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jillianr17 jillianr17

Relationship anxiety ?? Or real feelings ??

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 months, everything was amazing. He gave me butterflies, he’s so caring, he’s smart, funny, etc. I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for him. But I struggle with anxiety and depression. One day I thought “What if I don’t love him anymore?” And now it’s off and on. It’s been going on since March, and seems to get worse and worse. My chest gets very heavy, and I overanalyze Everything. Since we came out of the honeymoon phase  I don’t feel all those amazing feelings and I feel like I dont love him or want to be with him. I’m starting to get annoyed with him easily, when he calls in the morning I dont want to answer always, I dont know if I see a future with him now but I used to plan it all the time. But when I stop thinking about it, I’m okay. I feel more comfortable and stable with him than in love now. But I cant stop thinking about if I see a future with him or not, or even want to be with him. I cant tell if it’s anxiety or it’s real feelings. I cry All the time and I cant stop wishing I felt In love with him, all I want are the feelings back. When I think about breaking up something tells me not to let go. Im so lost in my mind.. I’ll get a random splurge of lovey feelings for him and “I know“ I want To be with him feelings, then I’ll think then why did I think all of those feelings before and it starts back up again. Then I read love is a choice not always a feeling and I just feel so lost. It’s like I look at him and calling my boyfriend feels weird now, as if I don’t know him. I look in the mirror and I don’t know myself. Any opinions ?? ): 

2 Replies

  • yvette 1938 jillianr17

    It’s ok !! I feel the same way all the time and I let every little thing get the best of me it is aniexty and this is something we have to live with it’s not easy but what I need to do is do some yoga or mediation each and every morning or after u come from work clear your mind and think of all good things .. u do love him it’s just the anxiety telling you something different don’t give up on him .. learn to breath and sit back and take time out to be alone and just mediatate drink some peppermint tea and relax your mind .. it’s all in your mind trust me it will work .. hope things work out ..

    • jillianr17 yvette 1938

      It feels so weird. I used to want to talk to him on the phone every morning and now I’m avoiding his calls, like I don’t want to talk on the phone. This morning I just feel so numb towards the situation, I feel nothing. It’s making me feel like I completely detchaed my love from him and idk what to do or if it’s real feelings or what. 😭😭😭 I keep having dreams about us breaking up etc. 

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