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Sorry AGAIN for posting yet ANOTHER post about this but I just want to explain where I am at the minute. It probably started round about 2/3 months ago this anxiety and it started off from a specific phobia and then I gradually started to overcome this then I began to speak to someone from 42nd street which started making me feel worse then the 2nd time I seen her I was okay and now I'm finding myself in this horrendous place. I've gone from worrying about phobias to on my way then feeling crappy again, I had my hair dyed, I worried about that thinking I was having an allergic reaction because I felt like I was going to pass out in the hairdressers then had a constant headache in my temples for 6 days assuming it was something to do with my brain, then was worrying because my eyesight went into some sort of weird HD mode where everything looked to vibrant and too real to be real, then I began to question my existance day in day out and started questioning life which wasn't wise considering I feel anxious anyway and because of this it's been a constant none stop thing every single day and near enough every minute of the day for 2 months straight and I just feel like I've lost myself in my brain and got something wrong with me and worried because I have these weird feelings around my family that aren't the same because I feel so detatched from them all and now I'm sat here wondering why I feel asthough I don't belong to my life when I know I do, I feel like a stranger to myself and I feel like my family are strangers but yet I know they're not and they're all I want to be around but yet I don't want to be around anyone because I feel this way I hate myself I hate how I feel I feel uncomfortable being like myself I literally feel like curling up and crying for ages but when I do cry it brings a sense of normality in me back and then I question if this person I am now is something I just zone into or something and then it makes me feel all crazy and I go back to feeling like this I am so so so fed up I don't know what to do I am screaming inside I am literally tearing my mum apart aswell as my self and I can't stand it I really cannot I see no light in this tunnel, it's just constant pain and anger inside of me I want to feel me again but I feel like I've lost myself I don't even want to leave my bed
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