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Hi im new to this forum. Ive had anxiety a year now and panic attacks and take beta blockers for them .However I go to a full time dance school and I feel that over the two years it has really caused me to break down. The doctor has told me I now have depression as well as Anxiety and I am taking Diazapam (I think its called) to trial a long with a higher dosage of beta blockers and if it doesnt work in a week she will give me anti-depressants. Basically I feel that being at this college has cause me to have all these problems. At the moment I have been given a week off by the college and doctor to have a break from it all. I have been feeling so down because the teachers are constantly telling us we need to lose weight and how important we look is. Also I felt like a particular teacher was bullying me, she would always make comments to me such as 'Who even are you, why are you here', 'I notice you for all the wrong reasons' and simple things such as she will give everyone a position in a dance and then say to me 'Well your just there arent you, always there'. And it led me to feel so worthless and helpless that I just feel completley rubbish about myself. And to make it worse I have no support with collehge friends I told one I has been signed off with depression and she seems to have told the whole year. Ive started talking to a counsellor and that has helped slightly. I just dont know what to do, whether I should leave college and do something because I feel being obsessed with being a perfect dancer is what is making me ill. Right now I am dreading go back there at the end of the week however I may regret it if I choose to leave Ive wanted to dance since I was little. PLease please any advice would be appreciated, I feel so lost and lonely x
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