Really struggling today

Posted , 7 users are following.

I am struggling today. Last night i attended an exercise class that i haven't bèen to in a while. The person taking it, i thought of as a friend, a support. Sadly this was not the case. When i was really bad it got too much for her and she now won't talk to me or anything. I understand that, I have been so much better as i am working through issues i have. I thought i could handle it but i can't. I have no friends that i trust to talk to. My therapist says don't hide your feelings. Don't shut anyone out, but how can i open up when the fear of overwhelming someone else is too great. I am back to hiding and pretending everything is fine.

1 like, 16 replies

Report / Delete

16 Replies

  • Posted

    As simple as it sounds if she wasn't there at your worst and she doesn't deserve your best. You were on the road to recovery and you need people around you that are there for good or bad. Just be that the friend to others that you want and it will be returned. I know it doesn't help right now but it will. There will be a light and there will be a sunny day. I'm struggling too

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      The confusing part is that she was there at first and we talked alot and i trusted her. She had gone through this aswell so she understood what i was going through which helped me alot. I don't blame her, never will. But she encouraged me to open up and then backed off. My therapist said i may have come across as needy and she might not have been able to deal with that. All i want is one friend whom i can talk openly with without worrying about what will happen. I feel so alone just now that i feel it would be better to just leave home and let them get on with their own lives without me to bring them down.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi

    ​Try not  to feel hurt. I know itt is hard when a friend lets you down but some people are unable to be supportive when it comes down to certain issues.

    ​Be assured that you are not alone, there are other people who  you can open up to who will nnot be judgmental or unsuportive.

    ​Have you ever  considered ringing the The Samaritans. Freephone number is 0116 1234. It is completely confidential. You can ring as often as you wsh to as well.

    That way you will not fear the thought of a bad reaction.

     

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I understand where you are coming from. I would ring the samaritans on their freephone number which is 0116 1234 and you have an instant source of communication and support. They are completely confidential , non judgemental and very suportive. They are there for us all when we feel anxious , depressed just to talk through our feelings.

      This extra support will also have a lknock on effect of taking the pressure off both you and your family. I am unsure as to whether or not you wish o tell your husband but if you do not wish to the Samaritans understand those issues as well.

      Take care. You can always hang up if you change your mind when you ring. That is okay as well.

       

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Julie, I can relate so much to you. I also do not have friends and I also have been burdened with overwhelming others with my own insecuriteis. It is not that you do not deserve friends, it is that some people simply just cannot relate. Perhaps they are overwhelmed with their own issues and have no energy for anyone else, or maybe they just dont want to care. Thats ok. We should'nt condemn or blame them for not being able, or wanting to understand. I feel so alome sometimes that I'm certain death would be better, but it wont. In my opinion, we are faced with these challenges to grow in spirituallity. Please do not get it confused with religion. Life is about experience and we are all handed a variety of moments to explore. How we react to them is entirely up to us. If one way of doing things is not working, try another, and then another if neccessary. My heart is with you in your time of turmoil. I radiate thoughts of comapassion and warmth that I hope you choose to recieve. Believe that you are here for a reason and that the trillions of cells that help make up who you are, love you also. Be strong and confident, the right people will come your way..... and stay <3 

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I am so glad you understand. What you said makes sense. I am trying to get better. Going to therapy taking my meds. But sometimes you just need to talk to someone face to face. And i don't have that which hurts big time.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Sadly so many of us have that friend , first few months of 2015 - last year i was there for a friend ( she had a work colleague who put in a complaint about her at her work so i was there along her side - accompanying her to job interviews , Occupational Health app , CAB app, etc , etc ) despite not being in great health myself , she told me after she started a new job ( which she quit after a few weeks as she said it was too far to travel - she knew how long it took as we did that journey enough to the place an other job interviews in that area ) that we would still go for shopping outings every other week ( we had been doing a few prior ) - they never happened but my health took a turn for the worse in August last year an my depression got worse because of it but that friend was not there for me , early this year she turned to me again for my help ( wanted me to take in one of her cats a stray she had taken in few years back as it wasn't getting on with her pair of cats - brother & sister wink but i wasn't forthcoming , i decided to step back as it was clear that she wanted me to take him in but i wouldn't because of my own cat who i have had for 12 years an living in flat ( with enclosed safe outside area ) an i put my own cat first , she dropped me as a friend , i was disgusted as it was like a slap in the face for all that i had done for her despite being so unwell myself but then i found a sense of relief because she had often put me down , belittled me when my depression took a overnight stay in hospital , wasn't there in a supportive way which a friend should be , i now call her Fake Friend - someone who uses you for her own selfish need but doesn't care when you are in need , i have passed her on the odd occasion when i have been out but felt nothing . It is hard when you get a uncaring friend as it can make it harder to trust those who are still your friend , i have stepped back an though will help friends i will not be so forthwith - just a little . I hope you find your pathway to recovery like i hope we all eventually - it will take time xx

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      That friend took advantage of you. You sound like a very caring person. I keep getting told you are such a happy person you don't let anything get to you... you want everyone to like you... not everyone, just want a friend to talk to.. to go for coffee, to go shopping. Not all the time just now and then. There is another woman but the problem is she is friends with the other woman and i don't want her in the middle . Sometimes i ferl i am putting on an act so she wont see the turmoil in my eyes. I sound like a needy teenager. This is why i am staying out of everyones way. Easier for all involved.

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Having these issues we struggle with can be hard on the people around us. Sometimes I frustrate the people in my circle. They don't understand what the problems are that I fear so badly, because to them, they jus say shake it off. It is only because they do not understand. However, despite your struggles and their frustrations due to the inability to help, if someone can shut you out that much, then they were not a true friend to begin with. You will meet someone new. Trust me, I have been there done that with friends. Some people can really suck!! Someone will come along who will truly be there for you and love you uncondtionally. <3 Here if you need to talk. 

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Julie,

    I feel for you. It's not nice when that happens but unfortunately some people run the other way when confronted with people with anxiety. I don't know why but one things for sure, they obviously also hav issues and can't be counted on. Try to think of it as one more person you can cross off ur nxt yrs Xmas card list.

    Also unfortunately in life people with anxiety can be targeted as a problem, whereas the problem actually lies in the inability of people to help each other no matter what . I think if people in general were more compassionate there wud be less anxious people out there, but obviously this is no quick fix.

    Phil, fellow anxiety sufferer

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thanks phil and yes i think that may be the case. One less gift to buy. Tbh i think she was trying to help then got overwhelmed with it all. Just think people are scared of it and dint know how to deal with it. X
      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    When you see your therapist explain what has happened, it may be an idea to change you PE person for someone else if you feel the loss of that trust.

    It is important that you can manage to express your fears and concerns, sometime our conditions can be overwhelming and sometimes it may be the the  PE person has issues of her own

    Keep a hold

    BOB

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Thanks Bob i have changed my PE person. And i have another appt with therapist after new year. I have been keepung a journal so i dont forget anything. Thank you i see you leave positive comments for alot of people. that helps alot X
      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up