Scared to say it out loud

Hi Nicki, That certainly sounds like depression. Please go through with a visit to your doctor. In all likelyhood you will find your doctor sympathetic to this illness, and will offer you the help you need.

I used to think I was just incapable of being happy. I have 3 kids and a secure marriage, but had issues from my past that have followed me all my adult life, but am now receiving the help I need. That help is there for you too. Depression is a terrible illness that does doesn't care who you are or what you have.

I know people who have had lovely childhoods and happy marriages and successful career's who are dogged by this illness. It isn't a weekness or a personality fault. There is help. No one thinks anything you say is attention seeking.

Please see your doctor and receive the help you deserve. There are lots of people on here who understand. We are all here for you.

Remember you are not alone. There is always understanding here

Best wishes.

Just one more thought, people often see depression as some one sitting in there dressing gown crying constantly. This is just not the case. It can be like that certainly but not always 100% of the time. Depression comes in varying degrees and can fluctuate on a daily basis. Many people have this illness have successful lives but still feel this emptiness, others don't function at all. We are all different and depression takes many forms.

Take care.

If you don't think you'll know what to say to the doctor, I suggested you write it down beforehand, and then read it when you get there to remind yourself. Doctors are used to listening to people trying to explain how they feel. I hope your doctor can help.

The general rule of thumb is, if you cannot sort it out yourself and it does not heal by itself then we have to seek help from a doctor who are trained to help us.

The longer you leave it the longer you will suffer, which is totally unnecessary.

Just gather up the strength and make an appointment, and most importantly please don't cancel the appointment this time.

This is not about your doctor, it is about you getting well again as quickly and by the shortest route possible, and your doctor is the only one who can facilitate that process.

Good luck

Hi Nikki

Given that you have been fighting this for some time it is clearly not a crisis and you explain in quite clear terms how you are feeling.

So you would explain to your doctor how you are feeling in the same way as we describe any physical problem that we are not sure whether or not we are making a fuss about nothing.

I would imagine that your doctor might prescribe you some medication but he will suggest counselling (where you talk and they listen - no judging by them).

There is also private counselling (which I am currently attending). NHS counselling and MIND (where I also went for counselling) you need to be referred by a doctor whereas I don't think that a private counsellor would require that.

You certainly want to see your doctor - obviously one that you have a relationship with if that is possible.