reoccurring spinal tumor?
Posted , 6 users are following.
I had a spinal cord tumor over 30 years ago and have been a paraplegic for about 10 years now, using a wheelchair. Recently I've had a number of new neurological problems and have been seen by a neurologist and have other appointments as well. I'm filled with fear of what is to come and sadness that I have wasted my life. I don't have a wife or children, but I still have both parents and a brother that I love very much and I don't want to be taken from them. Both my parents are concerned but know that I'm seeing the right people and we just need to get everything checked out. I spend most of my days crying, depressed and worrying about every strange twitch or tingle I have in my body. I just wanted someone to know and if anyone had any advice on how to deal with the anxiety and fear. Thanks
0 likes, 10 replies
yasmina09887 jeff34345
Posted
I am so sorry you are scared and I do not know you but I am sending you love and light. I have been off my feet for 10 months from an MVA and I am waiting for surgery. I am not going through what you are. I have been writing a journal and meditating and looking at life with different color lenses since this has happened. Life is dealign you cards that are difficult but know you are strong and it will all be ok. Try to surround yourself with things you love and occupy your mind with happy things and music and smile alot. xo
Laura3333 jeff34345
Posted
No life is ever wasted Jeff, you are depressed and worrying. All sorts of thoughts come into our minds when faced with the unknown.
It's normal to be afraid.
You have a family who love you, be thankful for that, you could have a wife you were miserable with.
Yes you are seeing the right people and hopefully they will get to the bottom of the strange symptoms.
Whether you are happy or sad it will not change the outcome, try to find pleasure where you can.
I sincerely hope you are worrying about nothing,
bedt wishes.x.
lorraine_21180 jeff34345
Posted
Hi
Sorry to hear all that you're going through??
My spine problems are no way as bad as yours but I know how you must be feeling sealing with it for so long.
I too suffer from anxiety and depression due to my health but also from losing both my parents when I was in my teens. I really struggled for years trying to cope but ended up bottling everything up. Fast forward to last year after my latest back operation all my anxiety and depression came bk to bite me in the arse . What I find extremely helpful is counselling I know it's hard to talk about things but it's that little bit easier when it's a stranger you're speaking too. There's plenty of low cost counselling around too so you wouldn't have to worry about money and even discuss that with some counsellors they may be willing to do a deal on the he fee. If you're able to get out and about for some fresh air it clears the head too??
When I'm feeling really panicked I go to YouTube and find a short awareness meditation recoding I was a bit iffy about them but they actually work for me and could work for you too if you're willing to try it.
Get yourself out to meet new people if it's joining a support group or something like that and you'll be surprised that you'll make friends and maybe one day find love?? we have to put ourselves out there though. I met my husband when I was going through a really crap time with my back and stress I joined an online dating site(I was bored to be honest lol) but I met the hubby nearly 6yrs ago and he puts up with all my crap and loves me even though my health is always going to make things hard for us.
I hope I haven't bored you haha I've a habit off burning the ears off people!!
I hope things go well for you I really do xxx
Guest jeff34345
Posted
Dear Jeff, this site is so great for support and even though we have support from our family and friends it's great to get information on here. Do you go to any support groups or tai chi? I find them very helpful and have met people with similar problems as myself. Your doctor should help you with medication for anxiety. Easy for me to say but try and keep positive I myself have good days and bad but we are much stronger than we think cyber hugs??
jeff34345
Posted
Thank you everyone for your replies. Just knowing that people in the world took a momet to even read my message and then reply with good wishes and ideas helps me a great deal.
I'm going to try to focus on positive things, and try to get my head away from looking for a problem in my body every minute of the day. There is a support group that I'm going to be a part of through the hospital I'm going to. Perhaps they will be able to help. I'm also going to speak to a clergy person as well. Though I know they don't have an answer to why bad things happen to good people, perhaps just unburdening myself of my fears and sadness will help.
Again thank you to every person who wrote in here to comfort me and suggest ideas on how to deal with everything. I really means a lot to me.
I hope people don't mind if occasionally I add my thoughts and feelsing here again.
Thank you, Jeff
lorraine_21180 jeff34345
Posted
Ah that's great see you're on the right path already, asking for help and advice is the hard part but you've already done that so you're ahead already??
Life can be really s#*t at times but that's if we let it. Think positive????????
Guest jeff34345
Posted
Laura3333 jeff34345
Posted
That's why this forum exists, for people to support each other.
We all need a little kindness at times, and can't always unburden ourselves to our families and worry them more.
Just regard this place as somewhere you can come if you need to talk or even have a moan, you're among internet friends and can be open
laurie68899 jeff34345
Posted
I am so sorry you feel so scared and are depressed...b4 i say anything regarding medical problems can i ask do you have any kind of siciallife...do you have friends outside of family griup...have you spoken to ur GP about yoyr fears and anxiety.......you havnt said what ur otger apptments are for...do you not have a clearer picture of your medical condition...ur feaes are obvioysly round dying...do you thjnk tumors have developed elswer...laurie
jeff34345 laurie68899
Posted
Laurie,
Laurie, thank your for your concern and message.
I didn't want to get too into my illness, but I don't think tumors have developed elsewhere, but they may have redeveloped in the cord and be taking away some of the functions that I do have.
I have a few friends that I see on occasion, but not that often. Most of them have busy lives and sometimes come by to visit me (or when I was feeling better we might go out to eat).
I haven't spoken to my GP about my fears and anxiety. I'm sure they would want to put me on some meds to help. And they might help me, but I'm not sure that would really help "solve" my fear/sadness.
The other appointments are with surgeons and other Drs to check that my new symptoms aren't just something else causing them (or perhaps some sort of natural aging process).