Relapse?

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Hi everyone I'm new to this site, I thought I would join up because I really don't have anyone to talk to that can offer unbiased advice to me as they don't personally know me. I was told by my doctor ages ago to join a forum but have only just got around to it.

Basically last year I hit an all time low, I had been dealing with depression since as long as I can remember but last summer I was officially diagnosed by my doctor and was put on fluoxetine. Now almost a year later I am still on this medication. I find that it definitely helps, I'm the most stable I've ever been and the only side effect I've ever had from this drug is the fatigue.

However, I can feel all the feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness and self loathing creeping back. I am lacking motivation more and more everyday and my college work is suffering, sometimes I feel too low to attend classes so I often skip them. It's starting to get me into trouble but the teachers don't seem to understand that this is a real issue for me. I've had these feelings and much worse before (I have attempted suicide in the past) and it is a very very dark place, I'm terrified of going back. I am also on the waiting list for CBT and have been since last year. Does anyone have any advice? Would be nice to have someone different to talk to about this. Thanks x

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  • Posted

    Hi

    I only joined here a few months ago and I can sympathise with you.

    I have suffered from depression as far back as i remember as a child.

    I have tried suicide several times the latest was an overdose in 2011 and i ended up in a psychiaric hospital for a week. I am very frightened ot that dark place too.

    I had been on fluoxetine for 6 years but came off it 8 months ago thinking i was okay. I was so wrong. I

    weaned myself off and was ok until two months ago when i fell back into that dark place where i wanted to

    just die. I went back to my GP a month ago and i have been on 60mg and he has referred be back to CMHT. I have my appointment on Monday (thank God) the fluoxetine is very helpful but you have to work with it or it works against you. It took over 6 weeks to get balanced

    I hope to God i never have to revisit that dark place for a good many years.

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  • Posted

    Thanks for your post smile

    Yeah it is a really horrible place to be, and I also hope that you don't have to revisit it either. I wouldn't wish it on even my worst enemy.

    I hope things get better for you too. sometimes it's just nice to talk to other people and know your not alone x

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  • Posted

    Have you gone back to your GP, could be as you have been on the meds for so long they are not as affective? Don't know though. I have been on meds for about a year & last 3 weeks have started to be weepy. Like you I have no one I can realy talk too. I am going back to my GP to C. People that have not suffered from depression do not know what it is realy like, & friends can be dismissive & say things like do something nice to yourself & you will feel better. Unless you have been there you don't know
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  • Posted

    Yeah that is very true, a lot of my friends and family don't know what it is like at all. They just say "think about all the good things in your life" or like last year when I was really really "ill" they just simply dismissed it as that...just being ill. Like it was a cold and I would get over it in a few days or weeks. But it's not like that at all.

    I've been back to my GP a few times before where I've had little wobbles and she just says "Oh wait for the therapist to get back to you about CBT" but I've been on a waiting list for a year now! Then she said she would find me a local therapist but she never did. She has been helpful in the way that she understands and doesn't make me feel awkward but I don't think she gets that by the time my turn comes for CBT it will be too late. If I had CBT last year it would have been better as my "breakdown" was fresher in my head, now it's just sort of faded to the back of my mind although I still feel the pain.

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  • Posted

    Is there a voluntary organisations out there that can help? I found 1 in my area but had to find it myself, not through GP. I had counselling through the hospital, it took ages to get it, then after 6 sessions, they said I was fine. Number crunching. I am waiting to go through a church organization that does counselling for people that need it (Not just for the religous) So it is worth it to try to find out whats out there. I am afraid no one will do it for you, which when you don't feel like doing anything anyway is not right
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  • Posted

    The first info I'd like to know is how much Prozac you have been prescribed and has that been the same amount since the beginning?

    This is important.

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  • Posted

    I've been on 20mg a day of Prozac since the very beginning. I take it every day just before bed.
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  • Posted

    Hi Sam,

    I would suggest going back to see your doctor again, and tell them that have been really struggling again, make it clear the way you have been feeling and how long for. Maybe take a friend with you who can help speak up for you, making sure that you push the doctor for advice and suggestions to what could be done to help you. You might need your dose changing or even a change in medication. A friend of mine had been taking fluoxetine for a while, but recently she started struggling again, they tried altering her dose first then her doctor decided to change her to citalopram.

    I myself had been prescribed citalopram, but it wasn't doing any good for me, so got changed to mirtazapine. If it's not working for you then it sounds like it might be worth talking to your doctor about trying something else.

    Push for some more help, are you in the UK? I am also currently waiting for counselling with the nhs, but because I went back a few times to my doctor, wanting more help, they referred me to the Community Mental Health Team (CMHT). I see a mental health nurse once a month. I believe that in some areas you can also do a self-referal for some of the services of CMHT, so you might be able to do that anyway without needing to see your GP first.

    As for your college, it sounds like it might be worth you talking about them about taking some time out or something, and starting the year again next time round. When I was at college one of my best friends had pneumonia and had missed a lot of the term, the college allowed her to take the rest of that term off and to start the year again in the September, she still completed her A levels and then went on to Uni as normal.

    Best wishes X

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  • Posted

    The maximum recommended dose is 3 times what you are taking. I do not expect any GP to exceed that without a consultant stipulating a higher dose. So there is a good margin for you to be given and try either two or three tablets daily. I suggest you discuss this with your GP and take with you some written detail of how you are affected on a daily basis. I suggest keeping a diary for say 7 days as evidence to show your GP. The time of day to take the med depends upon the patient. With a little understanding of how Prozac works you may find it better to take first this in the morning even before you get up.

    My knowledge is based largely on what has happened to me son, now 47. His depression was so bad that he was prescribed 5 tablets daily by a psychiatrist. Other doctors have expressed amazement on learning this but I can say that it made one huge difference. Of all the meds he has been given, many of which were harmful to him, Prozac has been a life saver. Now he can manage on 3 daily during the summer months but when we get those dark winter days, short hours and miserable weather he takes 4, because he appears to suffer something akin to SAD.

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