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Relationship anxiety

Posted , 3 users are following.

IkeaCat
IkeaCat

In my everyday life I don't normally face anxiety, unless in very difficult situations (normally my father who has had Parkinsons for almost 20 years). Though the anxiety doesn't make me feel sick, it gives me feel nervous.

I've dated a girl on and off for the last 3 years, and the reason things end up breaking off is, as I feel, is relationship anxiety. I assume because I/we have a fear things won't work again, even though before even kissing things are always amazing.

What tends to happen when things become weird/anxious, is that I'd conciously/sub-consciously recognise my girlfriend is acting peculiar/not normal, which in turn makes me almost seize up and not think clearly. Once that happens, I assume the similar happens to my girlfriend who then also "seizes up" and it almost feels like we're both strangers. During that moment, anything I ideally want to say (about the situation) feels like a mountain I need to conquer and I just don't ask it at all.

Has anyone ever witnessed something similar or have any tips to possibly prevent this happening in the future?

Sorry if I've been unclear in my description. Happy to answer any questions anyone has.

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • IkeaCat
    IkeaCat

    Posted

    No they have never broken up. So I have no idea where it stems from sad

    • Needhelp_asap
      Needhelp_asap IkeaCat

      Posted

      Maybe you should start counseling! It will be proven good and you will be able to find the root of it! Best of luck!
  • helen20833
    helen20833 IkeaCat

    Posted

    I agree with Needhelp, perhaps some form of councelling, where you can have one to one help, would be beneficial

    Perhaps the fact that your father, whom I presume you love, has Parkinsons, has made you fearful of showing emotions,

    There is no greater power to hurt, either advertently or inadvertently, by those whom we love. The fact that your father has a progressive illness has taught you to be strong for his sake, at the cost of hiding your own true feelings of pain and helplessness

    Perhaps you equate loving with being open to getting hurt? This spills over into your relationship with your girlfriend, a holding back emotionally and vocally

    And if she senses that in you then she too, will withdraw emotionally and vocally

    Being in any relationship is not without risk. The risk of getting hurt. But the alternative is loneliness. Only you can decide whether to assess your true feelings and motives and whether to be open about them

    I wish you luck. But don't remain in limbo, okay? Take action to sort out this problem so that you can have  healthy relationships

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