Romantic Relationship Triggering Anxiety and Depression?
Posted , 3 users are following.
So I do not know where to turn. I am in between therapists right now due to insurance and companies switching, so I think this would be a good try.
I have been fighting anxiety and depression for almost 3 years and never got a hold of it. Since I have been diagnosed I have been off and on meds and have seen many therapists. And there is one aspect of it that I cannot get a hold of and that is with romantic relationships. When I am single I feel confident, happy, joyful, and funny. My true personality is there, even at the beginning of a relationship. But once the emotional attachment comes, so does my depression and anxiety. 2 relationships have fallen to this, and it feels like the third one might.
Here is my current situation. I have a lovely woman that I am with and we reached the emotional attachment and my depression and anxiety has came. I have mood swings and crazy thoughts that I cannot stop running in my head. The thoughts that come are if something is different than normal, it automatically falls to the worst thought. For example, if she doesn't show affection like she normally does, I think that she is not interested in me anymore, or that I have done something to upset her. And I sit there and ponder about it, just thinking, and then I fall into deeper holes. I have had a few break downs because of these thoughts and she has been there. But I feel that I am out of control with this. I don't know what to think or believe anymore. And the final thing that crosses my mind is that maybe I am meant to be alone forever, and that it would be better for her that if I wasn't apart of her life anymore because I bring to much hurt on her with this. And everytime I think of that, I cry.
I am at a loss of what to do with myself. Because of this I feel like she has grown distant and I feel that it will never go back to normal. I have no reason to be upset or have crazy thoughts like these. She has never given me a reason to believe these things. I have been searching for the root cause of these problems. Maybe it is because I do not have a close/open relationship with my parents or family? Maybe its because I keep thinking I am not good enough for myself? Maybe it is because I had a guilty childhood? Maybe its because I have been cheated on? Do romantic relationships trigger depression and anxiety?
I am at a loss of myself and with what to do. I am seeking help and I am thinking that therapy isn't helping anymore. Maybe I am just not built to love.
Does anyone feel the same way? Or has the same problem? Or even have advise?
2 likes, 7 replies
k45249 trey94818
Posted
Have you explained your mental illness to her so that she knows that she is, in no way, doing anything wrong? I too have had thoughts recently that my boyfriend of 10 years would be better off without me and that I have become a burden to him. I try to make sure he knows what I'm feeling and his reassurance helps a little. When I start to convince myself that I'm making him miserable the things that he has said to reassure me pop into the thoughts and make me feel less anxious.
trey94818 k45249
Posted
k45249 trey94818
Posted
That's great! I think having someone other than ourselves to be a better person for is really helpful. Every time you start to think about how much better off she might be without you remember who you are underneath the illnesses and fight to be more like him. I know, easier said than done but with the right therapy it is something that can be done. I believe you mentioned OCD. That's a really tough one. My mom suffers from it and she was failed by the healthcare system and gave up. You're actively seeking treatment still and that means there is absolutely hope for you and your relationship.
k45249
Posted
Sorry, I just went back and read your post. It must have been another one I read today with OCD.
I know all about anxiety and depression first hand and even though I've had a really bad week I keep reminding myself that this WILL NOT last forever. As long as I'm getting help, I will feel better eventually. I don't always believe myself, but I say it anyway.
trey94818 k45249
Posted
Thank you for your support. Unfortunately last night the third relationship fell to this. I do not like the animal that I become in a relationship and I really want to get better. Who knows, maybe I'm just not built to love.
k45249 trey94818
Posted
I don't think that's true at all. Some people just have road blocks that they have to hurdle. We're all a lot stronger than our illnesses want us to believe.
su1977 trey94818
Posted
I don't believe you need to know the root cause to find a solution so don't focus your attention or spend energy on trying to figure out what caused this. Instead spend the time and energy on moving forward; what you can do to make it better. While I'm not a doctor my any means, it sounds like to me you have problems with trust. You say you're fine when you're single but when the relationship becomes more emotional you get scared. Its tough allowing yourself to fall in love because that means you have to trust someone with your emotions. It means there's a risk they could hurt you. I think that's what it comes down to. You're afraid someone will hurt you and it's not a pleasant feeling getting hurt by someone you care for. I don't have any advice on how to get over this. I just know that if you never take the risk you're guaranteed to never find the happiness you want. By taking the risk, you have a very good chance you will.