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Seeing my depressed partner is so heartbreaking

Posted , 5 users are following.

louise101078
louise101078

My depressed partner is into week 4 now after a really bad relapse. 

He didn’t know how he felt about me anymore which was awful but I knew it wasn’t him talking as he was so depressed and as time as passed his feelings sometimes are back. He moved out at the time and since we have been taking it very slowly and I know seeing him has helped and cheered him/me up although on Saturday he did feel quite anxious around me to which i left him alone. Time has definitely worked and I know we have a long way to go but I’m struggling so bad to try and keep the household/work/kids/dogs/cat going I’m about to crumble myself.  I’d do anything to have it back the way it was. I’ll stick by him as I know he’s the one for me but It’s so difficult To carry on as I love and miss him so bad.  Is anyone else going through this? 

1 like, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • chase87964
    chase87964 louise101078

    Posted

    My partner is dealing with the same thing but I’m the one who is depressed... I believe that it is indeed the depression talking and I know it seems hard but don’t let him bring you down too as you have your own life as well. Has he seeked help for any of this? Depression makes it hard to feel really anything, especially love it’s kind of like a blocked feeling when you’re depressed. 
    • louise101078
      louise101078 chase87964

      Posted

      Hiya yes he went in meds 4 weeks ago and there is a lift definitely  I can see but I’m so fearful that he will still turn around and say he doesn’t love me 😓

    • chase87964
      chase87964 louise101078

      Posted

      Well the meds do take some time to work.. but I’ve been told by my GP when I was having doubts about my significant other is that if I loved her before then I will love her again. So if he truly loved you his feelings should go back before the depression hit. 
    • louise101078
      louise101078 chase87964

      Posted

      He said the feelings started to change about 6 months ago and he was on meds then so the question is was he getting depressed then or has he truly fell out of love with me? Yet he’s trying and I guess if he was so sure he would of just ended it. He said he feels more positive than negative but he hasn’t said the feelings are back. How long did it take for your feelings to return? 
    • chase87964
      chase87964 louise101078

      Posted

      In my experience I feel like I never really lost feelings for my gf I just couldn’t feel them when I was depressed which I’m still going through the depression my feelings are slowly starting to return to normal. I do feel if he fell out of love with you he wouldn’t be hanging around like you said. 
    • louise101078
      louise101078 chase87964

      Posted

      It’s just so mixed signals. One minute he can’t keep his hands off me and is kissing me and loving me the next his eyes go cold which is when the feelings obviously go numb.  Were you selfish to your gf?
  • borderriever
    borderriever louise101078

    Posted

    Louise

    I am a Patient very much the same, my Wife is my carer and I can be very awkward sometimes when depressed or ill. You need to be firm but kind in your outlook. Also sometimes tough love can be a good idea. I know this is hard and you will most probably feel to show concern and be understanding may not be the most positive way to go.

    You need to be confident, you have others who rely upon you. You need to look after yourself and be able to address your needs. Given that He will need to bend  to any problems you are having. It does not you need to back down  just He needs meet you halfway. Do not allow him to beat you over the head with His condition

    BOB

     

    • louise101078
      louise101078 borderriever

      Posted

      I’m so scared tough love will drive us apart with him not being in the right frame of mind but my patience is starting to struggle as he is being very selfish and no where near the man I used to know and love! I’m afraid I’m going to be the one that ends it all when I can’t take anymore as there’s only so much i can do ☹️
    • borderriever
      borderriever louise101078

      Posted

      Louise

      Mental health conditions can be very self centred and that can make those people who love the person suffer just as much as the Patient 

      You may find changes in the situation you found yourself in before this health concern has now entered a new dynamic where He may feel the need to change the  your relationship together, it may be He now feels the need to move on. You need to consider what you wish to do if this happens in case either one of you wishes to move on. The person you knew has changed ?

      BOB

  • nicky46030
    nicky46030 louise101078

    Posted

    Hi Louise, 

    I am going through the same thing with my husband, looking back I can see the signs now, he didn't have the same enthusiasm for the kids, he used to love the little things in life, like picking my little girl up from preschool and making her boiled eggs on a Tuesday, but looking back he has been rather grumpy this year. anyway a month ago he said he doesn't know if he loves me anymore and that he has just been gliding on as he didn't want to upset the family life that he loves (even though he has been miserable on family days out for ages) I was in a big shock and thinking of the worst etc stepmums the lot, I have a 4 and 7 year old and they are full of energy so can be testing at times (like most kids) and because everyone has said that he needs time away from me to see if he wants it to end, I am literally not coping with work, school runs and every other responsibility while he has been spending time at his mums and I have been having the where's daddy questions which breaks me, so I asked him to come back for the kids, he says he feels better coming back as he doesn't have the guilt of being away from the kids but obviously doesn't feel anything for me still sad he is like a walking zombie...not there!

    he went to the doctors yesterday and he said to the doctor that he is doubting our relationship and she said he cannot make any big decisions like this and prescribed him sertraline...how is your situation now? will I ever have my husband back or has the relationship just crumbled and its not depression? I'm so confused, he has everyone confused.

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