Scared and convinced of lymphoma - Weight loss, body itch, swollen nodes and pain
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Hello all,
sorry in advance for the long text. I am 33 years old and am currently in a situation that seems hopeless to me: I strongly suspect that cancer is growing inside me. Unfortunately, my symptoms were, until recently, completely attributed to stress, or my psyche, so that no further diagnostics were ordered.
I must admit that I already had psychological problems in the past and was also treated for them. In addition, 3 years ago (2020, first wave of corona) after a strange infection (I suspect corona) with short fever, burning lungs, strange symptoms appeared. These took a toll on me for more than 1 year and led to many doctor visits showing up in my file. In 2021, a rather large lymph node (>1.5 cm) on the neck was noticed, which was clarified with contrast MRI and found to be benign.
Since 2022, those post infectious symptoms have faded out, healthwise I was quite well until March 2023.
At the end of March 2023, I suddenly had burning, dull pain on the sides of my neck and a feeling of tension in these places. The pain had nothing to do with classic internal neck pain, but felt like it was coming from soft tissues in the neck such as lymph nodes. Sometime in early-mid April this pain went away, at least I don't remember any symptoms worth mentioning. However, I was asked 1-2 times if I had lost weight, which surprised me since I actually ate quite a bit at that time. Unfortunately, I hardly controlled my weight during that time, but normally I was around 86-87 kg (at 1.83 m height).
Now since the end of June (26.06 was more or less the beginning) I suddenly felt really bad physically. I had strong heartburn, chest pain, slight aches in my limbs and a feeling of sickness. And again this pain in the neck as at the end of March, accompanied by frequent neck, jaw and headaches. In addition, a body-wide itching sensation occurred (some days scratching feels relieving, some days it does not). Furthermore, I now noticed a really objective weight loss on the scales: On 24.06 still 82.6 kg, last on 15.07 only 80.3 kg. And that, although I take a lot of calories to me.
I was therefore at 2 general practitioners, and 1 on-call doctor, who all said I should not worry, and it all comes from stress. The only thing that was done was a large blood count, which according to the doctor showed really great values and no deviations. No sign of a (reactivated) infection in the blood. One doctor said that I was letting myself down too much and that I should do sports despite my complaints.
Since last week the complaints at the neck became then really worse. It felt as if the left neck, the neck, the left shoulder were somehow inflamed. The pains got worse towards the evening. I saw a throat doctor, which found possible pus from a bacterial infection, quite deep in the throat and prescribed me antibiotics. She also found enlarged lymph nodes in the neck, one was 1.5 cm.
Now I am 6 days after the treatment and still no big improvement. In contrast, the body wide itch gets more persistent and stronger in intensity, plus the pain is now constantly there. I have a lot of appetite and eat a lot, but seems I still continue to lose. I have big anxiety to check my weight now.
I am really convinced to have lymphoma, or even worse some other kind of cancer with lower treatability. Tomorrow I have an appointment with another throat doctor, but it was mainly for checking the pus in the throat. I do not know how to convince him to check me for cancer. I am very unconfident and struggle to stand up for me. But this weight loss is really crazy, and usually I always struggled to lose weight, even with diet. No i do not diet, do not sport and lose around 1 kg per week.
How would be your opinion on this situation, are the docs so far right and its just related to mental problems? I dont know what to do. Its so hard to pretend that everything is fine and to live the normal everyday life ðŸ˜
Thanks in advance,
Best,
Stefan
0 likes, 2 replies
jan34534 stefan34509
Posted
Sorry you are going through this. However, if you had lymphoma, it would have shown up in the blood count that you had done.
Keep in mind, that anxiety and stress can make us believe things that are not true. we can actually convince ourselves that something is terribly wrong when it’s not. When I was in my 20s, I had all sorts of sensations and symptoms, and I convinced myself that I had MS. I thought for sure I had it but I did not.
I’ve been through that many times.
Our thoughts are very powerful whether they are positive or negative. I know that I have to work on my negative thoughts otherwise I start believing everything that I think.
The swollen lymph nodes are most likely due to the bacterial infection you had with the pus.
The doctors would have let you known if they were concerned about anything. They have enough experience to be able to detect illnesses.
When we blow things up in our mind, what happens is that fear takes over and we are not able to think logically or factually. And the facts are that the doctors did not see anything concerning and your blood test was excellent.
people’s weight can fluctuate a little up and down. That’s normal.
We cannot diagnose ourselves.
you can always get a second opinion from another doctor, but it will most likely be the same as the doctor you have already seen. Up to you.
stefan34509 jan34534
Posted
Thank you very much Jan for your answer.
yes you are right, it is actually possible to experience symptoms from diseases you are afraid of. How were you able to deal with your MS anxiety in the past, and particularly, what happened with those symptoms?
After finishing the antibiotics I was measuring my weight again: It was at 82 kg (80,3 kg was 10 days before). This was a pleasant surprise.
But: The pain symptoms in the lymph node region of my neck/throat did not get better, it´s nearly same as one week ago, when the pus was detected. Now the follow-up check showed no pus anymore, but still no symptom relieve. Instead, this chronic body-wide itch gets more annoying.
The doctor yesterday said its my flower allergy, but I do not have any running nose or itchy eyes, which I always had when allergies were striking me.
I feel so insecure and do not know what to do. My mind and gut feeling tells me that something serious is wrong with my body. Plus it tortures me, that many cancer diagnosis were preceded by multiple doctor visits, where the patients were told not to worry, its all from stress, etc.
At the same time I know, that I have generally an anxiety problem. This gives me a hard time to differentiate if those symptoms originate from my mind or if they have an organic cause. Should I just let go, but risk that I miss an early diagnosis of something serious?