Rectocele - Soft stool - Digging stool out

I am 45ys old. I don't like water or fiber foods so I know that's a huge part of the issue. I have gone through 2 different pelvic floor therapies (2019 and 2022) without success doing the stupid exercises that don't help. I am using since Mid-October Premarin estrogen cream for my vaginal atrophy being given for my awful urinary symptoms I was having. I haven't had my period since I started using it and I'm not pregnant. I find if I eat oatmeal I have a harder time getting stool out than if I eat junk food at times. It's soft as can be so taking a stool softner seams not the answer. It's like a smear hose where I a digging it out like it's peanut butter(not hard in most cases). I take normally everyday 3 tablespoons of the generic metamucil. I have tried splinting, it doesn't work for me at all and it's SOOOOOOOOOOO much easier to dig it out. I have tried a step stool or lifting my legs on the bathtub and that only helps once in a while.

It seems that this is all related to the lack of estrogen considering before the year 2020, I wasn't having this before and not necessarily what I eat.

Any advice besides the dreading drink water and eating fiber I absolutely hate? As I said, even fiber doesn't help and has gotten stuck such as oatmeal. I am not a person that can relax as I am always uptight about issues in my life so the breathing crap doesn't help. I told the physio therapist I CANNOT do deep breathing as it just stresses me the hell out even if I try to do it slowly it's like for me, being a kid again thinking "Do I have to do this crap" when you didn't want to do your homework at home. It's like it stresses me out that I have do a task like that, so deep breathing doesn't help me at all. I basically don't want to do these exercises and it's not helping at all.

I only have had help with the urinary issues that I had problems trying to pee and that was from the estrogen cream since I tried not taking one dose once to see if that's why my weight was increasing and I was so miserable with my urinary issues I can't live without this estrogen cream.

I don't know if this is menopause or the estrogen cream or something else causing my lack of menstruation. I am going to see my regular gynecologist for my yearly pap smear in a week. I got prescribed the estrogen cream from a urogynecologist. The urogyncologist saw my urethra was small and couldn't fit the cystoscope in me so that's how I got on this estrogen cream.

Is there anything else besides the dreaded diet changes I can do that I am honestly only at times willing to do since for me, it's like food is my everything and I want to just eat and drink what I want in life otherwise why be on Earth if you can't be happy?

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