scared of ven!!!! need to get help!!!

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hi all i am a 30 year old happily married man who has suffered with deppresion most of his adult life. i have been on citalipram for the last 3 years but have now been changed to ven! . i have very dark periods of anger and social phobbia , it kills me that i get so nasty with my wife and my 3 kids who are soo loving andsupportive . i am scared , this time it feels worse , darker , harder its affecting everything . one minute im ok but the next im boiling with rage or hiding away in tears. is this how its going to be for the rest of my life . it brakes my heart to hear my 6 year old daughter tell my little boy that daddy didnt mean to shout its just because he hasnt taken his happy pill !!! am frightened of taking the ven , cant find that much positive as opposed to all the negative , citalipram side affect were ok eventually but this seems worse . i dont want to feel numb,lifeless,emotionless but then i cant carry on feeling as i do. my gp is very supportive and previously i have seen a counseller who was very helpfull . please can someone give me a ray of hope . one minute im up then im down , one minute im horny then i cant be bothered , instead of having 1 sociable drink i lock myself away and drink a bottle of vodka!!! i have no reson or explanation for the way i behave or for the things i do but i know that something has got to change for the sake of my marriage and my wonderfull family. please if anyone has any advice or help please get back to me . many thanks

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  • Posted

    well im on it now !!!! not sure how i should feel but jus feel angry and tired and uptight still . hopefully it cann and will get better.have been showing my wonderfull wife round this site and hopefully she can now understand that little bit better what it is we are all going through.hope the ven starts to make the dark clouds and the storms of anger pass over .!!!!!
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  • Posted

    Hey there dont give up on Venlafaxine, (by the way what brand are you taking is is Effexor or Rodomel or another, as there are HUGE diff in experiences from one to another apparently. I have been taking Effexor brand of venlafaxine for over 10 years and my major depression did have peaks and flows but looking back I know it was because I had certain 'issues' I needed to deal with and could only do it under my counsillor which I saw once a week for quite some time and there is no way that I could have gotton thru without her. I needed to \"get things out\" stuff I thought didnt bother me any more, but boy my subcons'ce was having issues with a long forgotten and suppressed past, Get yourself back to your counsillor, do it today. Its not cause your \"getting worse\" its cause your getting better and your subcon's thinks your ready to deal with some stuff and has dug up a pile of it and delivered it hot and steaming to the front of the back of your mind.... pls go see your counsillor talk talk talk talk, it will take time but boy it is so worth it!!!! I look back now and cant believe sometimes how I got thru the bad times but I did and you just gotta do it too. Sending you lots of good vibes man

    K

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  • Posted

    well end of first weekand feel sh*te. stiil very anxiouse and angry.keep going hot and cold , dry mouth and shakes , spaced out and tired is it supposed to be like this . the tears still come but all i feel is numb , is this the ven or is it my mind . going to see gp again tomorow these tabs make me feel worse than ever also going to get appointment with counciller again he helped so much last time.need to do bloody something fo the sake of my kids and my marriage .i fel like such a bloody asshole right now like a bully , keep shouting and going mad over the smallest stupid things kids are walking on egg shells and the wife is just staying quiet to avoid any confrontation , why does it have to be like this and why do we allways hurt the ones we love so much . will keep updated .
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  • Posted

    saw gp yesterday not much help , told me that tabs will take 3-4 weeks to get into system and that side effects are different in each case. grrr8 slept all day yesterday , no energy or life .numb and dark .broke down today while actually talking to my wife . it was good to finally talk but not sure if she reallises just how dark and low i feel right now. i realised how painfull and hard i am making it for her and the kids and i love them all so much the last thing i wanna do is hurt or push them away. i feel like the most selfish person on earth right now but i really cant see any change or light at the end of my tunnel yet ..... i just want my life back ! did manage to get apointment with counsillor though even though its not till nov 5th !!!!! will keep writting , in the hope that tis is some kind pf therapy not sure if it works or not but i just feel like the only person i have to talk to right now is the dog and myself !
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  • Posted

    well its not been good since my last comment have had a really bad week, something snapped,flipped went on and i just los it .sooooo scared.

    drove over 80 miles with teaqrs in my eyes , didnt know where i was going or wha i was gonna do!!! finally stopped at birchanger services on the m11 . parked up cried a lot decided i couldnt and didnt want to be a failure anymore and didnt wanna hurt my family .....so affter a while i walked from the services car park out onto the road and found myself looking over the m11 looking down on the motorway from the roundabout above then i stood on the crash barrier , gripped the side rails and decided it would be better if i just went.............

    .....but i couldnt do it , everytime i closed my eyes all i saw was my wife and kids smilling at me i tried to climb over about 3 times but i just couldnt do it .

    eventually i returned to the car park in fits of tears feeling even more of a failure than before.

    after some period of time i started the long drive home , agin crying constantly.

    upon returning home we argued again , i drank a large quantaty of vodka again and tried to sleep on the sofa ....again

    my paranoia and jealousy and rage getting worse as each day goes on.

    the next morning after another argument i finally broke down , i cried untill i cried no more and toldmy wife everything even about the stupid sellfish event the night before, my kids came in and saw me in pieces , they started to cry and this in turn made things 100 times worse.

    finally for fear of what to do my wife rang my gp who advised her to take me to our local a and e and see the on call trickcyclist.

    i am now uder the care of the local home crises tam from our mental health department they phone and do home visits etc to check on my state of health. they have increased my meddication and givin me sleeping. pills.they are treatingme and i finally feel i am being listend to . but do i feel any better................no

    i shake , i cry , we still argue i fell dreadfull , im loosing weight i still cant sleep (even on pills) and my head is buzzing with 10000 paranoid thoughts a day. am back to the mental health center tomorow so we shall see what it brings

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  • Posted

    Hey there!

    The side effects of Ven are different for all. I was on prozac and must have had every side effect listed! It did my head in. Within those 8 weeks I lost almost everything, my partner my job. Ended up being arrested which was a good thing as the crisis team took over. They put me on Ven, luckily things got better.

    I then had accident in car, had problems with my family and had dosage put up to 225. I do drink most days now, not too much though, 2 or 3 pints or half bottle of wine. However a bottle of vodka is going to counteract the good of ven completely!

    I am on a 12 week course of counselling, which seems to help, but its one step at a time.

    The 1st step is to talk to your family, then give the ven a chance to kick it. This can take upto 8 weeks, which can be hell. If you have bad thoughts tell someone, dont bottle it up. Once the ven kicks in you can start addressing your problems, which is the best time to get counsellling. Mine is helping me re-structure my life, get more exercise, do something new etc.

    I was on ven 10 years ago, it worked then after I had a break down, and managed to come off it after about 8 months. Maybe your wife could got to counselling with you! There are also many useful books often at the local library dealing with this disease! There also plenty of websites.

    Just remember you are not alone!

    I have a beautiful daughter, whenever I feel crap or have dark feelings I try to think of happy times with her, of which I have many!

    Keep your chin up

    Stu

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  • Posted

    hi all after a few good days the downward spiral has started again. dark angry periods of anxiouse and paranoid mania is gripping hold of me at all times of the day and night. i sweat i shake i shout i cry but at least i have mannaged to stay off the booze (thats been a battle in itself).we keep talking things through butsometimes it feels like we r going round in circles or i feel guilty for putting so much onto my wife. i saw my gp yesterday and she has raised my ven to 225mg and has also perscribed 2.5mg of olanzapine wich is to take the edge off my anxiety n paranoia she also suggested i make contact with my crises team again to see if they can further help me but as many of u know its so hard to pick up the phone and make that call.i feel ringing them is like an addmision of madness and im allways afraid of what they will sugest i realise its a stupid outlook and that they r only there to help me but i cant help it. im scared to be around people incase i open my mouth or get angry and yet im also scared of being alone cos thats when the paranoia takes hold.i still dont feel i know who i am or that i am in control of my depresion but each day is a blessing i guess cos it could have been worse. thanks every1 for your comments and i guess were all in this together.!!!!
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  • Posted

    GET OFF VENLAFAXINE NOW! No one who experienced an increase in anxiety, irritability, agitation, anger, aggression, impulsive or unusual behaviour, worsening depression and suicidal thought should be on Venlafaxine. Please look at the FDA website in the USA which requires all patients to be aware of this possible reaction to venlafaxine. People who have had such reactions to an antidepressant has gone on to kill themselves and/or others, has gotten themselves arrested, has lost their families and jobs, has impulsively and friviously spend their money and got themselves in financial troubles and difficulties. None of you should be taking venlafaxine at all. Unfortunately doctors are totally useless at recognising these side affects of venlafaxine and usually attibute it to your orginal depression or problem and they usually just increase your dosis. If you do not feel like yourself, if you feel your personality has changed on venlafaxine, if you think you have started to behave in very unusual way, get off venlafaxine as quickly as possible before it completely ruins your life.

    Venlafaxine is a mood altering substance, an a stimulant, it can have the exact same effect on some people as crack cocaine and you can literally start to behave like a crack cocaine addict on these antidepressants. However you have to slowly stop taking venlafaxine to avoid serious withdrawal symptoms. Doctors love to use polypharmacy, ie. treatment with multiple drugs to counteract the side affects of some antidepressant, however, all these drugs seriously messes with your mind and you can literally end up being a complete stranger to yourself and everyone around you. Venlafaxine is really bad shit and it is a complete and utter lie by the medical profession and the pharmaceutical companies that antidepressants are \"safe\", they are not safe. They are labelled as being safe because nobody really understand or knows what they really do or how they work. As a result lots of people have very strange and bizarre experience when they take these antidepressants, but the medical profession and the drug companies are in complete denial about these effects that antidepressants can have on people.

    Also the New NICE guidelines on the treatment of depression clearly states that people respond to antidepressant in the first 2 weeks. In other words the effect that an antidepressant has on you is immediate. However you become desenstitised to the effect and it is less dramatic the longer you take it. In other words you just get used to feeling like a completely crazed lunatic than you did in the begining. So if you had a bad reaction to venlafaxine in the first month you should not be taking it at all. IF you doctor simply increased your dosis instead of taking you off venlafaxine it is because your doctor is ignorant at recognising and realising when someone is having a bad reaction to venlafaxine.

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