Self destruct

Posted , 6 users are following.

Why do I do things that I hate myself even more for!

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Because you have this fixed opinion about yourself that you are stupid,  selfish etc. and you are sub consciously trying to justify it even more by making yourself feel more self hatred?    x
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    • Posted

      Completely agree.

      Dondons, no matter how much everyone reassures you and reminds you how good a person you are on here, it's not going to help until you believe it yourself.

      You are good, you are kind, you are worthy.

      But you need to try and let someone, be it on here or in your personal life, in enough to make you truly realise that you are deserving of a good life.

      It's hard, I know.

      Maybe at some point relinquish a bit of control and accept the lovely things people have to say about you.

      I know that's difficult, but if you ever get in a place where you can value your own self worth as much as others do, it'd be a great starting point.

      Thinking of you xxx

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  • Posted

    You are human and not perfect.  Just like the rest of us.  I have asked myself this same question.  Then I came upon the definition of insanity and I sought ways to change my behaviors.  It helped. Alot.
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  • Posted

    I think we all do! But must keep putting effort into doing life's lessons, taking the tests and celebrating the results. Hopefully we'll all gradually improve in our assignments and make heaven on earth in the process. Just sometimes wish the course was more easier though.
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  • Posted

    Hi Dondons, I agree with the group you sound like a normal beautiful person just confused travelling through a challenging stage of your life but rest assure I can tell you will once things balance out you will be back to where you were Happy!! You need to regain belief in yourself avoid the questions in my mind that stress you out! Get the help you deserve smile
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  • Posted

    Thank you for all your replies xxx

    Bev and Audrey you know me too well and you're right but I just can't change it, I don't know how xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Dondon well we are making great progress if you are aware that your mindset has to change,  as before you couldn't even get to that stage.   So well done with this.  

      Now to change

      1.  You have taken the first step in admitting you need to change - that is wonderful.  Now you can build on that.

      2.  Consciously stop yourself obsessing about what an awful person you are.  Every time you have a negative thought follow it straight afterwards with a positive one.  Eg 'I got out of bed too late this morning'.  Follow it  with 'At least I managed to get out of bed at all'.  Get the picture.  This is not easy but keep on and it will become a good habit. 

      3.  Keep telling yourself you are as good as anyone else.  Even if you don't believe it it will start to take the more you do it.  

      4.  Every time you call yourself names ie weak  selfish,  stupid remember that's ok coz we all are sometimes.  Don't let it overwhelm you and define you.

      5.  Go out every day even if it's just for a short walk.  Hold your head up high and practise walking with confidence.

      6.  Keep yourself busy - every time you feel bad make yourself get up and do something.   Housework,  cooking etc. 

      7.  Fight the feeings of negativity and don't allow yourself to sink into it and become obsessive about it.

      8.  Set time limits on your self pity - ie half an hour a day then consciously pull yourself out of it and concentrate on something else. 

      9.  None of these are easy love,  but by doing these things you are fighting to live rather than wishing to die.   It will become a habit in the end.

      10.  I know from experience that things will improve a lot for you if you just hang on in there and take some control back. 

      Ok?   Think of them as exercises you need to do daily.   Before you realise it your mindset will start changing of it's own accord.  

      If it's easier just practise one of them at first,  then gradually build them all in.  

      I told you before that I am not giving up on you love and I mean it.  Always available for you here or in pm my friend.   Bev xxx

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    • Posted

      Hi dondon if you didn't spend your energy in calling yourself names and obsessing over what an awful person you are,  you would have a lot more for the exercises.   What have you got to lose?   If it worked for me it should work for you.   Are you afraid of feeling better?   Are you a quitter?  x
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