same old

Posted , 4 users are following.

Sorry AGAIN for posting yet ANOTHER post about this but I just want to explain where I am at the minute. It probably started round about 2/3 months ago this anxiety and it started off from a specific phobia and then I gradually started to overcome this then I began to speak to someone from 42nd street which started making me feel worse then the 2nd time I seen her I was okay and now I'm finding myself in this horrendous place. I've gone from worrying about phobias to on my way then feeling crappy again, I had my hair dyed, I worried about that thinking I was having an allergic reaction because I felt like I was going to pass out in the hairdressers then had a constant headache in my temples for 6 days assuming it was something to do with my brain, then was worrying because my eyesight went into some sort of weird HD mode where everything looked to vibrant and too real to be real, then I began to question my existance day in day out and started questioning life which wasn't wise considering I feel anxious anyway and because of this it's been a constant none stop thing every single day and near enough every minute of the day for 2 months straight and I just feel like I've lost myself in my brain and got something wrong with me and worried because I have these weird feelings around my family that aren't the same because I feel so detatched from them all and now I'm sat here wondering why I feel asthough I don't belong to my life when I know I do, I feel like a stranger to myself and I feel like my family are strangers but yet I know they're not and they're all I want to be around but yet I don't want to be around anyone because I feel this way I hate myself I hate how I feel I feel uncomfortable being like myself I literally feel like curling up and crying for ages but when I do cry it brings a sense of normality in me back and then I question if this person I am now is something I just zone into or something and then it makes me feel all crazy and I go back to feeling like this I am so so so fed up I don't know what to do I am screaming inside I am literally tearing my mum apart aswell as my self and I can't stand it I really cannot I see no light in this tunnel, it's just constant pain and anger inside of me I want to feel me again but I feel like I've lost myself I don't even want to leave my bed

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Tanya, How old are you and are take any medication or on any talk therapies ? The feeling of want tot stay in bed is one of the telling symptoms of depression.

    You feel a stranger Because these things that bother you are just not easy to share with the people close to you. You need someone impartial that you can off load to and bring you back down to where you need to be.

    There are loads of people on here that you can talk to, find the one you feel you can trust and I am sure they will guide you thru.

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  • Posted

    You really need to see a Dr with all these ailments. It's impossible to diagnose anything when not qualified. You do seem to be depressed, but lethargy can be a sympton of other things.
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  • Posted

    Hey tanya

    Im feeling just as bad as you.

    But I had this before when I was 14yrs old and eventually I got better and I know you will aswell.

    Remember its our anxiety talking so we are just falling deeper into this. Try hard to ignore it as much as possible

    And remember you will overcome this. I know its hard because im trying to do the same but as each day passes you will gain more strength.

    Strength doesnt come from what you can do it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldnt do.

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    • Posted

      The most worrying feeling is thoughts of like you're not yourself, you don't recognise yourself then that makes you feel insane and it's like ahhhhhhh wtf haha

      I felt a little better today when I went to see my grandma it took my mind off it all and I felt pretty much normal with the occasional thought popping in but when I left it all came back again and it makes me feel as though it's some little thing I zone into but I don't know really sad 

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    • Posted

      Yeah sort of, like interacting with people makes me feel weird cause I know that what I've become just isn't right and isn't me in the slightest and it makes me angry because I should be able to interact with people specially at 15 years of age not sat in worrying my life away :@ 
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    • Posted

      Tanya I have all the symptoms that you've been talking about.

      Please keep me updated of when you recovery and what steps you took for recovery.

      I dont kniw how to msg privately so I can give you ny email address

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