Really bad depression, and recent separation from a partner after 13 years

Posted , 5 users are following.

Em not really sure how to start but here goes. I've for as long as I can remember had some form of depression and it's only been getting worse through the years. 4 year ago I lost my mum to a stroke and I never really came to terms with it. And then this year (march) my now ex partner decided she was moving on without me and of she popped with the children. I don't really know anyone here where I live so no friends or family around I've been going through all this on my own. Day in day out without speaking to a soul. I am trying to stay strong but I am losing the will to live. I am alone in every way possible and feel powerless to stop the rot.

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    I am really sorry to hear that, what you are going through some very hard and not being able to speak to anyone has got to be the worse, have you tried looking at counseling? I know that I started doing that and it helped having someone to talk too. I almost looked forward to our weekly sessions. 
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    • Posted

      Hi Nicole thanks for stopping by. Yeah I've been told I have to wait 6 to 9 months before I can be seen by them. It's such a long time and I am barely holding myself together. I tell myself it'll pass eventually and things will get brighter but when I look around and don't see anyone am like it just isn't

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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear this.  You are entitled to see your children so put some arrangements in place.  I agree that counselling could well help and maybe meds as well.  Then when you are feeling a bit better don't isolate yourself.  Get out and about as much as you can even on your own.   You often get talking to other people and this will help. 

    No one can live without company as we are social being so get yourself some,  even if it's just exchanging a few words with strangers.  It's surprising how much better you will feel after just that.   I know coz when I am lonely I do exactly that.  The worse thing you can do is isolate yourself at home.  

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you for the advice. I do take meds for the depression tho. It's pretty hard to meet people where I live it's so small. I've turned my attention to re decorating my house and using my weight bench to keep me from all the useless crap that's been going through my mind recently. Also got a gym membership so hopefully things will get a bit better.

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    • Posted

      Hi Chris are you on the birth certificate to the children if you are you can literally go and take them and make her go through the courts

      I know this because I literally had the sam probs but I'm not on the both very so I can't

      You can look into this the police can come and ask you to return the children to her but legally they can not make you do so you can tell them it's is your opinion best for the children to stay with you and there's not a damn thing they can do about it do not let her take those kids away from you Chris my ex is going to suffer so much for what she has done to me tegards my child if I were in your position I'd be taking the kids and make her go through court to get any access it happens to us fathers far to bloody much

      Please feel free to seek legal advice on that matter and check with the local police force by the law states until a custodial hearing any one of the two parents can have custody make her pay Chris do it for your self your kids and all the other fathers that can't do it show her what is like to suffer at the hand and actions of someone that once claimed to love her that's my advice

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your advice. Yes I am on the birth certificate and I love my son and can't believe that she told me she loved me for 13yr to now do this to me fair enough we've fallen out and parted but now it seems like I've to suffer and my sons to have no dad. It's clearly something she's comfortable with then down the line it'll be aw fathers who don't stick around are trash and scum of the earth. I always want to be be there for my son but seams like she's giving it am a mother there mine and only mine. It's safe to say I won't be willing to give another women a child so the can run off with him/her and say the child's all hers

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  • Posted

    Hi Christophe53265 - sorry to read of your situation. Loneliness is an unfortunate part of depression. It's a shame you have to wait so long for counselling, it's criminal how such important resources are so underfunded. But on the bright side - you are making a real effort. A project like redecorating the house is a great way to become involved with something you can control, can take pride in, and can stand back and see the results of your efforts. Let that creativity bloom. Same with the weight lifting - exercise is a great way to help fight depression. The gym membership is another positive effort you have made and a great place to cultivate new friendships.

    Many of us feel marooned and invisible. Some cannot deal with people any more, having been hurt, abandoned, wronged. Dome are just fed up. Where ever you fit on that scale, remember you are not alone. We are always here to correspond with. Hang in there, mate.

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    • Posted

      Hi Wayne thank you for your advice. Am now getting that low that I just don't want to be here anymore. I know it's selfish but I can't seem to get any help from anywhere. It's such a long time till that appointment and I really feel like I won't be making it. I tried to reach out to my younger brother today but I've been ignored. This really ain't good not really sure how much longer I can continue like this.

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    • Posted

      Christopher first of all I think you've been really brave coming on to this sight and telling your story, a lot of men try to cope by themselves and drag themselves along with no support.  I'm sorry your feeling like this, so many of us have been in this situation and are still striving to get through every day, minute by minute, second by second.. I think this may sound familiar to you.  But Christopher you know reaching out is good and it's not the end of the world, it feels like it and all the unimaginable thoughts swirling in your head are just that, unimagibable and unachievable because you are not going to harm yourself you have too much to live for. Trust me, honestly you do.  For now if your not seeing your family, that's just for now, and only now.  You must give yourself time to go through the torrent of emotions that are plaguing you and cope, day by day.  It sounds easy but yes you can do it. You only think you can't and that's the frightening thing.  You think no one understands, that your unique but your not, i mean that in the kindest way.  If your doing weights etc that's a positive think, that you are able to do that, that means you can motivate yourself, a huge positive for you.  Now you must go out, a walk or something.  Do you work? 

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    • Posted

      Hi mutley thank you for the advice. And yeah your right about the swirling emotions I don't have a job at the moment. As I've got nerve damage that effects my legs to the point that I have pain in them all the time and also my feet. This is why I've turned to the gym to see If I can strengthen them maybe I could reverse the damage or at the very least have them stronger. I've only been a few times so who knows it's worth a try I guess. It's not seeing my boy that's hurting me to no end I've not seen him since the 6th of April now and I just see it continuing. The ex partner roams around here in the cleaks she once despised apparently yet she can't let my son pop into see me all because she's fallen out with me. She clearly thinks that kids don't need a father in there life and she's all they need. I recall a time when she was chuffed the children had a father around. I just feel that the life is draining from me and wonder for how long I can keep going.

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