Relationship reconciliation peri - menopause
Posted , 7 users are following.
Hi all, just need to know if any of you have managed to get your relationship back on track after a peri - menopause split.
Thanks
0 likes, 15 replies
Posted , 7 users are following.
Hi all, just need to know if any of you have managed to get your relationship back on track after a peri - menopause split.
Thanks
0 likes, 15 replies
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unico31026 steve75571
Posted
gentleballads steve75571
Posted
some have had to give up jobs they have worked very hard for
social life is disrupted - so may be marriage too
a man needs to be very understanding and keep trying if he feels its worth it
education is available all over net
steve75571
Posted
MoodyNoire steve75571
Posted
Zigangie MoodyNoire
Posted
Zigangie steve75571
Posted
We didn't actually split although I asked my husband to leave on several occasions.
We had some vicious arguments as we didn't know at the time that what was going on was because of perimenopause.
I was told it was depression and I was seriously depressed. I think only because neither of us had anywhere else to go we are still together.
He has had to cope so much on his own and luckily he's good at that and does more than his share of housework.
I'm really only finding me again now with the help of HRT.
The fact that we can both enjoy a sex life again has improved our relationship a lot.
He is quite a cuddly guy but when I was feeling so hot and also worried cuddling would lead to him trying to instigate sex. I really didn't want to know and most of the time felt he would be better off without me.
As I Have Bipolar disorder every doctor said my problems were down to the depressive side of my illness, but I know one of my friends felt exactly the same way and considered suicide because she felt her family would be better off without her. She has no mental health problems and suffered in much the same way.
We never discussed this until recently when I pointed her in the direction of this site and menopause matters on Facebook, for which she was grateful. We are both post I'm on HRT and she is not and is clearly still having symptoms.
HRT is good but although it fixed a lot of my suffering and symptoms quite quickly I'm by no means the person I was.
I still get very tired have insomnia and periods of sleeping too much and at the wrong time.
I am though now looking forward to the future and not thinking about it with dread and fear.
My husband and I are both much happier though and more relaxed around each other. He recently is talking of renewing our vows and replacing our wedding rings which were tossed away in the midst of it all.
So yeah there is hope. I suggest you see if you can try getting her on HRT and if you have enough money pay for her to see a meno expert, it's something I would still do if I had the finances, because I feel if your hormone levels were measured and then carefully adjusted and tailored to yourself things could be even rosier.
Hope all goes well for you.
steve75571
Posted
I had to move out as she told me, she's doesn't love me anymore, she never loved me as much as I love her and we've never been compatible
Zigangie steve75571
Posted
I can't say we are all different.
I did tell my husband how much I despised him among other things.
He refused to leave, I was too yuk and unwell to go myself.
A few months on HRT and I'm so glad and feel the same towards him as I used to.
I feel the arguments and fights that we had were 90% down to the way I felt, if someone had told me that 6 months ago I would have laughed at them.
I am shocked that HRT which j everyone is told will help with hot flushes has made such a huge difference to my head space, the way I feel about him, myself and the world.
Looking back though I had become the same with friends and family, not nasty to them they just really irritated me and I generally felt irritable with no time or patience for even the things I used to enjoy.
To be honest I just wanted to be asleep because it was the only time I got a rest from the way I was feeling.
steve75571
Posted
"Who would have thought it, together for ever and now split up"
Over the years we've said this to each other several times and silly things like we've both kept all the valentines cards we've sent each other, I even got one this year, about 2 weeks before she told me!
All the cards have "love you forever" written in, she also, when we see old people together used to say "that'll be us"
Her reply to me when I said about being together forever was:
Who said that?
I know she's in there somewhere buried but I have no clue how to get her back
omarie127 steve75571
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gentleballads steve75571
Posted
steve , you shouldnt have moved out....we have to do the best to recognise those chaotic moments and wait it out......hold tight and hang in there, bow your head to let the storm pass over,
it does get better....
steve75571
Posted
I then realised what was happening so I started being really supportive and understanding and that's what put the final nail in the coffin, the nicer and more understanding I was the more I got pushed out
Zigangie steve75571
Posted
I'd suggest remaining as friendly as things will permit.
When you are in the thick of it you don't see what's happening to you, my husband even suggested once that it could be down to hormones and I told him not to be so ridiculous.
Even now silting back and knowing how much HRT has improved everything I'm still amazed that a lack of hormones could be responsible for so much grief.
richard41982 steve75571
Posted
My wife and I are in the middle of this now. She said she doesn't think we are compatible any more. She has not been diagnosed but if it is hormonal will she start to believe in us againwhen things settle down or are we destined to fail? I will not give up until I feel there is no reason to fight anymore. But if she feels the way she does what will keep her loyal until this is over?
carl47656 steve75571
Posted
I see it's been a year for you now. Just curious if your situation has changed?
Personally for me this has been the most difficult thing in life I have gone through. My wife decided to divorce us and then has spent the last 6 months letting me take her out, do work for her around the house and we have even spent a lot of nights together. (No sex) I'm ok with that. I can't even imagine what she's going through. I can't picture myself with anyone else. I have no desire for anyone but her. We've really been dealing with this for the last five years. I'm hoping it's almost over and we can get back to who we were. I Love her so much. Any encouragement?