Ruminating out of control. Im here but not HERE.
Posted , 4 users are following.
I have been dealing with anxiety for at least 5 years now. The first couple of years wasnt so bad because i was in high school and things were much simpler back then. I'm on my fourth year of college now and my anxiety has just kicked in in what feels like full throttle. I find that i ruminate about almost every single thing throughout the day and theres nothing i can do about it. For example, the other day i needed to work on my lab report and then read one of my textbooks. But instead of just working on my report and reading the textbook, i sat there for about 10-15 minutes just repeating in my head "i need to do my lab report then read the textbook." Another example is when i take an exam or quiz, ill stare at my name on the top of the paper making sure its there, and then ill turn it in and walk to my desk asking myself, " wait, i wrote my name didnt i?". That's just some example. The most annoying part is that i obsess over things that aren't even negative! I also have sort of a twitching problem where ill have these compulsions to nod my head rapidly and clear my throat rapidly.
Im studying to be a mechanical engineer and i feel like my brain is definitely capable of great things. I've had many experiences with understanding concepts that others cant. I know i have the potential to be good at what i do but my biggest problem is that this anxiety is poisoning my brain. It isnt as sharp as it once was. Its hard for me to gain control of my thoughts. My mind wanders even while i have an important task at hand. I have tried meditation, medicine for a short while and now this forum. I fear that if i dont get this under control soon my life will be miserable. This anxiety plus the fact that im in an awkard time in life ( about to finish college, become an actual adult, dont have any money but have lots of responsibilities) is really weakening my mind. My anxiety also gets worse from the pressures of my family as well.(Dads retired and poor, moms still working but poor and has signs of early Alzheimers, siblings are much older than i am but unsuccessful and cant help my parents much less themselves, im kind of the last hope for my parents to have an easier life) i guess this last part was kind of off topic but it does contribute to my problem.
So there it is, i shared my life with you guys and i am interested to hear if anyone has the same problems and what you are doing to solve them!
0 likes, 7 replies
jan34534 anthonyle910
Posted
I am so sorry you are going through this! Anxiety is a nasty thing to deal with.
Ive had it since elementary school.
I can definitely make you ruminate. But you can still do great things in life!
Have you ever considered speaking with a counselor? They see this every day and can help you manage your anxiety. It really helped me a lot .
The other thing that helped me and still does is listening to audio meditations On you tube for anxiety, ruminating, sleep, etc.
there is a great meditation called detachment from overthinking on YouTube. It discusses Rumination and how to manage that. I think it would really help you!!
I use earbuds for a better effect. So many audios to choose from.
another important meditation is one on mindful breathing meditation .
Feel Better
be good to yourself and don't not to take life too seriously.
remember to smile and laugh and do things you enjoy the calm you down
??????
anthonyle910 jan34534
Posted
I'll definitely try the music idea thank you!
frazzled anthonyle910
Posted
Hi anthony
You wrote: "I also have sort of a twitching problem where ill have these compulsions to nod my head rapidly and clear my throat rapidly." How long has that been going on? Did you have those type tics as a child?
I also read what seems like obsessive thinking, attention deficit or lack of focus and lots of anxiety. Have you spoken to a physician about these conditions? What came to mind (because I knew a gal who had these symptoms) is that you might have a mild form of Tourette syndrome (unfortunately it is not listed as a condition in the list of this community) but you might want to research it. It's rare at your age and the tics might just be the result of too much stress but I'd check it out with a doc, if I were you.
then too you have a tremendous load of stress/anxiety that is interfering with your thinking and doing. You wrote that you tried medication for a while. What did you take and why? Would you consider taking mediation again if the right med can be found to alleviate a lot of your anxiety?
Thank you for sharing your life and I wish I had some answers for you but I'm limping thru my life and have been for the past 30+ years with panic disorder, anxiety disorder, depression, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and PTSD. I take medication and I also attended group therapy for quite a while that helped a lot.
It's a wonderful thing that you reached out here for answers and I hope others are more helpful than I have been. For me the answer was medication coupled with group therapy and trying to eliminate some of the stress in my life. I feel soo sorry for you because you have a LOT of stress -- facing the unknown once out of collage, aging parents that apparently rely on you (that's a HUGE of stress in itself), and anxiety coupled with obsessive thinking and difficulty in focusing (remembering as in your name on the test sheet). These are all troubling.
My advise is to see a therapist and unload all of this on that person who may be able to suggest how to handle your stress and consider medication.
Good luck and my best wishes.
anthonyle910 frazzled
Posted
I really appreciate you sharing your story with me. And thanks for the advice. To answer your questions, I had those tics when I was younger but very mildly. I was able to control it more back then. Now it kind of just drives me crazy if I don't do it. Sort of like someone who needs to smoke a cigarette. Not as sever of course but very similar in satisfaction. As far as the medicine goes, I can't remember the name of it since it was so long ago. All I remember was that it was an antidepressant and I didn't like it much. It made me very tired and drowsy. So I decided I would just try to muscle through it without the meds.
mac58 anthonyle910
Posted
Wow. You do seem to perceive people in terms of financial capability and you also say that your siblings are unsuccessful. Unsuccessful in what way?
It isn't generally a good idea to judge people on their financial worth. I think you would be better employed in working out how you and your siblings are going to care for your mother when her dementia becomes worse. That will be a real challenge and you will grow as a human being if you take this on, thinking of others rather than obsessing about your possible projected wealth.
Having said that, you seem to be suffering from anxiety at the moment, which is a very common problem. You don't mention what steps you've taken to get help. Therapy and counselling, combined with medication if needed, has the best outcome.
I do hope that you realise your potential and reach your goals. You will get plenty of support from this forum.
anthonyle910 mac58
Posted
Thanks for the advice!
I mean, I do love my siblings very much. And I don't mean to sound arrogant when I say they're " unsuccessful ". I know that success is defined differently for everyone. I just mean in this particular instance, their financial stability really affects our parents well being and their own for that matter. When the time comes for my parents to stop working my siblings wouldn't be able to much less want to help them. So you can see how that weighs a burden being the only one who actually is concerned for them. I just wouldn't want to see my parents end up working till the day they die or end up homeless. But I get what you're saying about talking to my siblings about it and working it out. I'll definitely do that!
mac58 anthonyle910
Posted
I am sorry - I think I completely misinterpreted what you originally wrote.
I can see why you're worried about the future. Maybe you're feeling that the financial responsibility for your parents is going to devolve on you, and that is definitely scary.
In fact, that is very likely the reason why you're having brain fog at the moment.
I do think that therapy will help you. You seem extremely open to suggestions and I truly hope that you get some help and start to feel better soon.