rested but but at what cost
Posted , 4 users are following.
Use my htcs4 when post on this site, i have no other meens? Even nowo,m having trouble as the words seem to stick as i write? Anyhoo to anyone who takes the time to read this please be understanding. I will later read the posts i sent yesterday but for now i wish to apologise. The answer or solution to problems will not be Found in the demon drink? Believe me i know of what i speak. Yesterday i was on a mission of send destruction, sleep i needed and sleep i got but at what cost? I dont meen financial i meen self worth or now selfloathing as it May be. I have been many things in my life and an alcoholic is not one of them although i find i have a problem stopping only once i start? The more i drink the more i think, the more i think the more i drink and the cycle begins, i have no hangover but regrets are creaping around my mind "my my do i bite" but thats the cost i have to pay to hold on to sanity. I get lorazapam, zopñicone, tramadol and veneloxine? Yes if take them i sleep but sleep should be more than the closing of ones eyes and inactivity of the brain, i need to dream, good dreams bad dreams memories regrets, dreams are what i crave yet my selfish act of getting drunk did not produce the desired effect but turned me into a jibbering idiot and here i am 4 in the morning awake again and my Palm starts over. My respite was brief and unrewarding but i wont need sleep again now for days, and thats how i cope. Sad but true. The cost of my existance.
1 like, 10 replies
roberta48267 Mercybemine
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Mercybemine roberta48267
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Mercybemine roberta48267
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dambudzo Mercybemine
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sleep is good.
going for a leisurely walk in a park is good.
gardening is good.
try them. and above all be kind to yourself.
good luck
Mercybemine dambudzo
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robin77577 Mercybemine
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It is 7:30 in the morning here in Montreal on this bright, sunny day. And I'm sure on your side of the pond, things look far less bleak for you than they did yesterday. We all have our demons. We have all made mistakes we regret. But we have to move forward, not look back constantly. If you were walking along a path, which direction would you look in? If you look back constantly, you will fall. Look towards the future. This may frighten you but it's far better and more constructive to look in that direction, don't you think, David?
The first step is acknowledging that you have a problem and that you do need help. There are very painful things that have happened in your life that make you want to escape. It may be PTSD (Post traumatic Stress Disorder) that needs dealing with.
The NHS has a program called Turning Point which you may have heard of. They are very kind and very supportive and understanding of people who are there to help people cope with life's problems. You are not alone. They offer counselling including self-help groups and cognitive behavioural therapy. And they offer medications. Google 'turning point' and then click on 'misuse'.
On this NHS site there is a little 5 minute video 'David's Story' that I think you should watch and that will hopefully inspire you. Your story is not exactly David's but no one's story is the same. He went to Turning Point and turned his life around completely. If you google the following you will come upon David's story: UK NHS alcohol misuse. At least watch his story. I am sure you can identify with some of it and maybe, just maybe seek help.
Important suggestion: I would go to a library on a proper computer rather than watching it on your phone. It may make the difference between getting the help you need and continuing on your downward, self destructive spiral.
Of course, it is up to you whether you want to move forward or wallow in the past..(dont' mean to be harsh but 'wallow' is the perfect word.)
We will all be rejoicing if you take that first step in moving forward on the path of life. You are only 50 years old. You have potentially 30 more years to live on this earth. You don't have to be a Martin Luther King. But you can be the best David that you can possibly be. I am sure that is what your sister would have wanted for you. To honour her memory, and to make yourself proud, take that one step and contact Turning Point. Don't be discouraged if it requires a call back or leaving a message. Put one foot in front of the other and you WILL make it, David.
Mercybemine robin77577
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Reggie04 robin77577
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Today I try to be as positive as I can and yes today I can't afford to live in the past...
Look back, but don't stare....
Thankyou Robin so much
Reggie04 Mercybemine
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Mercybemine Reggie04
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