression it could be half and half of each, they may just put you on a small dose for a short while, hopefully this will help

Shenaz, you have had the courage to write in here, that's a very good start, don't you think? I can understand your concern about telling your parents, but I feel that you really should tell them how you feel. They may not understand at first, it is a very misunderstood illness. Just tell them you need them to understand how you feel, as someone has already said, you don't always have to take medication.