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I'm 23 years old, I've had anxiety for about 2 years now and I'd say I've coped with it okay up until a couple months ago. I'm not sure what has started it off but I'm basically aware of my own heart 24/7, I constantly think I'm dying or that my heart is going to 'just stop', it's not because of palpitations it's more the opposite like I think my heart is not being fast enough and it might just stop for no reason?!
Sometimes I'm fine one minute and then out of nowhere feel as though I can't breathe or that I'm literally about to just drop dead! It's horrible and I can't stop thinking about it, it's beginning to really affect my life everyday, I hate leaving my house and have even phoned in to work sick as I just can't go in because I have panic attacks and think I'm going to pass out or die at work or anywhere really!
I hate being alone! Night time is always scary as hell for me, sometimes I lay awake till 4am tossing and turning and just focusing on my breathing.
My breathing is another thing that triggers my heart worries. I feel like I have to force breathing otherwise I might stop breathing, I feel like I can't take a deep breath and the more I try the worse it gets.
I get skipped heart beats and waves of fear that I'm just going to go.
I've found myself doing weird things, like constantly googling my symptoms, I've downloaded apps on my phone to record my pulse which I use about 15 times a day!! (it's always normal!) and I ALWAYS have my hand on my chest feeling my heartbeat. Constantly. At work, at home, walking around shops I'm feeling my heartbeat!
I took myself to the hospital about a week ago, had an ECG, blood tests and they even did x ray on my lungs and there was nothing wrong with me it all came back fine. I thought this anxiety would go away after some reassurance but it hasn't
I'm not expecting answers but just to know that maybe someone out there has the same problem or some hope that I can get over this would be helpful. I'm thinking g of doing cbt as I cannot carry on being scared every single day that I'm about to die. I'm so scared of dying that I'm not actually living my life! I hate it and I know there's nothing wrong but I get scared of things like sudden death and just that maybe my heart will just stop, for no reason
Any reply would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou.
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