Relatively certain I'm positive for HSV2, how do I cope now?
Posted , 5 users are following.
Went to my GP today, who said it looks like it may very well be herpes. I'm in complete shock, can't stop crying, and feel like my life is falling apart.
A little bit of background:
27 year old female.
I had recently gotten out of a long term relationship, started seeing a new guy in the last month. Everything seemed to be going well, we had sex for the first time last week, I asked if he'd been tested; he said "yes - clean." We did use protection but the condom broke one of the times we went at it. I didn't think too much of it at the time. Fast forward 4 days to a small sore on my perineum. At first I assumed we were a little rough and it didn't resemble anything that looked like online images for herpes. 2 days later symptoms progress, and knowing my body I realized something was definitely wrong. Fever, loss of appetite, exhaustion. I'm not a big believer in coincidence, and I also apparently have an immune system oddly susceptible to everything in the herpes family; had chicken pox and shingles relatively young.
I'm hoping someone can give me a little bit of advice on how to move forward. My doctor loaded me up on literally everything today: Valtrex, Azithromycin, and Ceftriaxone just to cover all bases until my bloodwork comes back because he's unsure.
How do I even have a conversation with the guy?
Did he give me the virus, or did I infect him?
How long will this first episode last?
Can the doctor tell if this is a new infection or something that was dormant?
How do I move forward? Is dating even possible?
When will I start feeling like I can live with this?
Any insights are very appreciated.
0 likes, 8 replies
FelizCastus a369
Posted
Did he give you oral sex? If so, it could be HSV1, which is much better of the two to have genitally. If you swab positive for herpes and test negative for IgG antibodies at the time of your outbreak, that is the only way and time you can definitely tell that it's a brand new infection. Get swabbed and do the IgG blood test (not IgM) asap if you want to know. Check with your doctor which tests were done. Based on the timing and assuming it's herpes, it sounds like he gave it to you. First outbreak lasts 3 weeks on average from first symptoms to complete healing. The first week is the worst.
a369 FelizCastus
Posted
Yes - he did give me oral. So I guess the best I can hope for now is that it's HSV1.
I'm going to the gyno today - I'll make sure to ask for those tests.
Any advice on how to talk to him about the fact that he might have infected me?
debbie07494 a369
Posted
I wish I could answer all of your questions if I could I would be able to make myself feel better. I was also just told I had HSV2 and feel like my world is coming to an end. I smile going to say to you as I once told my daughter who was infected with the virus at around 23 . It's not the end of the world. You will have to be upfront and honest to whom ever you meet. The right man will love you for you and he will not judge you. Fast forward 6 years later my daughter is married to a man who loves her more than life. She had a beautiful daughter. So stop crying and get on with living. As I say these words to you I am saying it to myself
anonymous_41067 a369
Posted
Well your doctor will definitely give you the results. I understand completely because this is how I felt. Don't feel ashamed and that if your life is ruined. It's not going to be. Just simply ask the guy to go get tested for all std's, if he refuses, then this should tell you that he is hiding something. If he does accept the offer then you might not feel so bad. I was in your exact position 2 years ago and I will tell you I was very angry because I was faithful and I had painful sex so bad that I didn't want to have any sex after that. I was tested in the beginning of December and found out around Christmas 2015 and I tested positive. I was depressed, angry and everything under the sun. If you recently just felt this way, it could be possibly he had given it to you but if you feel you've had these symptoms for awhile, it might not be him that has given it to you. If you are using the same doctor for years then he could go back and check your symptoms from previous visits but if this is a new doctor, it all depends. Herpes can stay dormant until you have a outbreak.
The first episode is actually the worst I know it was for me.
If you need to seek help, do so. They will help you re-establish how to start a different life living with herpes. Dating is possible but you would have to tell everyone you come into contact with. If they ask questions, educate them so they know how to effectively be safe having sex with. Also don't have sex with an outbreak because it's contagious.
Any insights is when you feel you can trust again. It took me a long time. It stills bothers me but I tend to not think about it. I actually have sun stained from sex because my trust has been broken and don't know if any guy wants to be with me. I have a 13 yr old boy and I work and go to college. I really don't have the time to date. That is the least of my problems. If you do get the results, please do tell all of us so those who have can help you get thru this together. You are not alone. I hope this helps you and you have a blessed night.
a369
Posted
Update:
Today I went to the gyno - who was absolutely awful. She said that if my GP was already running my blood then I will know when those tests come back and that even with an initial infection there will be some antibodies. I asked her to do a swab, at which point she told me that they don't do swabs and that it's 100% herpes. She said they don't even stock those tests in the clinic.
I also got back my initial blood results from my doctor who said that my full STD panel came back clean - including herpes 1/2. He's still waiting on a DNA test, but wants me to come back in 2 weeks to run my blood again.
So basically, I have no idea what is going on.
FelizCastus a369
Posted
A positive level of detectable antibodies won't be present with very new infection, and that's pretty incredible how she refused to do a swab. I wouldn't go back to that gyno again! What was the dna test your GP ran? Blood or swab, for herpes? Two weeks might not show much difference in HSV IgG levels, but you can test then, just be sure to do it again at 3 months as well. That's IgG, not IgM, by the way. Many doctors mistakenly think the IgM test can determine early/new infection, but it is very unreliable and inaccurate in the case of herpes, so is not advised by experts and the CDC (you can Google this). Just in case that is what your GP is testing you for. IgG is the blood test to do and take note of, even if they run the IgM test as well.
k490 FelizCastus
Posted
Lot of GP's just don't really care to do much testing they will say if the medication worked then they know it was HSV. Really only way to positivlly identfiy an outbreak is to swab it and send it for DNA testing. Could be the cost I'm in the US where insurance companies don't like paying for expensive testing.
k490 a369
Posted
Don't get too upset really not going to help you if it turns out to be HSV. HSV is not the end of the world. I have HSV 2 for over 30 years and I have a normal married life my wife has never contracted HSV from me. When I first contracted it I never took any medication I only had 1 or 2 over 10 year period but later in life I started to get re-occoring outbreaks in the summer months when it was hot where I live we get well over 100 deg. I take Valacyclovir it works the best and you only take 1 500mg a day to control the outbreaks. I wish I didn't contract herpes but It happend can't go back the good thing is really only an irritating rash. I dated after I contracted it before I was married after a few dates I would explain that I had HSV some didn't call me back most did. I found dating didn't really change much maybe a few people. My wife I told on our 2nd date she had no idea what HSV was I explained it to her in those days didn't have the internet so had to show her in a book. When you get the test results back don't let it get the best of you. HSV is not cancer, or things that can be much worse. Use Valacyclovir it works the best I have tried all those others they just don't work as well.