Really really weird nights.
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Today I had a another one of those 'fun' nights. I am not sleep deprived which I am carefull of but I keep having nights where I have a weird dream next I wake with severe paranoia it goes like this: I see a normal visual glitch caused by the eye. Then my heart starts pumping so fast that I think I am going to pass out. Then the visual glitch starts becoming a simple moving halucinacion. And then I realise that nothing is happening and this is all very weird and then I move to scare it away or smh. This is all very weird I agree but in some dreams it just sends my brain into a weird state of paranoia where the only cure I found was to properly wake up stand up go to the toilet and maybe take a small glass of water and next come back to bed and just chill or look at your phone. Problem is I am not gonna have enough sleep if these nights come more often. Right now its ok I just wake up sooner once a month but I feel its gonna get worse. As for dreams themselves they are about 50% just fever dreams about 20% existential weirdness and the rest is just dreams of something scary. Specifically today I dreamed that I cant wake up and when I woke up in the dream and thought it was over ,someone was trying to pull my outta my bed. I had the sensation that someone was around me. I also had sleep paralysis in my dreams leading me to suspect that I am more frightened of sleep paralysis as a thought not as a thing that happens. The cause I cant figure out but I have found some common aspects. First the air is always very bad. Second I am always in the position where I am looking at the wall faced away from my room. That is everything, the frustration is in that there is not a particular reason that I would fall into madness once every month. Like I am scared of the dark but if this becomes a habbit then I am gonna half sleep the rest of my life. So anyways is this abnormal or is it just that the human psyche is so fragile that sometimes it collapses? Btw I am posting a forum like this because going and finding a proper doctor where I live is pretty hard especially when its covid.
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