Really Struggling
Posted , 6 users are following.
Hello
I am trying so hard to get my anxiety under control but things just seem to keep happening that push me further back. I struggle badly with health anxiety and I've recently had to have a scan for some pelvic pain. They have found a large fibroid but told me not to be worried but I'm terrified and I have convinced myself that I have loads of new symptoms in that area. My family are so tired of me and I really don't blame them. I make their lives and my own just so exhausting and miserable. I sometimes think they would be better off without me. I really don't know what to do anymore.
0 likes, 12 replies
jan34534 lisa215
Edited
One thing I’ve learned from having anxiety since the age of five (now in my 60s) is that it’s very important to have an awareness that anxiety will put negative thoughts and scary thoughts into our mind. But the important thing is being aware that those thoughts are not based on fact or reality. In fact they are not even a part of us and we can let them go. The negative thoughts are only based on emotion which is fear. Fear of the "what if".
I wasted so many years of my life with that kind of thinking and nothing bad ever happened. I can’t get back one of those days. When I finally realized that those thoughts are irrational, my life started getting much better. I did get some counseling for health anxiety and generalized anxiety which helped me to see through all the negativity.
also,
99.9% of everything we worry about actually never happens. As long as we get our yearly physical check up and everything‘s OK, then we need to get on with our life!
you found out that you have a fibroid. That’s nothing to worry about. my mother had a fibroid the size of a grapefruit and it was removed and she was fine. Those are not cancerous.
When you say you convinced yourself that something further is wrong, that’s not based on any tests or facts. once again, it’s only based on fear. It’s important to just go with the facts not the emotions. convincing yourself of something does not make it true.
our thoughts can make the difference of living a joyful fulfilled life or living a miserable fearful life. Please don’t do that to yourself. It’s so not worth it! Feel free to private message me anytime. I’ve been through all of those and now I wake up in the morning thinking of everything that I am grateful for and I enjoy the present moment instead of letting it slip away by negative fearful thoughts. If you need help please get some counseling because you can learn how to manage all of this. Take care
michael100902 jan34534
Edited
What incredibly sound advice from someone with so much life experience... I'll take that on board myself.
lisa215 jan34534
Posted
Thank you so much Jan. I will hold on to your very sensible and kind words. Thank you xx
Gina4004 lisa215
Posted
I also suffer from health anxiety and you're not alone, I feel your pain so much. Despite negative tests, I still manage to think I have something more serious. My family think I'm overreacting and I probably am but they don't really understand my anxiety.
Having health anxiety honestly sucks and its really hard to deal with when you can't control the thoughts going through your head.
Ive never met your family but I'm sure they care about you, they just don't understand what you're going through. Anxiety and mental health disorders are hard to deal with because no one knows whats going through your head except for you.
Have you tried counselling or medication?
Gina
lisa215 Gina4004
Posted
Hello Gina
Thank you so much for replying. I'm currently having counselling but I'm just not really getting much out of it. I had a very mad reaction to anti depressants so I'm currently not on any medication. I hate my life so much. I'm 52 and I feel like I've been like this forever. I have to care for my elderly Mum, my daughter lives near by but she has her own life. My brother and sister don't really care about me and they aren't bothered how I am as long as I'm caring for our Mum so they don't have to. My partner left me a few years ago because of how I am. I've never felt so low.
Alex121-42444 lisa215
Posted
Please don't be put off by medication. My wife had Anxiety and depression for a long time and before seeing a Psychiatrist, the first GP medication was a disaster and she needed to be taken of that first one gradually. However, after trying a few more, she eventually got it right with the psychiatrist with Venlafaxine and Risperidone and for 10 years on that if was wonderfully controlled. Only in the last few months, as a result of a bad operation to remove a growth that damaged a nerve and left her with little use of her left hand, has the anxiety and depression returned. Increased dosage is helping a little but an appointment has now been made to see another psychiatrist, which may get the balance right again. medication does help, but some can initially make things worse and a correct balance needs to be found, so keep trying, it does work.
Gina4004 lisa215
Edited
hi Lisa
Im really sorry to hear what you've been going through and I don't blame you for feeling that way.
Your siblings sound really selfish toward both you and your mum, they should also be responsible for taking care of your mum.
Even though the people around you arent supportive you really are not alone, in fact you've got a friend in me now.
I can give some advice but its easier said than done like with a lot things.
You should definitely go back to your GP and counsellor and tell them how you're feeling and the current approach isn't working.
But in terms of self-care, don't forget to treat yourself, even small things matter, even if it cheers you up for only a little while.
Remember to try and eat proper meals and to sleep regularly. And to exercise too even if its for a short while everyday.
Make yourself small easy goals each day.
Do you have any hobbies? Try things to distract yourself but again this is all easier said than done.
If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here and I'll try to reply as soon as possible
Gina
lisa215 Gina4004
Edited
Thank you so much Gina.
Anxiety is such a lonely condition, it takes so much every day and leaves us with so little.
I use to read all the time but neither find the time or have the energy to even pick up a book lately. I work a full time job as well so I don't really get any time for myself anymore. I use to take such pride in my appearance but I don't bother at all anymore.
Gina4004 lisa215
Posted
Hi Lisa,
How are you doing?
I totally get not having the energy to do anything, when my anxiety is at its highest all i want to do is hide under the covers and sleep.
But I think that the fact that you still manage a full time job is a good sign and use some of the motivation to do your job for yourself.
Like I said make small goals for yourself, even if its half an hour in the day picture up a book to read, you really to set aside time for yourself. There's also apps you can download that could maybe help you.
Hope you are doing well
gina
lisa215 Gina4004
Posted
Hello Gina
I'm having quite a hard time with the anxiety at the moment. I have a hospital appointment tomorrow to discuss a scan I've had on my pelvis and I'm so worried. I've convinced myself that it's going to be terrible news. My GP said that I may possibly need a hysterectomy but because I'm my mothers carer, the recovery period of 6 weeks would be impossible for me because of my responsibilities to her. I'm in a complete daze at the moment, things have never felt so bad. Thank you for your message, I hope you are doing OK.
Alex121-42444 lisa215
Posted
The anxiety my wife (80 and usually fit) has had for many years has been well catered for by Risperidone and Venlafaxine and not been a great problem for a long time. However, due to an operation for removal of what was disgnosed as a lymph node, but turned out to be a Schwannoma Tumor left her with partial loss of her left hand use, which she feels will never recover . She cannot fully dress, wash or dive her car, nor cook or do the things she could with full use of both hands.
This has caused far more stress and as such she is highly strung out, cannot t bear to be alone at any time and despite a small increase in the Risperidone to try and sleep, it has very little improvement. The Venlafaxine was increased slightly but this is longer term and does not seem to be helping.
We are due to see the doctor again, hopefully for a further increase in medications.
Does anyone please have experience of increased dosage of these drugs, by how much and what results over what time.
Many thanks
Alex121-42444 lisa215
Posted
Seems a long time to get a reply, but perhaps I am expecting too much. I have managed to find a Psychiatrist in Sutton Coldfield and have an appointment for my wife. Hopefully he can help, but it has taken several days to sort through the Web sites and so hard to find people in this profession.