Relationship Failure Update

Posted , 4 users are following.


I wrote a few weeks back about how I was feeling after my breakup from my ex girlfriend and I find it helps to write down my feelings and ease my anxiety.

It's been 7 weeks since she left me and to say its been hell is an understatement.

I'm finding the emotional detachment impossible and all my thoughts (obsession, jealousy and ruminating) are centred on her and not moving on in a world without her.

I am on my 5th week of 30mg of Citalopram and whilst the panic attacks have slowed down (I had one on Friday) the anxiety is still very high.

I've applied myself for 2 lots of counselling.

1 for hypnotherapy and 1 for psychopherapy.

I run my own business and my business is failing as I cannot function and spend all my time worrying about where she is and who she is with. I am doing this now while I write this!

Yesterday was awful.

It took me 2 hours but I 'Facebook Stalked' and found the guy she is with and that just destroyed me. He is good looking and everything I am not.

It ruined my day and I had only an hour sleep last night.

I phoned the samaritans this morning as I felt so, so bad and I wish I wasn't around anymore.

Does anyone have anything to offer in the way of support?

I am on day 17 of No Contact but I can't shut off.




0 likes, 5 replies

Report / Delete

5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Andy, I feel as if your destroying yourself with this obsession of checking up on your ex. Unfortunately for you she has moved on and i would advise you to concentrate on getting yourself well again. You are going to be having therapies and i would say hang on and you will come out the otherside. I know its hard to accept that your ex is in a new relationship and you don't want to hear this right

    now, but you are making yourself ill and it takes time to get over these things. Please think about yourself and get stronger, you will eventually move on but not untill you have your treatment. people here are supportive so talk anytime you wish. Hope this helps.Best wishes.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Andy it does get better. Its ok to not feel good. Just do what you have to do mechanically until the pain eases. Because you need to keep earning money. Relate have a good book on how to deal with starting again. I have used it. Go to your local relate office, they will have it to buy. Work your way through it. DO NOT GO ON TO FACEBOOK.this will take strength. Only you can do it.. Keep a journal each day, write down all your thoughts and feelings. Just remember, you are not a failure. Relationships break up. It doesnt mean there is anything wrong with either person. Feelings just stop sometimes for no reason. I have a couple of times in my life felt I couldnt go on without someone, heartbroken, . And the feeling went away. Completely!! Hang in there.
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    block her facebook! you dont need to keep checking thats whats making you feel like this try really hard to focus on your work cause thats your life! you need to think of your self then maybe one day you can move on.

    chin up smile x

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Thank you all for your kind replies.

    I have blocked my ex and her new guy.

    The problem I've gt is that we share 65 mutual friends so her photos come up quite a bit......and of course she is always having a good time.

    It really doesn't help.

    Bloody Facebook!.......I used to love the site now it brings only pain and torture, I never thought for one minute it could do that!

    Thanks again.

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up