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Really struggling to cope with depression and anxiety

Posted , 8 users are following.

rocky1990
rocky1990

Hi 

never done anything like this before so here goes....

i am a 24 year old girl. I have previously been medicated for depression with duloxetine. Recently my depression has came back but a lot worse. I am struggling every day to cope with general things. It is having a bad effect on my relationship as I am constantly doubting my partner. At work I struggle to concentrate as I am just always in my head. Recently I have been back on duloxetine which wasn't helping this time so I have been swapped to fluoxetine in the past few days. I feel horrendous right now, my anxiety levels are through the roof, i feel like every one hates me :-( . I am having horrible dreams at night which are so vivid they almost seem real. There just seems to be no end to this horrible dark spell. I am waiting to be referred to speak to a councillor and don't know how long this will take but at the moment I really can't see it through till the next day. Can someone please help I genuinely feel that no one understands, my boyfriend doesn't really no how hard it is and for as much as I've tried to explain I don't think he understands depression.  I'm only young and I know this isn't the real me and I just want to be me again :-( 

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • ian88610
    ian88610 rocky1990

    Posted

    Hi Rocky, when depression hits you hard you feel like you are alone, isolated, and just not YOU, these feelings will pass but it does take time and effort, I have been through it before in 2006 and going through it again now, REMEMBER you are not alone, lots of people are going through exactly the same thing as you and help is out there you don't have to go through it alone, try to find a group session near you if you are in the UK? they are helpful as the people in them are going through the same thing, you don't have to talk unless you are comfortable doing so, seek a meditaion class to calm you down and help with sleep and concentration, excercise is also good go for a long walk with your boyfriend you don't have to talk about your depression (unless you both want to), this also helps keep your anxiety levels down, I hope any of this helps.
    • rocky1990
      rocky1990 ian88610

      Posted

      I've realised that talking to family and my partner isn't really helping. My mum presumes on a good day that everything's better and I'm fixed then when things get bad again she seems to get mad as if oh this again. Ano the only want the best for me and for me to be better but it's as if she expects me to just have this shake it off approach and everything will be fine. 

      Its strange because I have spells where I feel like myself again and very chirpy and cheery but then the dark spells kick in again and everything is just grey again.  

      Its like I'm on my own roller coaster (minus the fun of it)

  • richard89308
    richard89308 rocky1990

    Posted

    They say that mental illness is a hidden illness.  It is hard to express it so you made a start by coming onto this forum. Depression is really hard because others feel isolated due to the depressives behaviour.  Keep trying with your boyfriend and don't give up on yourself.  Youd be surprised how many people know someone who has experienced some form of mental illness. It's very common.

    Richard

  • ian88610
    ian88610 rocky1990

    Posted

    Hey Rocky, you say you have days where you feel like yourself, this is a very positive thing, look back at your good days and try to think what may have sparked this off, did you wake up to a beautiful sunny day and the world was fine again, sounds silly but little things can make a big difference, it could of been soemthing someone said which made you feel good about yourself, keep a journal and write in it on both your good and bad days, be truthful in it no-one is going to read it but you, it helps to get the thoughts out of your head and onto paper, don't correct any spellings or cross things out, just write from your heart, you will look back at it one day and think "was that me" trust me i have done it.

     

  • Pctom
    Pctom rocky1990

    Posted

    I  can relate 2 u don't think my partner is sometimes aware of how difficult havein bad spells can b I feel so guilty that Iam ruining my girlfriends life! Then I always think about really ending it all, honestly I know this sounds extreme 2 sum folks, and iam sorry for that, Iam trapped in a spiral of sum good spells but always bad outweighs good, Iam scared 2 take antidepressants my mum takes sum snd doc has said 2 her she'll b on them  forever she's only 58, my mum tried 2 come off them 1 time and was acting bizarre, her and I have never got on but this 1 time she was full of very nice compliments then she told me she tried 2 cum off them and now she can't wow that's hard 2 swallow for me! So she's bk 2 her normal ways of minimal contact but I don't care really, I would rather try a herbal method or sum thing similar, for the sake of my relationship really I spose cause I love my girlfriend but I think she puts up a brave face cause all I talk about with her is how I thought about killing myself today, it's cracking me up I want 2 know what feelin happy feels like, am I being unrealistic?? Sorry for goin on a bit.
    • rocky1990
      rocky1990 Pctom

      Posted

      Think you need to do the same as what I'm going to do and go speak to someone else who is out with your circle. 

      Its tough but means that your getting all your problems out in the open to someone then venting them so that when your with your girlfriend you can maybe discuss normal things as you've already managed to get stuff of your chest prior to that. 

      That's what I'm trying to do just now. 

  • leslie87542
    leslie87542 rocky1990

    Posted

    I've been suffering from depression for nearly five years now and I've been keeping it hidden from everyone even my wife she knows now but it's too late I've pushed her too far with the ways I've been treating her she thinks I never listen to her .I'm not happy with her I'm angry all the time I can't make decisions I do things and can't explain why I did it. Now she has left me forget about for in sickness and in health I've hit rock bottom to the point I'm lying here with a bottle of rum and quite a few boxes of tablets in front of me if only my wife would understand

    • joel49760
      joel49760 leslie87542

      Posted

      I'm new to this but from what you've wrote I'm concerned about your well being. If you need a face to speak to please message me as your not alone. I've been battling depression for years. I have a family also and can relate to how you feel. Keep pushing through. Hope to hear how you are. Thanks

  • leslie87542
    leslie87542 rocky1990

    Posted

    Thanks for your concern i take each day as it comes i have my good days and my really tough days just got to keep battling I guess
  • belinda38019
    belinda38019 rocky1990

    Posted

    Thanks for sharing, I too suffer from anxiety. Sometimes it get so bad I can't sleep, my legs feel so heavy I don't want to walk, my stomach gets upset, I'm twice your age and I completely understand how you feel. I pray a lot and I talk to my husband when it seems to be out of control.

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