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I know this is a little long winded but i need to first explain...
So all my life i was a happy go lucky, care free kind of guy, Always first one at a party and always first one to socialise. But three years ago i had a very unexpected congenital heart defect found after a night out where for the next three days i found myself in hospital with a defibrilator being needed, Then being blue lighted to a heart hospital where i had an emergancy heart operation. Needless to say this was the worst week of my life thus far. I recovered fine, Then one year later (Last year) I started having major panic attacks which led me to going to A&E several times having a ton of tests, to then be told im fine! Eventually towards the end of last year the doctors gave me a batch of anti depressants to take, Which i only took for 2 weeks as i was by then terribly paranoid about the side effects.
I started a new job in january this year which meant me living away from home for this whole year. Things have improved slightly as i tend not to have huge blow out panic attacks anymore but symptoms are still lingering and im so constantly aware of every little thing thats happening to me. For instance i started developing really bad stomach and bowl issues for which ive been to the doctors about several times, Acid, Reflux, Chest pains, Bloating, Gas, Loose stools! But its not just that, Im also constantly aware of my heart beat at all times, During exercise it beats really hard which freaks me out, palpitations reguarly and positional it seems if im laying on my left side.
Basically im 27 and i feel about 60 now, Ive become really reclusive, Barely going out, afraid to drink or do anything i used to enjoy for fear of having more symptoms. Im always terrified of getting some major disease or something similar and its ruined my life! The once happy lad seems to have been replaced by a depressive, self destroying hypocondriac! I feel terrible for my partner who has been a saint throughout it all, but i feel its taken its toll on our relationship! I just want a normal life again.
How do i tell whats real and whats anxiety? What do i do?
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