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Scared to death

Posted , 2 users are following.

louisecullett
louisecullett

Hi, really sorry but i don't really know where to turn at the moment, 

i have received a letter today from local compliance service/ part of the job centre to attend an interview to discuss change in 'circumstances', however, i'm not aware that there are any?

i sent off an application for maternity [icon]  grant, signed by my midwife last week, and this is the letter i have recieved, i have googled it because it sounded serious and benefit fraud comes up or that someone has reported you? i really do not understand any of this and i'm a little worried and confused i may be doing something wrong? 

my current situation.. i'm 20 years old, i'm 34 weeks pregnant, i finished my nursing course in june to go onto university but now with a baby i have had to defer the year, i have a boyfriend but he's always lived with his mum, and since september of last year i was homeless, until november when i moved in with a 'host provider' which is someone who rents a room (social services organised) which i claimed housing benefit with, i moved to a different host provider in february and then left to live in supervised supported housing until june. i found out i was pregnant in the middle of april (i have been pregnant since feb) despite being on the contraceptive pill (because i have my future to look forward to and had only been with my boyfriend since christmas/new year so did not want a baby), 

i found out i was pregnant. i did not want to throw myself into living with someone i had been with a few short months as i have already been unsettled and unstable as it is, he lives with his mum, i live alone, he comes to stop once or twice a week, but does come after work some weeks, stops over if i'm ill (pregnancy related) i go to stop at his mums some days or they all come for tea or i go to theirs for tea, we don't see each other a lot because he works but i provide for myself, i've never taken a penny from him until i know myself that i'm in a good position to be stable enough to live with someone and rely on someone (ie when i go to university) it sounds horrible to say i didnt plan to have a baby but it really could not be helped,

i wanted to wait until i was registered as a nurse with an income to support children should i want them, but this has happened and i have struggled to come to terms with it but i just couldn't get rid of a baby   it just wasn't the right time so this is my only choice really, should my boyfriend not be staying over? or not coming to my house? i know its both our fault but like i said i don't want to rely on someone and then everything be thrown upside down should we decide not be together some months down the line with a baby to worry about. 

sorry for such a long post, please if you have any advice or insight please share, thanks

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • SteV3
    SteV3 louisecullett

    Posted

    Hi Louise,

    I would calm down for a start, I know that is easy for me to say, but you don't really need the stress at thia point on top of your pregnancy.

    There are a number of reasons why they may of asked you to attend the interview, not for illegal reasons. Sometimes they visit a persons home, because someone may have reported that you have done something when you haven't. I know it sounds harsh but there are people out there that report others just because they hate them or just want to smear your name, it does go on a lot. Not myself, but friends of ours were summoned to court over housing benefit fraud which proved inconclusive in the court hearing.

    There maybe something wrong with their records on you, and they just want to check that they have the most up to date information, you will not know the reason until you attend. Most cases they would normally ask to do a home visit, so that counts out quiet a bit for a start.

    I hope that helps you, and try and calm done - I know it is easier said than done, but to me it sounds like something that they may have wrong, otherwise you would have been seen well before now.

    And, ignore what you read on the internet, it's often misleading information and does not help you in anyway. 

    Regards,

    Les.

    • louisecullett
      louisecullett SteV3

      Posted

      sorry i'm just a really bad worrier and would hate to think i'm doing something i shouldn't, i hate being on benefits and find it quite humiliating to be honest which is why no one knows and work wouldn't employ me again from just before september last year so this is really my only option from when i left college in june because i can't start uni until next year, it does make me feel better what you have said so thanks for taking the time to reply and put my mind at ease a little, i just can't believe someone would do something like that to me, i don't know anyone around where i am and have no family with me leaving care

      thank you 

    • SteV3
      SteV3 louisecullett

      Posted

      You're welcome Louise, some letters from the DWP, or Job Centre can be a daunting experience when you're young. Many people fall in to traps by accident through no fault of their own. I know there people that try to scam others, I get them myself, but I'm not easily led - too old to fall into their traps. My mother used to always keep a whistle by her house phone for when she got nuisance phone calls and then blow it down the phone, at the other end you can guarantee they are wearing headsets, so it's not a nice experience their end.

      You cannot help matters when they are genuine accidents, our last child was a shock, we already had two boys - and when we found another was due, well we had to have it. What shocked us even more was when she was born, we never thought we'd have a daughter. I guess it was meant to be, and we had not planned on having a girl so we had no names either, ready! Now, she's 14 (yes, she is a millennium baby, born in 2000), time just flies by these days.

      Leaving college is a big decision, but in your case it is for a good reason - you can still carry on University at later date, and still have a good career ahead. We have 3 children, but I am disabled by an accident in my early 20's - but we have managed, 2 boys aged 23 (Retail Store Manager), middle one is still in college doing Motor Vehicle Course and our daughter that wants to do Design/Media when she leaves school at 18. Looking back now, we would have never given up on any of our children, my wifes first pregnancy didn't go so well and she lost it at around 3 months. that was so depressing, we were still grieving after our 14 month old nephew whom died of meningitis.

      Anyway, may I wish you ("all") all the best for the future, and hope you get past this matter, without 'worrying' so much. I have been there many times, but "things in life usually happen for a reason", so they say - in my case that is so true, and I still believe in it.

      Best regards,

      Les.

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