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really confused and alone

Posted , 6 users are following.

lisa8311
lisa8311

2 weeks ago my gf of 3 yrs finished with me and told me it was because my moods were so up and down and i had "emotionally drained the life out of her"... i admitted to her that i hadnt been medicating properly because i thought i was ok so cut down on my depkote!! i was diagnosed as Type II shortly after we met and basically told heres your meds get on with it!!! we were planning our wedding and have recently been on holiday too ..... i cant get my head around this at all she says she needs space to breath due to my up and down moods she said her feelings changed towards me but yet she never mentioned it to me !! she wont speak to me and has asked me to leave her alone and is acting like i dont exist........ i dont know what to do , ive been to my doctor and im on my meds im doing everything i can to make this better even by reading up on how living with a person with this condition can be hard ..... she is the best thing thats happened to me and i just cant see a light at the end of the tunnel....... have i lost her for good ....... should i give her space !!! everyone is shocked because we didnt argue and i showed her love always!! she said she cant handle and doesnt deserve the eternal ups and downs and having to monitor my moods she wants to be on her own to be on an even keel that makes me feel so guilty and like a complete burden and its this that hurts me the most..... can someone please help or give me advice xxx

 

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • pistal666
    pistal666 lisa8311

    Posted

    I would give yourself the space to get you together before turning your life around for someone else,
  • selene_81310
    selene_81310 lisa8311

    Posted

    Are you kidding me?

    Stop and have a real good look at things here. If you thought you were "fine" and had not been taking your meds properly, what do you expect?

    One of the first things I was told when I was diagnosed some 15 years ago was that some people who have bp disorder stop taking their meds once they feel level. I decided there and then not to do that.

    Your problem only screams at me that I made a good choice.

    I do not offer empathy - which is what you are after I'm sure- as you brought this on yourself.

    All you can do is get on with your life, and maybe one day she may see this and may see in you once again what she saw in the first place.

    Good luck.

    • lisa8311
      lisa8311 selene_81310

      Posted

      Thank u for your honesty and yes I know now about taking the meds but as I said I had never had any discussions with my doctors after diagnosis they have admitted that they failed to give me follow up appointments , thank u for ur comment
  • karin65289
    karin65289 lisa8311

    Posted

    I am sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds heartbreaking. I think that it's difficult to be introspective when off the meds. The first rule of having bipolar is to take your meds and have regular blood tests if on Lithium.

    It doesn't make your situation any easier but I am going to share mine. I have two adult sons and neither will have anything to do with me outside of sending a photo once in awhile. Both my sons are married and have young daughters, I don't think the situation is going to change.  I do my best to take the meds and keep track of moods online (mood tracker) so that my moods don't affect people. I've been diagnosed for 13 years. I see a pychiarist twice a year to check meds, since I'm on Lithium I have monthly blood tests too.

    I hope you can find some supports in your community for counselling. There are several sites online addressing the problems and concerns of people with bipolar disorder. If you have problems finding them I can send some linkes to you.

    Is it possible if you are willing to take your meds and make changes that your sweetheart will reconsider? Over the years I have lost several good friends and it was only after I was on medication that I realized how difficult I was to be with.  I wish you well and hope you can mend your relationship.

     

    • lisa8311
      lisa8311 karin65289

      Posted

      Thank u for your comment I'm doing everything in my power to get me better for me and u set stand my condition 100% as I said I was diagnosed 2yrs ago and have never had any follow up appointments until now they are gonna reassess my medication
  • jmcg2014
    jmcg2014 lisa8311

    Posted

    As awful as it is,unfortunatly you have to respect the decision of your partner. They are being honest,and living with someone with any such condition for sure isn't easy. It's not pleasant,i feel for you but you can't change your condition,nor what they feel about it
  • Guest
    Guest lisa8311

    Posted

    Sorry for your break-up. 

    Welcome to the club of Bipolar patients going off meds.  Practically everone does it  at some point.  So much so that I think doctors could use it as another diagnostic criterium for a bipolar diagnosis. 

    You're going to have to move on with your life and let go of your fiancée.  As you have learned putting up with a bipolarsufferer off their meds is an ordeal.  And she will be unlikely to come back even if you get stabilized (once bitten, twice shy).

    But, don't blame yourself.  It was not your fault.  You have an illness that often times makes it hard to get along with others (especially when un-medicated), and it was that illness that led to your break-up. 

    Now that you know what going off meds can do (and believe me it could have been a lot worse) use the experience to make a commitment to a life-long need for meds no matter how well you feel. 

    Get stabilized, get on with your life, let go of the past, and look towards the future, and for God's sake, Do Not Ever Go Off Your Meds Again. 

    Good luck

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