Reassurance from those who have made it through

thankyou so much for your response. Did you feel really tired at the beginning? I feel like I could sleep for 100 years!

I'm opposite. I couldn't sleep for the first 2 months of being on zoloft.

im on 137.5 i tried to go to 150 it was to much for me extremely depressed extreme anxiety wierd thoughts feeling like a zombie

There were days I slept for 18 hours in the beginning.

hi gigity im on day 13 of an increase to 200 from 150mg and feel terrible! how long does it usually take to level out? my anxiety levels are through the roof since increasing my head feels like its going 100 miles an hour!

thankyou so much Robin x

Did anyone feel like they werent in their own body?

hi lovely! some people go through lots of side effects in the initial first 12 weeks and then again upon each increase, slowly but surely youl see minor improvements as each day passes! x

dont give up! its an absolute living hell at first i agree but please stick at it! do what you have to do to get through it whether thats speaking to others on here or sleeping through it you WILL get there! day 5 is really early try and write a list of things you can do to get through whilst it levels out!

i just feel like im never going to feel normal again, for some reason my brain is focussing on blinking and im convinced il be foccusing on blinking forever my brain is just messed up , any reasurrance would be really appreciated

its like your focusing and its an obsessive thought, when we have anxiety etc its harder for us to leave any thoughts we tend to focus more on them and worry which then spurrs them on even more, its so hard to do as i have intrusive thoughts but what my psychologist said to do is dont fight thinking about it and dont focus just try and let the idea of it sit with you, very hard to do but with practice it works, even saying it out loud im not going to think about blinking forever, thats fine that my brain wants to think that way but i know its not going to happen, and repeat in your mind that its okay if your brain wants to think that way temporarily that way you arent feeding into the anxiety thoughts i hope that makes sense!

yea kind of does, i just want to know that i wont be stuck thinking of this for the rest of my life, honestly im in a complete mess im moving into my first place soon and all this going on at the same time i just want to know itl pass i cant stand this feeling, do these pills even work for anxiety/repetitive thoughts? thanks for your time

it doesnt seem like it now but no you wont be like this forever, a common side effect at the start is worsened thoughts and anxiety, it will pass but what i cant tell you is when extactly it could be 2 weeks 6 weeks etc everyone is different but you wont be like it forever! zoloft/sertraline is one of the better ones for anxiety thats what i am on it for, i was on prozac/fluoxetine but that didnt help me, ive found we have to change our way of thinking to help ourselves along side the tablets 😃

yea i agree, but in your opinion they definately work? i just want to stop thinking so much it gives me the worst anxiety snd feels never ending if you know what i mean?

james if only we had a switch in our brains that we could just turn off for a while our worlds would be perfect but unfortunately we do not and we cannot, so we have to do the next best thing take medication, work through all the impossible things it gives to us at the start and wait, wait, wait for the day it starts to work. in the minutes,hours, days and weeks that are the interim period we have to help our thoughts realize that they cannot control us, as chelsea said let them be, if your thoughts want you to think about your blinking then think about, think how many times you can blink in a minute, think how many different ways you can blink, think how long you can go without blinking, once your mind gets the message that you are in control of this thought not the other way round it will get bored and stop. Thought side effects as with so many others last about 2 weeks and will probably change from day to day, this medication does work very well for anxiety once you have found your correct dose, do not be in a hurry to increase let it settle first then take it from there, you are going to be ok, you are going to be back to normal, maybe not tomorrow but soon have faith and try and be patient

i agree with sue! they definately are a good medication though so dont panic i know easier said than done! please keep us up to date on your progress 😃 i bet this time next week or the week after you feel different to now, maybe not hugely but time is a healer!

thank you for this message, im just looking for reasurance that sertraline helps with these silly thoughts. i was anxious before this blinking thing and i feel like my brain is just looking for something to focus on and now everytime i think of thinking of blinking forever i get mad anxiety and i just feel like its permanant. i know how ridiculous it sounds. im convinced that even when my anxiety goes that il forever be concious of my blinking, crazy isnt it?

i hope so as right now i feel like my brain is 'stuck' thanks for the reply

The first 4 weeks of being on sertraline, I slept 3-4 hours on average every day. I thought it was never going to work. But I waited and waited and after about 6 weeks i could start thinking straight and communicate with other (My family members) properly, bare in mind that this was during my final year of Uni.

I would also recommend eating healthy during this period to help you. I ate alot of avocados, bananas and salmon fish (this is the best for anxiety and depression related) they all helps you keep the right chemical balance in your brain. I noticed it really helped me get through the tough period.

God bless and don't give up

hey james i have something simular happening to me. Not about blinking but about the fact that im thinking about the fact im thinking. Its as if i cant have a normal thought without suddenly realising it isnt about anxiety( ir the fact that i have it) and thus the cycle continues. its hard to explain but its like ive become hyperaware of my own hyperawarness and thus my train of thought is perpetually interrupted by the aknowledgment that im thinking. Is utterly maddening and i too get panicky thinking this will bever end and my normal thought process will never return

Hi Oisin

I have exactly the same problem as you. I am constantly aware of my mind which basically makes me constantly aware of the state I am in. It makes me feel disconnected from life as I'm not living 'in the moment'.

If you haven't done so already google Dr. Claire Weekes and 'inward thinking'. She perfectly describes this but explains that it is just a habit caused by a tired mind. Once your anxiety subsides your thoughts will gradually turn outwards and you will stop being aware of them.

I can personally vouch for this as when I first experienced anxiety I developed this habit but once I got better on Paroxetine the habit stopped.

In the meantime, try not to fear it; tell your mind to actively keep thinking about it and realise that its just a habit. Your fear of it is what keeps it going and if you can tell yourself there's nothing to worry about you will gradually forget about it. It's easier said than done admittedly, but please know that you wont be stuck like it forever.

Sam x

samantha do you think that the same applies to my thinking about blinking? its honestly like a trap and i cant see how il ever be able to not think of it. i just cant see a way out it sickens me 😦

Hey Samatha

It just seems so impossible. I mean its quite literally all I think about. I do mean all the time. I havent had a normal unrelated thought now for almost 2 months and it just seems like ill never get better. Like ive opened this gate where Ive become hyperaware but also like im hyperaware of my own hyperawareness. How is it even possible to just suddenly forget about something that is there constantly. 24/7. I can't even read a book, watch tv, have a conversation without my thoughts reverting inwards. Its not even the thoughts themselves (Im not distracted im still thinking about the fact that I'm thinking ill never be able to get over this hyperawareness) its the fact that they seem to be right. And i also fear that the very fact I've thought this is permanant is going to make it so. I mean now that ive become unale to stop even fro a second compulsivly checking if the awarness is there it ensures that it never leaves. Was it as omnipresent for you and if so how did you get out of it. Did you just suddenly realise that youd somehow had a normal thought process? I mean if i could even get 5 minutes without this hyperawarness that would be fine becasue then I would be satisfied that it is not permant and then be able to accept it for the time being. I've just been stuck in this thought cycle for so long approximitly 1 and a half months that I cant even remeber what its like to not have this here.

please private message me id like to talk to you

Oisin and James, and all those who have replied - although I've never personally experienced this, I did witness it in my grown daughter (age 25 at the time, 26 now) who fought this insidious disease of depression and we cared for her throughout it - and I can tell you it is typical. She too was unable to quiet her mind enough to watch TV, do a puzzle, or concentrate on anything other than sit and stare into space with her mind racing. And the first weeks on zoloft (sertraline) were, like others have said, absolute hell. She plunged down further and we, her parents, were terrified. BUT, as she stayed on zoloft (sertraline), gradually, she began to have better days. It does take time and it is like a roller coaster. Around the 6-8 week mark you may have one day when you feel more energized and able to do something or see a friend. But then the next day you may feel low again. The improvements are very s l o o o o w and subtle and sometimes you yourself (because you are not fully healed) are not even aware of the subtle improvements. But they will come. Believe it. My daughter did not believe it because she couldn't really see it until she was almost completely out of her depression - but she was eventually fully healed. Stick with the medication, find a therapist if you can, and BELIEVE that you are going to be healed because you are. This is not the way you feel always. Depression and anxiety are like having the flu - you feel awful, but you know you won't always feel this way. Mental health is no different. Believe what those who have been through it, on this thread, are saying and try to get through it. Remember that what you are experiencing is normal for this situation. Give the meds time to work and as others have said do not be afraid of increasing your dosage. My daughter's "magic dose" was 150. She has now weaned off and is doing great. Blessings to you - remember: you're not alone. xoxo

such a nice post thankyou, i feel as though 50mg may be too low for me. my brain just cannot understand at all how an antidepressant can stop me always thinking about the blinking, its crazy i know. what were your daughters repetitive thoughts if you dont mind me asking?

Hi James

Yes, its exactly the same principle. Your mind is looking for something to associate your anxiety with and in your case has latched on to the act of blinking.

I went through a phase of constantly thinking about my breathing but it passed. I, like you, was worried it would never stop but I read that the thing to do was to encourage my mind to keep thinking about it. Once your mind realises the thought is nothing to be afraid of it will stop thinking it.

Thinking inwardly does become a habit, and one that can seem impossible to break but please be assured there is nothing permanently changed in your mind and you can and will overcome it. When you get better your mind will gradually start thinking of normal things and you will start to forget about the blinking.

For me it is one of the worst aspects of anxiety, as being constantly stuck in your mind makes normal life feel out of reach. But it isn't. It is still there waiting for you and when your anxiety is better your mind will return to normal

Hang in there James, you will get there

x

Hi Oisin

I have exactly the same thing atm, and like you yes, it is there ALL the time. It is something that always happens to me when I am suffering with anxiety. I have the added habit, when in conversation with anyone, of telling myself normal life is wierd and unreal.

I am here to tell you that I had this VERY badly when I 1st experienced anxiety, and because none of the antidepressants worked that I was put on, it went on for a very long time. But once I found an antidepressant that worked for me, and my anxiety went away, my mind gradually went back to normal. And stayed that way for 15 years!

The worst thing you can do is focus all your attention on it. Believe me, I know how hard that is as your mind will continue to keep thinking it but you need to try and live normally alongside it. See it for what it is; a habit, admittedly one that feels unpleasant, born of a tired, stressed mind.

Your mind is waiting to revert back to normal and this will happen when you get better. It may not happen straight away, but gradually over time your thoughts will turn outwards again, and you will lose the habit.

Take heart that you're not alone and thousands of people have or are experiencing the same thing but they have come through it, and so will you (and me 😉).

x

thank you for this, i wake up every morning and just try to sleep through the day so i dont have to think about it. its so sad i keep thinking to the future and getting upset because im telling myself my life wont ever be the same. really hoping sertraline can help me 😦

I know its all ultimitly relative seeing as how what works for you wont work for me but I still feel compelled to inquire if you ever triend sertiline or quetiapine, im just starting my first day on both, and if not what worked

I haven't been on Sertraline before now; I started on 50mgs in April and have titrated up to 200mgs. I've had good periods but am currently going through a bad spell, where my anxiety has come back and my awareness of my mind is really bad.

The 1st antidepressant to work for me was Seroxat (Paroxetine) which completely got rid of my anxiety for 9 years. When that stopped working I switched to Escitalopram which also worked brilliantly until last October, when that too stopped working.

Sertraline seems alot different to them in that its alot slower acting. For me Seroxat kicked in after about 6 weeks and then I literally woke up one morning and the anxiety had gone. Also, alot of people on this forum advise that it takes a while for doses to settle, and therefore it's not a good idea to titrate too quickly. I think this may well be what I have I was doing well on 150 but have gone downhill on 200 however I'm giving it more time as I've been on this dose for 18 days and understand it can take at least 4 weeks.

I think she just kept obsessing over the fact that she was depressed and felt there was no hope, her mind couldn't get off that . It's the only place her brain went 24/7.