Posted , 33 users are following.
Hello all.
I wanted to start a thread for people who are recovered or well on the way to recovery to share there stories.
I feel it's a great way of letting others know that you where once in a dark scary place,that depression and anxiety once ruled your life but you overcame it.
Everybody gets a sense of reassurance and hope from others that have suffered and come out the other side.
There are far too many stories on the Internet that just drag people further into despair because usually people only post on forums when they themselves are struggling and living the nightmare. When we read these stories we lose a little hope. It doesn't even enter our heads that the success stories are probably many but people once they come through depression/anxiety are to busy being happy,living life and wanting to forget about this horrible stage in there lives to take times out to write about the fact that they beat this.
I just want people to have a little hope that things can and do get better and I'm hoping you guys will help xxx
17 likes, 50 replies
keleee gillian20097
Edited
Time is also a wonderful thing because as I get older I don't sweat the small stuff as much anymore and I have mellowed. I know that everything is going to be ok as long as I get up each day and put one foot in front of the other. I'm glad I didn't give up or commit suicide because I would have missed out on so much good stuff that makes life worth living.
Fear is no longer, "F Everything And Run". I can face fear today and accept things that might frighten me. I can walk away from people, places and things that are not good for me just because I think I'm worth more then that. This took time and a lot of work on myself to give up bad habits I used as crutches. I learned to like myself the way I am and accept life on life's terms, not mine. Self medicating and running away with alcohol, drugs or bad relationships is not the answer. It is in facing whatever the problem is and doing the next right thing. So very simple really but so hard to do until you just begin to do it and realize it is the easier, softer way.
If I want to do things my way instead of the right way I will end up depressed, unhappy and and miserable or I can take my antidepressant, listen to my shrink and feel better. A no brainer really. I have every reason to be depressed right now because of health issues but so far I am ok with it. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
I hope this helps someone who is depressed and thinks it is impossible to fix. I am 51 and my depression is in remission for decades now because I take care of it. If you are losing the battle go to a good doctor and ask for help, take the help and do what he says. Give it some time and you will recover from your depression.
Best of Luck, Kelly
anne240 keleee
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gillian20097 anne240
Posted
Setbacks happen...People go months feeling great and then maybe have a couple of days,a few weeks maybe where they feel they have gone backwards. This isn't the case....All it means is that you are still recovering and for a while you have to accept that you may still on occasion have bad times. They are just blips.
Even people without depression and anxiety have bad times,,,,but because we are still a little vulnerable and unsure,we tend to be a little more sensitive to the days and fear the worst.
I would just accept that this is just how you feel for now. Try not to analyse it or try to put it right. Just go with it and keep telling yourself that it's just part of the ups and downs of recovery xxx
anne240 gillian20097
Edited
I can't even explain what happened to trigger this episode. I was playing games on Boxing Day with a few people, most of whom I knew, and having a good laugh. suddently from nowhere, as if someone pulled a switch, I felt myself withdrawing and getting tearful. No reason to do that at all. I would like to believe that this is just a setback, and I will get back to an even keel.
I still had anxiety after stoopoping santi depressants, which was my doctor's idea. It had been 16 months of feeling I was recovering, and bam, here I am depressed again, and for no reason. does not make any sense to me. No warning signs, nothing.
Dear Gillian I know you, yourself, are not well at the moment. I know you are such a kind and understanding lady who always has such kind words for others here. God Bless you and may you too feel better soon.
I do hope that you and I are able to write some words that show we are getting better and brighter.
gillian20097 anne240
Posted
There is another Gillian who you where all responding to on another post who is feeling very low right now...I think she's only been on the forums a few weeks. I responded to her to but I had a feeling that you where all thinking it was me the way you responded to her. It's not me...it's another Gillian
I have spoken to you many times Anne....I've been on the forums quite a while now and always try to help.
Thats how I can assure you that what you experienced is just a little blip,not even a setback as such....just a few crappy days. Please be mindful that even people without depression and anxiety have crappy days but because we are still a little vulnerable,we tend to panic as soon as we feel that our boat is being rocked early in recovery.
If you just think calmly about it "ok today I don't feel to fantastic but that's ok,everybody has days where they don't feel fantastic"!!!! If you think that way instead of " oh no,it's happening again,I'm going to go right back there where I started"!!!
Its the feeling that accompanies them negative thoughts that make us feel so bad but if you just change that thought slightly to something more realistic,then your kind won't feel the need to panic. It will just accept that you are having a crapoy day but it's no big deal xxx
anne240 gillian20097
Posted
Starting the New Year in a positive frame of mind even though I am feeling low. Yes you are right, everyone has bad days. Life is a series of ups and downs. You are such a positive person, well you sound positive, or is that a front?
On the whole I am not a negative thinker, but I think we get like that when we have a set back. So it is on with the positive thinking!!
Hope 2015 is a better year for you. I feel you are like a friend now, and that is a nice feeling. So many nice people here, which really does help.
Take care.
gillian20097 anne240
Posted
I try to be positive for myself and everybody else but it's not a front,it's more from my past experience many years ago and knowing I got totally well and stayed well for many years.....so I can share that experience and give myself and others hope that even from rock bottom,there is a way out of this.
Even when I'm totally well from this episode,I will continue to try and help and reassure others because I know how scary it is,especially when all the stories you read sure negative.
In months to come,we will all be able to positivelycome here and tell others that we made it through. I can't wait for that day xxx
anne240 gillian20097
Posted
Like you I try to be really positive. I have been so very ill in the past, that now, what I am feeling, is nothing compared to that. Yes when we have been at rock bottom, the only way is up, I hope!!!
I do hope you will be totally well after you come through this episode. Yes you and I hopefully can tell others that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. I have been very low, but know I will never be that bad again.
Like you, roll on that day when you and I can honestly say we are feeling good.
Whatever_next keleee
Posted
This is wonderful Kelee - thank you so much for sharing. It brought me to actual tears reading of others' struggles like this when I read your honest and heartfelt, yet calm, description here. Clearly someone who has been through much to get to this point.
Thanks again, and God bless you.
ann55375 gillian20097
Posted
Tony_B Whatever_next
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Hey guys I'm new to this board and I'm the middle of my Fight with depression and anxiety. But I wanted to see ( not being rude or sexist in any way) if there are any men with stories of success? I only ask because of the macho factor and we are brought up to suck it up. Well I can't suck this up and wanted to see how you guys are successfully dealing with this problem
lewi80617 Tony_B
Posted
Hey there Tony, further down is a snippet of my story... I'm also a man(well I'm 19 haha) but feel free to pm me even if it's just to vent or have someone to listen to.
There's no shame in feeling the way you are, we're all humans and we all have our limits at the end of the day.
Geeee gillian20097
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michele_76511 gillian20097
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hannah61694 michele_76511
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YES!!!
I am living proof that it is possible. I suffered major depression, anxiety and agorphobia (all professionally diagnosed) which I suffered for two years - I am now no longer depressed, do not suffer panic attacks anymore or any symptoms of anxiety that I can't overcome and are not relatively normal (like anxiety felt when starting a new job) and of course no more agorphobia - that's how bad it got for me, I couldn't leave the house, lost my job and got myself into debt and impacted on my relationship and friendships. I self-harmed and couldn't control my emotions, having manic episodes.
I felt that the happy person I used to be had died and I would never ever ever feel happiness again, like I was permanently broken and could only imitate happiness and not feel it. That emotion did not exist for me, not even slightly - the best things in the world could have happened to me and I would not have been able to feel any happiness. I used to wish so badly that I was my old self but I believed with all my soul and being that I could never be her again.
After falling deeper into the dark pits of depression for a time and only feeling angry and frustrated at myself (punishing myself even more) for not being able to cope with life, I finally hit a turning point.
My depression had begun when I was 15 and emigrated to Australia with my family leaving everything behind and losing my identity and my first love, family and friends. I felt so lost, this was the beginning of the most challenging time of my life. I moved around a lot, leaving my family behind and trying to find my happiness somewhere else. Eventually at 20 I found somewhere I wanted to settle, found a man and felt content for a while although still battling depression and anxiety. This toxic relationship drowned me and I was a shadow of myself. After 4 years of panic attacks and towards the end agorphobia and the worst point my depression reached (spending days at home crying) I found strength from somewhere deep inside me - this strength came when I made the decision to break up with my partner who had mental health issues too and was an alcoholic. Once I had decided to do it I felt a breath of life in my soul and felt sudden yearnings to leave everything behind and go to a new place and be happy by myself. Gaining my independance back gave me hope for my future. I wanted to give myself a new start and work on getting better. It took a month to sort through the break up (selling things, finding tenants to take over the lease, signing papers, saving money) and then I went to live with my parents in another state for two months while attending weekly counselling and medication, although I had a bad reaction (seratonin syndrome) and didn't stay on meds for long, the counselling was enough to fix my mind. Then, I picked where I wanted to go next and went. I am now 27 with an amazing man in my life, studying and working and enjoying fitness classes and being social.
I began to feel happiness again in small amounts. This might sound odd for some people but because of the sickness my meds caused I chucked them in the toilet and this actually felt very therapeutic for me and really did help me feel strong. I was still depressed when I left my parents and moved away. It wasn't for another month in my new home that I started experiencing feelings of happiness again. It was beautiful, and recognising the emotion just intensified it! Each day I was feeling it more and more until it became normal and I didn't always notice it because it wasn't so unusual anymore. Then I remember waking up one morning and smiling and thinking, I'm so happy! I felt so excited to live! I was back!!... I'd actually recovered before this day but hadn't conciously noticed it. As time went on I realised I was feeling even happier than I had done that morning! (I would have been content feeling the intensity of happiness that I'd felt back then for the rest of my life but after time I'd realised it had just gotten even stronger and powerful).
I live my life now probably happier than someone who has never been depressed because I can fully appreciate happiness. When you are in that dark moment you do completely and truly believe that you will NEVER feel good again and you will always have that pain inside you. Well, I am telling you now, you can overcome this, don't give up, just hold on, keep pushing, you are already so strong to have even begun to think about the steps you need to take to conquer this. Take everything bit by bit, don't expect too much from yourself, if you are able to identify the cause, change it and if you can't do that then work through it with professional help and lots of support. For me I had some things I needed to work through (one being my loss of identity) and other things to change (my relationship status).
I wish so much I could magically show someone that is in the darkest of pits just a glimpse of the happiness they will feel if they keep strong and fight and get help and beat their demons... The biggest wall for me was not believing things could get better, or even if they did like if I won the lottery, I wouldn't be able to feel happy anyway so what was the point?.. I didn't really believe I was going to be happy again even after I started getting help but the days got better and it wasn't that long until I was fully recovered. From the moment I broke out of my toxic relationship to the moment I knew I was feeling happy it was around 6 months and it feels great to look back on it now and see what I accomplished. All you have to do is take everything bit by bit and at your own pace, don't pressure yourself and suround yourself with help and support and you will be in my position one day sooner than you think.
You are not alone.
michele_76511 hannah61694
Posted
Hannah
I am scared. I have been in the hospital many times. Meds don't help me out. They seem to either help a little bit or they make me worse. I can't function anymore or work or feel enjoyment or pleasure or peace. Not even with my family. Not sure if this is how the rest of my life is going to be
hannah61694 michele_76511
Posted
I was in hospital too I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Meds didn't help me either hence the serotonin syndrome - I ended up in hospital with hyperthermia... one of the many symptoms and I had never felt so sick, weak and scared in such an overwhelming way before. The adjustment period when going on or coming off meds is awful anyway and anxiety is usually worse. It certainly was for me.
That horrible feeling of pain and hopelessness is only for a time. You can overcome it please try and have hope. It can and will go away once you start to get help. Finding the right psychiatrist/ psychologist for you is important. I saw a couple and thought it was useless until I found one that really helped me. Do you have someone you can talk openly to? It just takes little tiny steps and then the steps get ever so slightly easier every day that you try to help yourself. You should feel strong and courageous for trying to talk about your health and seek help. Well done... it isn't easy and you may feel like each time you try you get knocked back down but just keep trying cus I know you can get there. It doesn't matter if you have a bad day/ week it doesn't mean you are failing because you are still going and that shows so much strength. Keep trying to do a little more for yourself each day and don't feel bad about asking for help even if it seems ridiculous. I made my mum drive me to every therapy session because I couldn't drive and couldn't take the bus because it was a trigger for my anxiety. The people that love and care about you will do these things for you and if it helps.. I just told myself that once I was better I would find a way to thank her and it made me feel like less of a burden. If you have any questions just ask. I don't pretend to be some kind of expert but I just want to tell you that I promise it is possible for a full recovery!
michele_76511 hannah61694
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michele_76511 hannah61694
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Can it still get better? 25 month's and still sick
asip20078 hannah61694
Posted
Hi Hanna , im really glad that you have succesfully recovered from these terrible feelings. I'm in anxious and depresive state now, and i also had more severe anxiety due to a toxic relationship. I also felt like i have a issue of identity cause i wanted to change my self for the sake of the girl i was dating and it was devastating. im on Citalopram and i think im little better and also started to take from this days Omega 3-s cause i've heard that they help also on mentall isuess. Know i have more anxiety than depression and also i think now that in the future i wont be able to have a relationship beacause ill get anxious and panic attacks. Can these feelings of anxiety be reduced and to be "brave" to get involved again. i broke up last weekend. Advice or something from you if you can ... Thankssss
asip20078 hannah61694
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ann55375 michele_76511
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