Scared that I harmed my son

Hi everyone.

A apologize in advance for the barely coherent wall of text I am about to write. I am very scared that I have harmed my baby, and I know that no one can give me accurate answers here, but I have a need to somehow share this with people, so maybe to warn others or possibly seek some modicum of reassurance.

So, I have a 2.5 year old son. He's using pacifiers since birth, but i the last year or so, he's been using them only for sleeping, or when he's very upset. Basically, in order to calm him down, or help him fall asleep, we give him one. During sleeping, he often drops it from his mouth, and sometimes is so tight asleep that he doesn't notice, but sometimes he wakes up, so we put it back in his mouth. I would say that in the first year of his life, he used it maybe for 7-8 hours a day, possibly more. In the last year, or year a half, he's probably using the pacifier for 3-5 hours a day.

When he was first born, we used to sterilize them in boilling water. After a few months, we started washing them in the dishwasher. We would put them in the bracket with the silverware. In oiur dishwasher, that bracket goes to the bottom.

The other night, when my wife was putting him to sleep, she came to me and said that the pacifier tastes like detergent. She took a clean one and said that it, too, tastes like detergent. I tried sucking them, and I wasn't immediately sure. We washed one by hand and gave it to him. Note, he did not complain about the pacifier, my wife took it in her mouth because she had to hold it, and her hands were occupied. Now, she would occasionally try the pacifiers before, and didn't notice that taste. I cannot be certain how regularly did she try them, but I would say that at least once a month, or more frequently, she would put his pacifier in her mouth, for various reasons. Sometimes, if we were washing them by hand, we would notice that taste, but then we would rinse it better, and it was gone. But we didn't notice this for these that were washed in the dishwasher.

Now, we bought him new ones yesterday, and gave them those. I washed all the old ones in the dishwasher and tested them again. Indeed, there is a subtle, but noticeable detergent taste on them. It's not immediately obvious, you need to suck it forcefully for 15 seconds, or half a minute, before you start feeling this somewhat bitter and tingling sensation on your tongue and mouth.

Now I am scared beyond my wits that my son will fall sick. I have a number of questions running through my mind:

-How did we not notice this before?

-How is it possible that this happened? I looked online, and many, many people say they are washing pacifiers in the dishwasher. The companies that sell them say they can be washed like that. Doctors say so. Why is everone doing it if it is dangerous?

-Could it be that there is something wrong with our dishwasher? SO it's not rinsing correctly? Or maybe that the pacifiers wer old so they were damaged?

-Most importantly, what are the health risks? Presuming this taste was there all along, how much of the chemicals he was exposed to? Realistically, what are these quantities?

-He's not really talking yet. He has his own vocabulary for a lot of objects, and understands us very well. But he's not using correct words. He often uses an expression whcih repeats the final syllable of the word. He also has difficulties eating. He rejects solid food, and prefers paste. Could it be that it's caused by these chemicals? Maybe they're messing with his tastebuds or throat in some way? Maybe he has inflamed throat? We went regularly tot he pediatrician, and sometimes when he was sick, she checked his throat often (las time maybe a month ago), she says everything is fine.

-The thing I am most scared about: is it possible he could get cancer or some other serius disease from this? Is two years, more or less, of hourly daily exposure to these quantities of chemicals, enough to cause a cancer of some sort? There are very scary thoughts running through my mind. I'm thinking, if he gets cancer in the next 5 or 10 years, I'll know who to blame (myself). But say he doesn't get cancer in that period. Does it mean I can stop worrying? Could he get cancer 20 or 30 years from now because of this?

-I am also thinking: presume this is indeed as serious as I fear it is. Would it not become noticed already? Millions and millions of people are washing pacifiers in the dishwasher around the world, for decades now. It can't be that we're the only one whose dishawsher malfunctioned, or who had bad pacifiers so detergent got stuck on them? Wouldn't this already get noticed as a signficiant risk for childhood cancer or developmental problems? Would there not be more recommendations against this?

I know that no medical questions online can be answered with any reasonable amount of certainty. And it applies even more so to what I wrote here. But I guess I just had to vent somewhere.

Thank you for reading this.

Tl:dr washed pacifiers in the dishwasher, noticed detergent taste on them, scared my child will get sick with cancer

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