secondary infertility
Posted , 3 users are following.
My husband and I have been always dreaming about children. But unfortunately I was diagnosed with cancer of the uterus. The uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries were removed. At first I was crying a lot, I had a depression and I was even attending a psychologist. My husband supported me and cheered me up as much as he could. I felt so guilty, I knew how much he wants to have kids and I let him down. I was afraid he’ll leave me. And I actually thought he have to do so and find another woman, who has no problems with fertility. But my husband gave me so much love and support and we decided not to give up. We choose surrogacy as the best way out for us. But we are from France and this procedure here is illegal. We’ve been thinking about clinics in USA first, but their prices are huge! That’s why we are looking for clinics in Europe. What should we consider? Any tips?
0 likes, 5 replies
alisa88579
Posted
Hello everyone who is following my thread! As you know my husband and I are looking into surrogacy option. In our country surrogacy is illegal. So we're thinking about going abroad. Because of this, we will probably have to dig more and look for not only details about surrogacy process but also about legal aspects in different countries. That's why we are thinking about meeting with the lawyer in a couple of days. I think this is the best thing to start with our search. I hope the lawyer will share information about laws and rules considering surrogacy abroad. We've already made a list with some questions which we would like to ask the lawyer. Maybe you have some advices what is needed to be asked? I will appreciate if you help us with this task. I'm a little bit nervous. I really hope what the lawyer will help us to clarify some questions. I hope after our meeting it will be easier to find reproductive center where we could go to start our surrogacy process.
alisa88579
Posted
I should say there is something on my mind which bothering me. I really want to share it with you. Maybe you can relate to my situation and you will understand how I feel. As you've noticed I wasn't very active on the forum last couple of weeks. The reason of it is that wife of my husband's brother gave birth to a wonderful girl. This is their second baby. My husband and I went to their house to visit them after delivery. Though I should say it was really hard for both of us. I'm happy for them and for their children. They have really amazing family. I wish we could also have children. I'm sure they would make our life different. So we went to visit them. When I saw a little baby girl I started to cry. She's so beautiful tiny little cutie. I was crying because I was happy for them. Also I was feeling sorry both for myself and my husband. I've noticed that when my husband was holding baby girl in his arms, he was also about to cry. This was a very tough moment for us. When we get home we didn't talk at all. Each of us was thinking about our infertility and our desire to have children. At least I was. After our visit my husband seems different. He doesn't talk that much. He comes home late from work. When I talk to him it seems he's somewhere else. To be honest it scares me. He doesn't talk to me. I started to think up stuff in my head which make me feel nervous. I understand this is hard for him to see that his younger brother is having his second child. I understand that old blame is on me. I'm so scared that he may decide to leave me because I can't give him what he wants the most. That's why I do everything so our surrogacy procedure could start as soon as possible. I hope that our journey will give us strength to keep going till the end.
FAnitta3 alisa88579
Posted
I know how it feels. It's very nice you didn't give up, despite the fact that it’s hard not to in such situation. I also had uterine cancer. One night I woke up because of sharp pain in abdomen and found out that I was bleeding. I underwent surgery and all reproductive organs were removed. It was a big shock for me and I almost gave up. My husband wanted a son so much and I knew I couldn't fulfill his wish. I began to look for solutions, clinics, doctors. I wanted to do everything to save my marriage and my will to live. After a long search, conversations with friends, reading of articles and reviews, we decided to focus on surrogacy. In our country it’s legal, but very expensive and we couldn't afford it. So we began to look for clinics in other countries. We wanted to find the best doctors and, at the same time, affordable price. Now we have a wonderful healthy boy. My husband and I are very happy and grateful. I would advise you to be careful! There are so many fake agencies, which want to take all your money and leave you with nothing. Pay attention to positive reviews, talk with friends, maybe they know someone who has experience in this sphere. Also don’t forget to check official websites and contact clinics directly! Ask them questions, look through their services and prices. Google them and learn each review. Then weigh all pros and cons and choose the right one for you! Good luck!
kim00606 alisa88579
Posted
Hi dear! I'm so sorry about your situation. But I'm happy to know you battled cancer! Unfortunately I've also faced infertility. My dh and I wanted to have children more than anything else. I've got pregnant when I was 22. I was warned about risks. My doctors told me I'm crazy if I leave a baby. My heart could not stand pregnancy. It might cause problems not only to my health, but baby's health as well. Also doctors told me there is high possibility I might die. All this scared me and I was confused. After long discussion with my dh we decided we should make it.
I don't know if I regret about this decision. I don't know maybe I would regret my whole life if I made an abortion on early term. Unfortunately doctors made me to terminate pregnancy on 6th month. I had dyspnea, edema, blood circulation disorders. I felt pain in chest. My heart was aching not only because it was hard for it to work for two, but also because I knew I should make my choice. I had to choose either I will live or my baby and I will die. Unbearable pain had never left me. I think it will never fade away.
We also decided to go abroad to have surrogacy. The clinic provided us with everything needed, so we felt absolutely comfortable in foreign country. We were met in the airport. We were provided with a taxi and it was transporting us to the clinic and to our apt. Btw, housing was also provided by the clinic. The whole process was under their control. They found surrogate mother for us in 2.5 months. We paid approximately $30,000 for everything. We didn't choose a surrogate mother by ourselves. Her appearance doesn't matter. The most important are her health and ability to bear a child. So our doctor chose sm for us.
Surrogacy is perfect option in your case. Be very careful in your search. There are hundreds of fake agencies. They take money away from miserable people and continue to live happily. That's why I advise you to contact clinics directly. Good luck, dear!
alisa88579
Posted
Hello everyone! How are you? What news do you have? Thank you for replies. You helped a lot! I'm sorry I wasn't active for a while. I've been very busy with preparation to our surrogacy journey. Next month we'll go to fertility clinic! Though I'm super nervous, but I'm very excited! We've been waiting for this moment for such a long time. I can't believe it's finally happening! We've already booked flight tickets. I've already started to pack, though my dh thinks it's too early)) Well I can do nothing with myself! I'm thinking about surrogacy 24/7 and counting days till we met with the dr. I'll update when we'll get back home. Wish us luck!