Reinstate, White Knuckle It or Prozac Bridge? Withdrawal Sucks

Hi,

So glad I found this forum. 

 Looking for some feedback about whether to go back in Venlafaxine XL after 4 months of being complete off it, white knuckle it and stick it use with the supplements or use Prozac to ease this prolonged withdrawal.

 I’m 54 and have been on and off anti-depressions since 1985 after my first panic attack. I started taking Venlafaxine XL 37.5 mg April 2015, increased to 75 mg in May 2015 after being on Citalopram 40 mg for a number of years and finding that it lost its effectiveness. I was overwhelmed with looping, racing negative thoughts, exteme fatugue, forgettfulness and drepressed. I did have a lot of stressors in my life but most of that has eased off. Though, I am in my 15 year of being a caregiver first to my Mom with dementia and my Dad for the last two years of his life (RIP 2010) and now my husband who has MS while running a business.

My anxiety, depression and irritation has gotten worse over the last 2 years and I was thinking about running away (gosh, I sound like a kid) and suicide a lot, more like day-dreaming not planning.  I thought that I may have Bi-polar 2 because of my rage so my GP referred me to a Psychiatrist.

The Psychiatrist told me I didn’t have depression or anxiety or Bipolar 2 (though I’ve suffered since I was 21) and it was the ADHD that was causing this. Taper off the Venlafaxine and up my Dexedrine from 5mg to 40 mg. and if needed increase to 60mg. . His instructions where take 75 mg for one week, then take 37.5 mg for one week then stop.

 I couldn’t handle that, so I tapered over the course of 6 weeks ending with 3 beads for 3 days than nothing. I was pretty messed up and was afraid to up the Dexedrine dose more than 40mg. I saw him a month into the tapering and told him I was really struggling with withdrawal and his reply was, “Well nobody has died from it.”  I felt alone and wasn’t going to reach out again to any doctor’s.

Back to the early withdrawal. After a week of severe withdrawal that included 3 days and nights of not being able to eat or get out of bed, save for going to the toilet to void or vomit. I ever so slowly felt I wee bit better before I would slide backwards, making only the most minute move forward with experiencing all the typical symptoms.

The almost constant tension, tingling headache with blurred vision stopped when I spend all day in the water snorkeling in Maui with a friend (Feb. 2016) for two weeks but stared the minute I started packing for home!

I did go to a counselor for 6 weeks near the beginning of the tapering but found that I was getting overwhelmed with the CBT. The intense and foreign emotions that I was experiencing were rising and falling so fast that I figured I’d go back when I was settled. i believe they were neuro-emotions. I did really get a lot out of our mindfulness, mediation and self-care discussions though.  

 To date, I am still not functioning well. I’m floored with a migraine like headache for a day if I do more than 2 hours of socializing (very rare as I don't want to be around people much), working, or shopping. I have a long list of supplements that I believe or helping but are certainly not curing this extended withdrawal.

 If I decide to reinstate, should I start with my last dose of 3 beads ? What is the usually time frame of relieve after reinstatement? What’s the worst that can happen to me? Please don’t say that I’ll revert back to week one!!!

Was also considering asking my GP to prescribe Pozac as a withdrawal bridge and not reinstating the Venlafaxine. Wondering what your expereince has been with that?

I’m SO afraid of being that sick again I feel immobilized in making a decision. 

On a positive note, I found I'm sleep less and I'm not thinking/daydreaming of suicide. Please excuse the spelling/grammar. I don’t write well at the best of times, ha.

Experience, Thoughts and Suggestion extremely welcome.

With Love,

Jan808

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