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Relapse of Panic Disorder and Anxiety due to grief - meds are a big challenge!

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nikkinakken
nikkinakken

My mom passed last year October and i think i had been in shock up until about the end of July this year.

One night i sat in bed and out of nowhere the biggest panic hit me - that i jumped. Woke my husband and told him. Took 1mg Ativan SL waited, nothing. Took another 1 mg Ativan.. it just kept coming in waves.

Eventually i calmed and felt tired from the meds and slept. The next day was tender as i expected, but felt mini attacks coming the rest of the week. Contacted my Psychiatrist - I tried Urbanol - didn't react well to it, i tried Espiride - Not good - Tried Xanor SR 0,5mg - which i used to take when i was first diagnosed - felt groggy and couldn't function and anxiety worse.

This time something shifted - the adrenaline was just rushing, the invasive thoughts, kept feeling like i'm dying, felt all the classic symptoms of derealisation, shaking.

Eventually went to the clinic to see if i could try get on new meds there. I had blood tests and brain scans and there are a few irregular urine results that we are busy checking out again with endocrinologist. I also have a small prolactonoma (apparently it's common) on my pituitary gland. Go figure?

Anyway...in hospital...

My body did not want to know other meds, he tried to add something called lyrica that made me feel terrible. tried to Up my citalopram, nope. Ativan was all i could handle and my usual 20mg Citalopram.

Started doing therapy. It kind of intensified the anxiety.

Long story short, i am home, after being in the clinic for a further 6 days.... I am now on Cilift (Citalopram) 20MG in the morning, 1mg Ativan Morning, Noon and Night and 10MG Phenegran (anti-histimine that calms) Morning, Moon and Night, and have started with extra 5mg of Cilift in the evenings, and stilnox (Ambien) to help me sleep or i dont sleep (this is new).

My anxiety has shifted over these past 3 months - the lastest is that i get a large knot in my gut and i want to vomit and my arms get warm - the meds do help with this but it is the time before the evening dose that i find the hardest 2hours before the last dose i start feeling 'sick' and anxious and a bit emotional.

i am determined to try to up my Cilift - the Dr wants to get me up to 30MG if not 40MG.. it is slow going because i am sensitive to pills but i have been through such a hard time.

Can someone please tell me their success stories on upping their dosages of SSRI's - how long does it take to kick in? It's been the most difficult part of my life.

Thank you in advance.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • sasical72
    sasical72 nikkinakken

    Edited

    Hello,

    That is a lot of medicines. My suggestion would be to work on your grief because that is the real cause for your anxiety and medicines can cure grief, all they can do is mask the symptoms.

  • nicola75516
    nicola75516 nikkinakken

    Posted

    hi how are you feeling now? i also lost my mum

    last year and was a total shock, i went in citalopram afterwards as had major panic attacks and this helped, 10mg upped to 20mg stayed on them 9 months and came off then 4 weeks ago i woke up during the night and had a panic attack went back on citalopram but managed 19 days and doctor had to take me off as the side effects were to much i felt like i was losing my mind. i am currently taking propanalol 3 x a day for anxiety but i can still feel it all iver me the awful butterflies feeling all the time in my tummy weird cold sensation in my head and arms and legs i can feel it rushing through me my body is in constant fight or flight and has no rest, sleeping probably 2 hours a night which really does not help.

    • nikkinakken
      nikkinakken nicola75516

      Posted

      Hi Nicola, only saw this message now x

      Sorry for your Loss 😦

      My system has been in a state of delayed response and i'm sad that i'm going through this.

      I am hoping daily that i rebalance 😦

      I have not heard of Propanalol. I'm in South Africa, not sure it is prescribed here? I could be wrong.

      I am on Lorazapam 1mg x3 daily with Phenegran 10mg (antihistamine that also calms). I dont' think i would cope without this right now. Is there not another SSRI you can try? I had those same symptoms in my arms - you are in F&F.

      I struggle to understand what is grief and what is anxiety lately. Maybe the two are just interlinked. ?

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