Recovered Chronic Anxiety Sufferer

Hi There I have panic disorder and GAD. As a child I was fairly hyperactive but I grew up in a volatile household. My father was an alcoholic and was violent not towards me but to my mother on a regular basis. I was my mothers protector and without realising it shielded my brother and sister also from a lot off hat was going on. I am naturally a very caring person who likes to solve problems. So I think I tried to fix what was going on with my parents to my detriment. I recall feeling a weight of sadness that I carried around a lot as a child. But I do also recall being a spontaneous , happy and fun loving child a lot of the time. I was always looking for the fun in things no matter what the situation was I liked to cheer up a boring situation esp in the classroom I was the class clown. My counsellor says that was my coping mechanism to keep the sadness away. When I was 16 I had a nervous breakdown without realising it everything that had happened to me prior to this had built up and caused me to start having anxiety attacks. I am now 52 years old and have been searching for many years to find a cure for this debilitating anxiety. I have educated my self to the hilt on possible causes etc . My take on it is it's partly genetic, partly circumstances. I tend to think that people who end up with any anxiety disorder from their lifestyle or circumstances have a better chance of full recovery than people who are genetically predisposed . If you are wired this way from birth and don't handle stress very well and also have circumstances that exacerbate the anxiety how can you change your brain chemistry or reverse what is already part of your natural wiring. I do know the method you use to recover is to allow the anxiety to be there at all times. Just wear it like a glove and get on with life it is what I have finally decided will be the only thing that will help me in any way. I have only been doing this for the past 6 weeks or so. What I am finding is the exhaustion I am feeling from facing situations that are fearful. By just allowing the anxiety to be there causes bodily sensations that you have to just allow to be there. What I want to know is does that exhaustion ever become easier. I am trying to approach things slowly so that I don't overdo things too much. I also have much knowledge on the biochemistry side of things and I am on an appropriate diet for me and have discovered a practitioner who knows a lot about my genetics. Mthfr, pyroluria etc there are many variants that are contributing to my anxiety. But I am wondering how much control I have over my anxiety myself. I understand and know how to change my way of thinking to calm the anxiety down. But will this eventually ease my anxiety enough that it isn't so exhausting. Can I change my brain chemistry through practicing mindfulness. I get tired at times and find it hard to find the enthusiasm and positivity to keep going. But I'm not a quitter and I'm stubborn so I'm hoping those traits will see me succeed at quietening the anxiety to a level that is manageable. What are your thoughts😄

Thank You Matt for sharing your story..I have felt alone in all this Chronic Debilitating Anxiety since 2008..Its like a beast!! I hate it soooo much... It has changed my life drastically...and my quality of life has NEVER been the same!! I pray always for God to just take all this Anxiety away from me...It is soo hard to live with and you get stuck in a viscious circle of worrying when the next one will hit you again!

Hi matt, thank you for sharing your story. I, like you in the middle of your anxiety spend times in forums constantly. I am educating myself constantly and it has helped me alot. I have dealt with every anxiety symptom there is over the past 2 months. After educating myself and seeing a therapist I have began to realize that I have experienced some symptoms of anxiety since I was a kid. However nothing an severe as these past two months have been. The strange part is my anxiety and panic attacks came basically out of nowhere. Now I struggle with panic attack, general anxiety, nocturnal panic attacks, depersonalization, derealiazation, nervousness, insomnia anything you can think of. Luckily I can still function day to day as fsr as maintaining school and work however my quality of life is definitely suffering. Basically im wondering if these are symptoms you both experienced and overcame. I can experience hours or even a full day of peace and relaxation and enjoyment then all of a sudden feel a shift in mood to the anxiety (fill in any symptom previously named) is this normal understandable. My therapist says I am hard on myself but it is my nature to search for reasoning so when I experience these symptoms it can put me.in a spiral of constantly thinking.about why or how its it's happening and whet these feelings should be validated rather then just let go and keep faith. I know your just another anxiety sufferer and not a.doctor or.anyrhing but if you can relate and.help get back to me. Im hoping for a full recovery so I can feel 100 percent like myself again. I hate the thought that I wont get back there. Thankyou

Hello matt, thanks for sharing. I've had anxiety for the past year, no real panic attacks, just internal jitteriness and wierd mood/thoughts and palpitations. Was diagnosed as had g.a.d., was put on mirtazapine for 6 months, didn't really help. Still have the same symptoms and usually have them in just the first six hours upon waking, not really at night, don't have trouble sleeping either. Do you thing by any chance this can be something other than anxiety? I take activan whenever I get too bad, would like to be free of it though, would appreciate any feedback, thanks

An inspiration. I have health anxiety...I halve had for.perhaos 25 years. I frequently check, Google, have tests and seek reassurance... I have previously convinced myself I have aids, Ms, also, ra, a bleeding disorder, brain tumour, meningitis, cancer of throat, pancreas, esophageal, stomach, bowel, celiac disease ( that one may actually be right) you name.it! Do far to say you can cover many illnesses in 25 years. I have suffered social withdrawal due to fear of ebola etc.. I have isolated myself so that friends.dont notice my action (they do) I am actually externally upbeat in appearance and have many friends... If anything I am considered the comedian of my peers. Yet everyday I battle my demons... I have done cbt... Person centered counselling... Groups and those hideously depressing forums that just give me more diseases to consider. My incredibly supportive partner (despite voicing his frustrations) said somthing to me last week the resonated. If you want to beat this, and you need.to for me, you and the kids, find someone who has and copy what they do... Hopefully that is where you might come.in! I am forever hopeful x

Thank you for sharing your stories and for your vulnerability. I have had quite the overload of stress not just through my life but also recently, including my mother's breast cancer diagnosis, a car accident, an increased work load (I'm a self employed photographer), financial stresses, a psychotic ex getting out of prison and contacting me after 11 years, an ongoing bedbug problem in our building, all culminated in me waking up to a panic attack a little over a month ago. I started counseling and felt like I was making definite improvements, had even got to the point where I could fall asleep at night again and was getting out and enjoying life and then she was booked the rest of December and two weeks into January which left me on my own to deal. I thought I'm ok, I've got this, and then I got bit by a bedbug in our apartment (the same thing that triggered the initial one in november). After two trips to our place where the exterminator pretty much insinuated I was imagining things, and little cooperation from our landlord, I finally caught a live bug. The exterminator came back and determined that they are coming from the apartment we share a laundry room with. The experience has overwhelmed me with stress and the anxiety has caused me several times to think I'm losing it. Compounded by the fact that my dad attempted suicide when I was 17. He's lived on antidepressants and psych meds since I was a kid. Despite the fact that I don't personally have any of the syptoms or diagnosis' that he has, I've been terrified in the back of my mind that I would end up like him, probably for most of my life, but that fear has kicked in full force with these panic attacks. I believe I can work through this when I'm feeling clear headed, but it the throes of anxiety it feels like it'll last forever. Although I've lost 15lbs, and am not sleeping very well, I'm still pushing through. I've got an appointment to get back into counseling January 12th and have had to use ativan a few times and some natural supplements, to try and sleep and maintain eating (healthy foods, no sugars or caffeine). I've been trying to walk everyday and work in some yoga, working with deep breathing exercises although I get frustrated with them. I am taking several vitamins/supplements including bcomplex, a multivitamin, vitamins D and C and started trying ashwagandha yesterday. It's easy to get frustrated with yourself. I've been on the brink of giving in and taking medicine an ssri or something but I'm terrified of the side effects and being on it forever. Deep inside I know it isn't the answer or the way for me to heal from this. My counselor believes i can work through this and is confident in me. That thought keeps me pushing until I get back in counseling in a few weeks, If anyone wants to talk or needs support or encouragement through messaging, we can definitely find a way to connect.

Hey guys! So I also had GAD and panic disorder. My recovery is just like anxiousless' story. I had all the physical and psychological symptoms of both. I couldn't even drive at one point because I had a panic attack on the road once. But I overcame it. I'm a nursing student and I too think things biologically and am just a pro study-er in general.

I started with searching up for help on forums like these but would always end up with stories of how people have had these mental illnesses for 50 years or so and still have it or people just accepting to live sufferring everyday. I began to lose hope. No matter how many times people told me to stop looking online, I still did. And in the end, I'm glad I did. I looked up success stories specifically. They're hard to find, but I agree that, 1. they've moved on and are now living their lives and 2. they don't want to look back on those days. But there are success stories out there. I come from a family with anxiety and they've all overcame it. I was the most recent case.

Btw, I too did not go on medications.

After weeks of looking up success stories, reading books and articles, and practicing mindfullness, my mind began to slowly alter. Because of the newfound knowledge, I stopped fearing anxiety and I think that's key. Anxiety is fear and anger, once you stop fighting it with fear and anger, it slowly goes away. So here is a just a jot down of what I did.

1. acceptance - It was hard when I was diagnosed with GAD and panic disorder but acceptance is the first step.

2. knowledge - I studied anxiety inside out. Know that these mental illnesses ARE curable. It just takes a lot of work. Know that panic attacks ARE NOT dangerous, no one has ever died from anxiety or panic attacks directly. DO NOT fear anxiety and panic attacks. If they do start coming, do not get scared but instead, embrace it and ask for more because now you know they they're no longer dangerous.

3. practice - practice practice practice

4. patience - like what anxiousless' said, you don't get better overnight. Take things slow one step at a time. Also expect setbacks. Everything I've said is easier said than done of course, but never lose hope or patience.

 

Hi,

I have had GAD and thought phobia on and off for 10 years. I didn't realise I had thought phobia until recently, my thought phobia is "i'm never going to get better" it developed through having GAD and it hangs around so much as soon as that thought comes in its debilitating. I try and lead a normal life 2 jobs, single mum, mortgage to pay but sometimes I want someone to hug me and tell me everything will be OK. I try so hard to face the fear . Christmas was so hard I had to keep a smile on my face will feeling unbelievable scared. Any advice on keeping going and facing the fear.

Also I want to say thank you for posting this success story it gives me hope x x x

Nat