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Hello all, new here, and I was hoping I could find some support.
I have lived with pretty severe anxiety disorder for close to 10 years now, but luckily I was able to stabilize myself on Citalopram fairly early on after trying a couple different medications. With that being said, I was on Citalopram for a number of years, and I thought that perhaps I did not need the medication anymore since I had felt find for so long. Needless to say, I've never made a more regrettable decision. After tapering down from 40mg (which is where I was at for years) to 20mg and then to 10mg over the course of a couple months, I have ended up experiencing a full-blown relapse.
First of all, I should have done my research first about the risk of relapse. Secondly, I probably went down in dosage too quickly.. Thanks doc. Most of all, though, it seems that I still need to be on Citalopram after all. I've been back on 40mg for about a week now, and obviously still feeling awful. My sleep has totally gotten screwed up so I've been getting very little sleep each night, which is leading to higher anxiety. All of your typical thoughts are back.. "Will I be able to be myself again?", "Will the meds work again?" etc. I've landed back in an awful place that I hoped I would never be in again.
Logically, I know that I need to wait it out a few weeks for the Citalopram to normalize in my system again, which will also helpfully help my sleep go back to normal, but I'm nervous nonetheless. I've been taking a little bit of xanax to help with my anxiety at night, but I'm still waking up after only a few hours of light sleep. I've also read that insomnia is a side effect of citalopram, so I wonder if perhaps that is going on, too? My doc also prescribed me Ambien (which also didn't help) as well as Belsomar(?) which I haven't tried yet. I need a good night's sleep, but I'm also afraid to rely on meds for that, although it might be necessary for the time being. Overall, just very scared.
Either way, I'm all screwed up and good really use any encouragement! Have any of you had a similar situation before? I greatly appreciate it! Having support from others really helps. I know that none of us could do this on our own.
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