Rock bottom

Posted , 7 users are following.

Feeling immensely crap for too long!

Hate life and everthing to the point where for years i dont want to wake up and hate it when i do.

I see no good in this world at all, nothing i can do or enjoy, no way of earning comfortable money and no one and most possibly no chance of anyone to share life with.

Of course i have tried to stay positive and taken all the meds doctors have given me but, why oh why cant i just be given a tablet to end this? If i cant get better and only suffer all my life whats the point?

I want so badly to go i really do, after all whats the harm no one will even notice i have gone. I am nothing to this world and it is nothing to me.

Why are we forced to be here, does it not mean we are slaves?

Sorry I'm just lost..

3 likes, 7 replies

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh Michael

    I wish I could say comforting words to you to make life just that tiny bit better. 

    The staying positive just takes so much energy doesn't it, especially when you feel as if you are going backwards. I keep asking that question keep taking the meds, try and be positive try and do all the things that people suggest that are suppose to make you feel better but it doesn't so what is the point?

    But Michael you will be missed by me and I'm sure by other people on here.

    As you said to me once when i was very lost, feeling abandoned and no one cares that you had hope for both of us. So please keep going as I hung on to that hope.

    Hugs Tinax


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  • Posted

    I am really sorry to hear what you're feeling. Im actually feeling the same exact way you are right now. I contemplate on ways that I could just end everything but unfortunately it's not that easy. We would like to think that taking these medications one we will wake up and things will just be okay...we have to push it along and keep going. We have to live for ourselves and find out what makes US happy. I'm now coming to realize that I was trying to impress too many people and i felt that everyone was constantly putting me down, or putting me on an unattainable pedestal but Michael my advice for you is, find what makes you want to live. I don't have either of my parents and my boyfriend is in rehab. I have no car, no money, I was cut off cold turkey. I hit rock bottom and just look at this can do whatever you want!!! You're not tied down. If you want to move to freaking Mount Everest or wherever that may be do it! Work towards a goal. I know how hard it is to stay motivated. One second I think okay I can do this and the next I'm thinking I want to end my life and no one would care. Live for yourself! People may not understand how you're feeling but who gives a flying f***! Don't make people try to understand, just do what makes you happy. I hope things start looking up. They will get better. I promise. The struggle is real.
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  • Posted

    hi micheal im sorry to see how unwell you are i know the medications can sometimes bring you problems as well ! have you any family and friends that you could call on if you needed a supportive helping person ! please get back to your doctor and see if theres something else he can suggest to try ! take care and good luck david
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  • Posted

    Hi Michael, I feel your pain.  I am where you are and ask myself the same questions.  Why do we carry on?  Because it's what we do, it's expected of us, we have to keep going, we wake up in the morning, plod on through the day, go to bed, if lucky, sleep, and then do it all over again!  We have to keep going, there must be some hope for us, otherwise for what reason have we suffered so far?  Please cling on to that hope and keep posting.  I wish you the strength to carry on. xx
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  • Posted

    I can't aderstend you don't like the world or you don't love yourself?

    If you love your self don't worry about the world stay in live for your self be iteligent my consolor told me you to intelegent to kill your self is rith!

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  • Posted

    How do you know you won't meet someone to share your life with next week...or next month?  The only thing anyone really has when they are as low as you is HOPE. 

    Can you honestly tell me that is there is absolutely nobody who would miss you or grieve for you if you died?  If that is the case I am so sorry for you and I can fully understand why you feel as you do.

    My heart aches for you, it really does.  Have you tried everything that the doctor has to offer?  I just feel that you aren't yet giving up, not quite.  Please, please try a little longer, just to be sure that you would be doing the right thing by giving up on the gift of life we have been given.  This is your one and only shot at it Michael, be sure before you end it.

    I will keep you in my thoughts.


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  • Posted

    The whole way your energy is focused on hating life and being negative will absolutely, undoubtable bring on more negative stuff to you. Death is not a an answer or any way to solve an are human which consistes of a body, said  a mind and a soul. Basically energy. You must get that. Reason to understand this is your soul to learn self love, its a life lesson to grow and if you do not learn it and make a poor rash choice you will be reborn over and over until you learn it. Whether you believe in this stuff or not energy is energy. Scientifically we are cells and energy. So being that said you have to change the way you are thinking and seeing your world. Therapy is probably the perfect start but you really need a good therapist. Maybe even a retreat which has therapists available. Depression is treatable, anxiety is treatable but you have to conjour up the will to want and believe that there is good and happiness that will absolutely emerge. The world is and will be what you make of it. Throwing in the towel is ery counter productive in any treatment. Maybe take a vacation to a simplier life. Maybe even move away to a less stressful part of the world. There are choices and options available. Maybe how you live or where you live is hurting you. People tend to feel they must heal and must go about life as is in the box or same  enviornment they have always been living in. Its not true at all. There is a huge planet out there and tons of different places to live and much less streesful, simplier life might be a fantastic begining. The bigger the city the mire frazzled an overwhelmed person will become. If starting over and moving is an option look about on the internet. Look up retreats, look up best placed for a simple life  and see. There arent any words to say to heal you because you have decieded it is way easier to be sad and see nothing good or positive so that is all you will see. It is not true by the way. You are falsely living. You are not alone at all. I could ramble examples of how fortunate and lucky you are but in your dismal state of mind it would be useless. But it can all change honestly.  Clinical depression is something that wiuld need treatment, but changing your enviornment would be most benificial as well. Spiritual, universal stuff is good and helpful as well, but when you are ready to open your eyes and see how beautiful nature is and the world is, until then seek treatment for the clinical depression and see if you can get in a retreat. Good luck on your journey. Maybe even go to a local rescue and save a lonely, helpless  animal or two and see how wonderful and useful and important you really are. You absoluteky are a vital part of this world. Absolutely!
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