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Really need some advice...

Posted , 5 users are following.

Ash1987
Ash1987

I know this is a little long winded but i need to first explain...

So all my life i was a happy go lucky, care free kind of guy, Always first one at a party and always first one to socialise. But three years ago i had a very unexpected congenital heart defect found after a night out where for the next three days i found myself in hospital with a defibrilator being needed, Then being blue lighted to a heart hospital where i had an emergancy heart operation. Needless to say this was the worst week of my life thus far. I recovered fine, Then one year later (Last year) I started having major panic attacks which led me to going to A&E several times having a ton of tests, to then be told im fine! Eventually towards the end of last year the doctors gave me a batch of anti depressants to take, Which i only took for 2 weeks as i was by then terribly paranoid about the side effects. 

I started a new job in january this year which meant me living away from home for this whole year. Things have improved slightly as i tend not to have huge blow out panic attacks anymore but symptoms are still lingering and im so constantly aware of every little thing thats happening to me. For instance i started developing really bad stomach and bowl issues for which ive been to the doctors about several times, Acid, Reflux, Chest pains, Bloating, Gas, Loose stools! But its not just that, Im also constantly aware of my heart beat at all times, During exercise it beats really hard which freaks me out, palpitations reguarly and positional it seems if im laying on my left side. 

Basically im 27 and i feel about 60 now, Ive become really reclusive, Barely going out, afraid to drink or do anything i used to enjoy for fear of having more symptoms. Im always terrified of getting some major disease or something similar and its ruined my life! The once happy lad seems to have been replaced by a depressive, self destroying hypocondriac! I feel terrible for my partner who has been a saint throughout it all, but i feel its taken its toll on our relationship! I just want a normal life again. 

How do i tell whats real and whats anxiety? What do i do? 

Thanks

1 like, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • NickOliver
    NickOliver Ash1987

    Posted

    I am sorry to hear about your problem. Clearly to hear that you had a congenital heart defect was a great blow to you and, obviously it has effected your self-confidence. Have you been offered counselling or to see a psychologist. But you want to keep taking the anti-depressants. You will not be on them for life and you will find that any side-effects are worth having if these symptoms desist.

    What type of work do  you do? I assume that you are managing to continue working despite the symptoms.

    You musst speak to the GP and tell him your fears - if youo don't go and see him he or she will assume that you are better - which you are obviously not.

  • Ash1987
    Ash1987

    Posted

    Yes i was offered counseling, But heres the major ball breaker! As this was all happening last year i happened to get my "Job of a lifetime" I am a robot programmer in the automotitive industry, So great work which has really helped, But is also very stressful! But it also means constantly traveling to new areas, hence i have not had access to a permanent GP! A few months after i started this job at the other side of country i was then phoned to start councelling... Obviously now its kind of difficult! So i feel trapped! Ive been to a local GP here several times but they do not have my medical records so i feel they are not as helpful as they could be! Im constantly worried about myself now and i hate being like this! Im currently taking omeprazole every day for the acid and it seems to have helped a little, But as for the rest of the issues they are still very real and very persistant! 
    • NickOliver
      NickOliver Ash1987

      Posted

      I take it you go home at weekends - could you go and see your home GP on Fri night or Monday morning. Have you aaid that you can't access the counselling because of your job. You can talk to the Samaritans wherever you are and possibly you could attend MIND where you are.

      Another thought that you could try the Depression Alliance where you are. They generally have meetings twice monthly and much of their meeings consistt of users "sharing" with other users. You don't have to be referred and you don't have to be terribly depressed - iyou just have to be like you finding it difficult carrying on your normal life

  • Ash1987
    Ash1987

    Posted

    Yea i go home some weekends, But the doctors are never open on weekends or evenings by the time i get there! Its the time constraints with this job that are doing me in, Working 10-12hr days sometimes! Come home and im just exhausted and go straight to bed! I must admit it would be nice to be able to talk to other people who fully understand the things ive been going through, As i said my partner has been a saint about it all, But i do feel she doesnt really get it sometimes!

     

    • NickOliver
      NickOliver Ash1987

      Posted

      As I say find your local Depression Allaince or look at their website anyway. Go to the Internet and look up organisations in he area where you are working. And by the way we can't treat you on here. And it seems to me that everything I suggest you are putting up reasons why not, whereas look at the possible.
  • Ash1987
    Ash1987

    Posted

    Very well put irwin, What is it you do exactly? and you are right, The real me is quite shy, reserved, and self concious! Im 6'4 and very well built so i guess society expects certain things from such people, Even old ladies seem to cross the street from me sad  But genuinely previously i made my own luck! But the whole heart thing seemed to throw me completely off balance and left me in this circle of dread! "Technically Speaking" The heart condition is effectively cured, Which is good! Ive just had bowl blood tests back today and they are normal! Everything is turning up normal but i just cant help but feel something has been missed! 

    I Will definitely look at them books etc you mentioned mate, Really appriciate you taking the time to reply by the way smile

  • kerry15755
    kerry15755 Ash1987

    Posted

    Hiya how are you feeling or is that a silly question I have a anxiety disorder and it can be a pain in the##### if you want to chat give me a message all the best kezz
  • AndyD
    AndyD Ash1987

    Posted

    I read somewhere that having a major health scare very often induces a period of depression. Not much help to you, as you already know this Ash, but as long as you also know you are not alone in your anxiety, etc.

    Best wishes to you and I hope you find peace soon!

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